Friday, January 29, 2010

Poor Emmy...

Already being picked on by her big brother. Yesterday I was feeding them carrots and Emerson was happily eating and holding onto her spare spoon (I give them their own spoon so they can practice without the mess).

She was smiling, babbling, eating happily, and holding her spoon when her big brother reached over and grabbed it out of her hands.

I have never seen her look so sad it broke my heart. In an instant she went from smiling, happy Emerson- to pouting and crying hysterically. She was devastated by the lose of her spoon.

And she was perfectly content again once the spoon was returned.

It really was so sad and Eli was totally unaware as he spit out his own carrots and clapped his hands happily.

My crazy kids.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Getting ready...***update***

To take both babies to a class with me. Pray for me :~) Last time I attempted this it did not go well.

We survived! The babies actually did really well. One of my good friends (and Eli's godmother) is in the class so she helped me get them both out of the apartment and over to the school. Once there we each took a kid and held them for the 1hr 30min. When we first got to class Emerson was a little bit unsure.
She didn't really seem to excited about the prospect of school.

Eli as usual was ready to go.

Once Emerson was back in my arms she was fine. She loves to study things and people and as long as no one is trying to hold her or talking to her she's fine. Eli jumped on my friends lap the whole time but neither of them cried.

At one point my professor gave us a handout and both babies love paper. They each grabbed ahold of them and were making so much noise it was hilarious.

I don't want to do this often because it's exhausting to focus on class and be engaged and hold a wiggling baby in my arms. Once again thank goodness for friends and hopefully next week I find a baby-sitter.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Uh oh...

I think we have a bit of a problem. Marcus started his classes and internship this week and as a result we unfortunately will be seeing less of him these days. This also means that Eli and Emerson will have to once again be left in the capable hands of my many amazing friends to watch them while I'm in class.

Last semester this worked great because Marcus was able to coordinate his schedule so that he was with them during my 2 and 3 hour classes so no one needed to watch them more than an hour. This semester that didn't work out and yesterday the babies were left with my good friend D for 3 hours by himself.

Emerson lately has had a bit of separation anxiety and only seems to want me or Marcus and I was afraid for any baby-sitter trying to deal with that and Eli at the same time. Emerson screamed for the entire 3 hours I was in class. Luckily my friend D is amazing and calm and loves the babies so he just walked with her and held her and tried to get her to calm down.

Also working in our favor is the fact that Eli is fairly easy going. Unless he's hungry or tired he's usually good to just do his weird push-ups and back-bends all over the floor. Of course Eli did eventually get hungry and so D, became a multi-tasker at one point he was able to pick them both up and walk with them for a bit which worked. Then he put Eli in the bouncer so he could feed Eli while still holding Emerson.

Afterwards D just laughed and promised that he was fine, but I still feel bad. My friends watch the babies for free and I owe them so so much. I really hope Emerson works through this new stage quickly so my friends don't run away in the other direction when they have to watch the babies.

I am so very grateful for the support I have here in this community which allows me to do school and motherhood, although not always gracefully, at least it is possible.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Eli's New tricks...

Eli is trying to figure out the crawling thing, but he's just not putting all the pieces together. Instead of getting on his knees he instead gets up on his toes into pushup position and then bounces trying to move somewhere.

Eli has also starting smiling by wrinkling his nose and his whole face. It's adorable...

And it cracks up us because he looks hilarious. (Not the best picture because it's hard to get on camera).

Friday, January 22, 2010

Baby Food, I'm not a fan...

(And neither is Eli but that's beside the point). We've started the whole baby food thing a few weeks ago and Emerson continues to love whatever we give her, especially carrots. Eli on the other hand still hasn't swallowed anything we've put in his mouth, but he has learned that he should open his mouth for the spoon so I guess that's progress.

I really dislike this baby food stuff. It's so incredibly messy. Every time we feed them they get covered in food, it's time consuming and did I mention it's messy. They basically need a new outfit after it's over.

I guess I better get used to it since they'll only be eating more and more as they get older.

Eli with carrots every where but his stomach.

