Mother's Day

Generally, I'm not a huge fan of mother's day. After years of IF I know the hurt the day can cause for those who can't/don't yet have their babies, and I think a lot of women who are mother's end up being somewhat disappointed. That being said I have to admit I really did love being a mother on mother's day this year. Not because I wanted or needed any presents but because after years of trying I was finally with my babies, and that's all we've ever really wanted. I went back and read my blog entry from mother's day a year ago, it's amazing how much can change, and my hope is that for all the women and men still trying to have their babies that they too will one realize that reality. IF is so hard and unfair and I hate the days that serve as a bold reminder of that pain. At least for me the pain of IF is not something one every fully forgets or gets over (at least not at this point).

It also didn't hurt that when we went down to the NICU yesterday there were little cards in each of the babies isolates wishing me a happy mother's day with their little foot prints on them. So cute. I have no idea who does that kind of thing for the babies but it's a really nice personal touch.



As far as the babies progress goes Eli needed to go under the lights yesterday because of some jaundice. He was our little glow baby, with sun glasses. The worst part of it was we couldn't hold him at all again yesterday because of the lights. However, we were lucky enough to be there when they were changing his diaper and feeding him, and when the removed him from the lights he started throwing a fit, kicking and screaming. It was actually kind of adorable and he turned all red and exhausted himself. I think he just wanted to be left alone and when the nurse picked him up he was not happy about it. He also drank from a bottle a little bit yesterday before it became just a little too much work for him, and I was finally able to pump a little and he seemed to have a preference for the breast milk. Which is good motivation to keep working at all of that. The nurse said depending on his levels I might get to try and feed him soon. He's eating about 15 (something I forgot the measurement because I'm exhausted and on pain meds) and continues to show off for us with how well he's doing.





Emerson is also doing a little better. So far she's managed to avoid the lights and they were able to turn down her O2 a little bit. They were also able to feed her a little through her tube but she's only getting 3 (whatever measurement I need to figure that out) and her digestive skills still aren't the best. She seems so uncomfortable at times with all her IV's and wires and often when we're visiting she'll kick and cry and move. It's so hard not to be able to hold her, especially when she just seems so tired and annoyed with all the wires. Hopefully some time soon she'll be stable enough. She did open her eyes for us yesterday and we were finally able to see her a little better.



They are both also trying really hard to suck their thumbs so so cute.

As far as me. I'm still in quite a bit of pain but the percocet is my best friend and I'm just trying to move as much as I can.