Emerson. I love this picture because it so indicative of her personality. She's hilarious and gets annoyed with us and people and she without a doubt lets us know it. The other day we went to the mall (which we never ever do) and we were of course stopped 300 million times by strangers who wanted to look at the babies, offer weird advice, tell stories about every twin they have ever encountered in their life, encourage us to separate the babies when the start school until junior high and then put them back together (yes seriously a woman had a whole conversation with us about this), solicitations to get them into modeling (no thanks).... etc etc.

Eli, LOVES the attention and he'll smile and clap for just about anyone. Emerson on the other hand gets annoyed, is not amused, and sits stone faced without moving glaring at people, no smiles for the random people. (If she knew how to roll her eyes I imagine she would do that too). It cracks me up because her face is conveying what I'm feeling during all the random attention/advice from strangers.

(Sorry that was a bit of a tangent but we caught her annoyed face on camera. I had taken a lot of pictures and I think she was done, she's not glaring in the picture above though she just has her serious face on).

And looking at each. I love that they're finally starting to realize the other exists.

So back to my orginal point. Emerson loves baby food, Eli does not and neither do I.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Shots for the babies work miracles...

I know that's a little strange to say and I hate watching the babies scream as they get their shots, but they work wonders on our babies. (Stay with me on this and let me explain). The babies had their third synagis shot this week and of course they screamed while getting it, and since they're bigger now it's two shots instead of just one. But each time they have shots they come home and nap (I think because screaming is really exhausting). Then they wake up in crazy happy moods, and remain that way into the evening.

It's so strange. Marcus calls them, "Happy Shots" because my strange kids seem happier after getting them each time. The other amazing result is the babies always sleep all the way through the night after the shots. We've been having the issues with Eli especially at night. For the first time in weeks we laid Eli down for bed and he didn't wake back up screaming. He just slept.

I have no idea if this can actually be attributed to the shot or not, but they do seem to be happier, easy going babies after shots. I'm glad that's how it works for them instead of the opposite creating cranky, non-sleeping babies.

(And not to jinx anything but we laid Eli down for bed a few hours ago and so far no screaming. Let's hope this is a return to my normal sleeping baby and the screaming was just a result from our travel).

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hematology Results = Von Willebrand Disease for both babies...

Crap. Overall von willebrand is not a huge deal (at least it hasn't been in my case). Before and after surgeries I get DDAVP and I avoid taking aspirin, and sometimes I bleed a little more excessively then others. That's about the extent of it. However, in talking with their hematologist today with the babies they want us to watch for a few things as they continue to develop.

If they ever hit their head we need to call hematology immediately. As they begin to teeth they are prescribing a medication that can help with any excessive bleeding in their gums, and once the babies start to walk they want to see the babies again to examine how they're bruising, and obviously any major trauma with the chance of bleeding this is important information. They also really want us to get medical alert bracelets for the babies (and they actually want me to get one too).

I was really hoping they could just avoid all of this. I just told Emerson though that if and when she should decide to have children don't let them put her under general anesthesia because of the von willebrands. I still wish I would have questioned that decision a little more.

Blah.. not the end of the world just something else that we and they will have to deal with forever.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Emerson's new love...

Tags. She finds the tags on her toys (like the above pic.) on her clothes, on our clothes, on pretty much everything, and she studies them intently for incredible amounts of time. She's such an funny baby.

And Eli continues to work on his sitting skills. He liked my mirror.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Crazy kid...

Eli has decided that rather than going around things...

He'd rather just do a backbend over them. Marcus and I are concerned he may break his neck. This is how he moves around the room pushing with his legs.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Feeding, sleeping, and car troubles...

Good times at our house.

Emerson still won't eat from her bottle. Today she at 15 oz, this causes her to wake up several times throughout the night because she's hungry and then we have the same issue trying to get her to eat.

Eli is still screaming his head off for hours when we try to lay him down for bed and it's not crying it's screaming at the top of his lungs.

And our car needs a new alternator so we can't drive it any where until that's fixed since Marcus almost got stranded downtown on his way back home today. Which gave me flashbacks to our biggest and one of our only fights ever.

Right after we were married and and new residents of California our car broke down at Marcus' place of work. He hitched a ride home from work that night from a coworker, but we needed to get our car out of the parking lot so it wouldn't be impounded. Being young, newly married, living away from home for the first time in a new state, and having very little life experience Marcus and I were incredibly stressed out by this car issue.

We did determine that we needed to call a two truck, I looked up a number in the phone book, and then told Marcus to call. Who then told me to call, and I in turn told him to call. This argument went on and on and on and back and forth and it escalated until we were both shouting over who would call the freaking tow truck.

It was really bad. I think I cried, and in the end Marcus did finally call, but it was a production. It's so ridiculous looking back on it now, and we laugh about the fact that this was one of our only arguments,  and it was over making a phone call.

So luckily Marcus made it home and no tow truck was needed today. Although I imagine that we would both be fine with calling a tow truck now. My how far we've come in our 6.5 years of marriage.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

4 Generations...

While we were home for the holidays Marcus' grandparents, in typical fashion, decided to make a surprise visit so they could meet the babies. Which is nice... however these grandparents while well intentioned, are best when taken in small doses.

They love to tell stories, especially Grandma S., and she mostly loves to tell the same stories over and over and over again. For instance every time I have ever seen them I learn that I'm too short to play volleyball, and "isn't it interesting that I'm short just like their granddaughter Katie and my name is Sadie."

And now since I have twins the stories center around their 26 year old twin grandchildren (who've I've met) with a continual reminder that they're "half Chinese" lest any of us forget that detail. It's actually kind of fun because before they arrive we all try to make bets about which stories Grandma S. will share. (I always vote for the story about her brother who lives in Mexico, and the story about working with the computer back in the day which took up the entire room).

After 6.5 years of marriage I'm used to this set of grandparents but it did take me awhile to adjust to their random drop ins. Right after we were married we moved to California so we could go to school and moved within a short distance of their home. For the first couple of years the grandparents would stop by unannounced, usually while Marcus was at work, which nearly sent me over the edge. (I hate surprise visitors).

My favorite visit of theirs was a few months after we had moved and our car broke down. Marcus called his grandparents to see if they had a car we could borrow while we waited for ours to get fix. I'm not sure to this day if Marcus left a message or spoke to his grandpa but a few days later (while Marcus was at work I might add), they knocked on our door and wheeled into my living a brand new mountain bike. Turns out, no, we couldn't borrow a car but no fear we got a new bike instead.

Grandma S. in addition to random bikes also used to bring us dark chocolate as she credits it with her longevity and health in life. Funny stuff, which is amusing to me now, but definitely took some getting used to. 

Anyways, now that you know a little about the grandparents. They came for a few days to visit, we all heard some stories, and the babies got to meet their great grandparents.

4 Generations of S---- Men
Marcus, Rich (Marcus' dad), Eli, and Richard (Marcus' grandpa).
Getting all four of them to look at the same camera was impossible.

And now with Emerson and Marcus' grandpa sans glasses.
(I'm not sure why he removed them).

And this random picture which cracks me up. Debbie (my MIL) and I wanted the above pictures because it's four generations of S---. After that was done Marcus' grandpa said okay now it's all the girls turn.  So this is a picture of three people who are only related because we each married S---- men. (The babies seem confused too).
The babies with one set of their great grandparents. Marcus and I are very lucky because all of our grandparents are still with us. I hope the babies can meet each set soon.  

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

No sleep...

The babies, especially Eli, seem to be reverting back to their early days where evenings and bed time are a nightmare. I don't know if this is related to travel, the three hour time change that we're working on correcting or some other factor but it's enough to make Marcus and I lose our minds.

The babies used to go to bed at 6. We would do their night time routine and then see them in 8-12 hours. Now, Eli falls alseep for 30 minutes and wakes up screaming (usually with his eyes closed). We'll rock him, shush, lay him back down and repeat and repeat and repeat. Until, his screaming wakes up his sister and then we have two awake screaming babies. This happens for several hours.

Then we'll get him calmed down he'll sleep for another hour to thirty minutes and we start the whole thing again. I have no idea what to do. Marcus and I are not dealing with this set back very gracefully to say the least. We're both exhausted and frustrated and taking it out on each other.

Now that I've started my semester, I already have homework I haven't been able to attend to it until after ten when I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Marcus has been home with them more now than ever, which as much as he enjoys it takes a toll (his semester doesn't start for two more weeks) and we're both still re-adjusting from traveling too and it's not a pretty sight for any of us.

Hopefully, this regression will be short lived for all of our sakes. Poor Emerson needs her brother to stop waking her up (and trust me it takes a lot to wake this girl up, Eli is screaming at the top of his lungs). Marcus and I need the quiet of the evenings so we can do our work and actually talk to each other without one of us holding a screaming child and we all just need some sleep.

Back to school (my last and final semester)...

For now anyways. I graduate with my masters degree in May and I'm already feeling a little stressed out about life after graduation. I've never not known what was next. After high school was college, after college, grad. school, now .... I don't know. It's taking every ounce of strength not to apply to another program out of fear but, I do at some point need to become a productive member of society and use my many years of education. So in a few months I'll be done without any real plans of where we'll move, where we'll be working, and all of that fun stuff. I hope by May a few details will work themselves out.

But first this semester. I think I've mostly decided on my classes this semester (after I do my course audit to make sure I'm not missing any graduation requirements).

As of right now I'm taking:

1.) Body and Soul: Sexuality & Justice - I think this class is going to be amazing. We're talking about all things related to sexuality including ART so that's pretty exciting for me. She's also an advocate of raising sexually healthy children from the time they are babies. A friend of mine is an intern with her at her non-profit and I was given the book, From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children From infancy to Middle School. By Debra W. Haffner.

2.) World Religions and Ecology: Asian Religions - This class is merely to fulfill a requirement. I'm not particularly excited about it since I've already taken a ton of classes on Asian religions but I'm going to attempt to make the best of it. (The other downside is it's kind of a long walk to get to it, something I generally try to avoid because it requires more childcare before and after and I'm uh... a bit lazy when it's cold outside and the return trip is uphill).

3.) Women's Ways of Preaching - A class where I get to explore the issues that are so called "woman's issues" like reproductive loss, violence, abuse etc. (I use the quotes because frankly these things should be concerns of everyone not just women).

4.) Just Hospitality - I'm taking this class for one reason. We get to read almost all of Letty Russell's books. Letty Russell is a well known feminist theologian. It's interesting because I was first introduced to Letty at her memorial service my first year of grad. school. I was asked to work as an usher, and I stood at the door, handed out programs, assisted her loved ones, and listened as many spoke about the amazing work she's done with and for women in the field. This course is extra amazing because it's being taught by her Partner of 32 years Dr. Shannon Clarkson.

5.) Practicum - Another  boring requirement. It's the class portion of my onsite internship.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Hematology & PT

The babies had their follow-up hemotology appointment today that was made when they left the NICU. The doctors wanted to do another panel to test for Von willebrand a bleeding disorder I have, and that the doctors have made a huge issue out of since I told them about it. (This is their reason for putting me under general for my c-section, which in my opinion was totally unncesssary).

Anyways, it took forever and essentially all they did was draw blood today. We did see a doctor. They took my history yet again, and then the poor babies had their blood taken from their tiny little arms and they screamed and screamed. Way worse than shots because it was much more prolonged as they took 4 vials of blood. Poor babies. We should have the results in 2 weeks. Hopefully they both are fine and we don't ever have to deal with this von willebrand stuff ever again with them.

 Fun with the paper on the exam table.

They also had physical therapy today.


Developmental Team Objectives:
1. Trunk Control/sitting
2. Reaching, grasping, manipulating objects
3. Hands & knees
4. Rolling

1. Tummy time
2. Rolling
3. Sitting with support
4. Kneeling at couch cushion
5. Neck stretching

Progress since last visit:
Eli is clapping and can sit briefly propped on his arms. Went to hematology today no results from blood work yet. Brings everything to mouth. Lots of talking.

During today's visit:
Eli sits with minimal support and even independently briefly. He will occasionally correct for small loss of balance but usally tips over. Nice erect posture. Rolls back to tummy, not yet tummy to back. Tolerates tummy time indefinately. Pushes up very far on extended arms, chest fully off floor, maintains hands and knees briefly with help. Tried play on knees at couch cushion on the floor today. Good manipulation of objects. Neck still a little tight to right side.

Suggested activities for daily routine:
1. Keep up with daily neck stretching to the right
2. Lots of time playing in sitting. Give him a variety of objects to manipulate. Demonstrate banging toys together on other toys.
3. When pushing up on arms on tummy give him a little boost under the tummy/pelvis to help come up into hands and knees position.
4. Encourage play with feet
5. Kneeling to play at couch cushion on floor a good place for position, help him twist into sitting by swinging his hops over one side
6. Help him to roll to tummy to backk when he's playing on the floor.


Developmental Team Objectives:
1. Trunk control/sitting
2. Manipulating objects with hands
3. Propping on arms on tummy
4. Rolling

1. Supported sitting
2. Tummy time
3. Playing on knees at cushion
4. Rolling

Progress since last visit:
Emerson has good head control. She's able to sit with head erect over shoulders, except when tired. Good attention span, mainpulates and turns objects to explore them. Not bringing much to mouth yet. Likes solid food better than bottle. Not rolling. Went to hematologist no results.

During today's visit:
Emerson sits with help, but is now able to keep head erect over body; back tends to be rounded, but is occasionally straight for brief periods. On tummy is bale to lift head up to 45 degress. Tolerates tummy time for several minute. Good manipulation with hands. Tried some kneeling at couch cushion today with good tolerance. Needs help to roll.

Suggested activities for daily routine:
1. Lots of tummy time, keep it to within her tolerance for time, try to avoid getting her worked up. Help her roll onto her back when she's had enough.
2. Play in kneeling position at couch cushion on the floor, this counts as tummy time.
3. Sitting with support, help her keep her back straight when sitting. Give her a variety of objects to mainpulate with hands and study. Show her how to bring two object together. Model for her and help with hand over hand.

Dear Jennifer Lopez...

Thanks for your recent thoughts on IF treatments

"When it comes to family and relationships, I’m quite traditional," the star, 40, tells the February issue of Ellemagazine. "Just because of the way I was raised. And I also believe in God and I have a lot of faith in that, so I just felt like you don't mess with things like that."
Lopez -- who is mother to 22-month-old twins Max and Emme with hubby Marc Anthony -- portrays a woman who decides to have a baby through artificial insemination in the upcoming romantic comedy, The Back-Up Plan. Still, she doesn't believe the process is for her.
"I guess deep down, I really felt like either this is not going to happen for me or it is," she tells Elle. "You know what I mean? And if it is, it will. And if it's not, it’s not going to."

What great insight. I guess I just wasn’t raised "traditionally" you know since we can't seem to have kids the "traditional way". Perhaps if only we'd have more faith in God, we wouldn't have had to, "mess with things like that." 

I hate to break it to you but no amount of faith or belief in God changes our reality in regards to our infertility. If it did I think we'd have a pretty good chance considering my current vocational path, but alas no such luck. 

And can I just tell you how great it is that you're going to portray a woman who uses donor sperm to conceive twins even though "the process is just not for you." I can respect that. I mean the process wasn't really for me either, I'm pretty sure it's not really for anyone, but well turns out that we (my husband and I) in all our non-tradition didn't have a choice in the matter. 

So again thanks for your thoughts. They weren't condescending and ridiculous at all. Congrats on being able to conceive your twins the "traditional way" without "messing with things like that" if only we could all be so lucky. Perhaps in the future it would be beneficial to recognize your own good fortune without implying a whole lot about those who are not so lucky. 

P.S. not that it matters but there are many who claim you actually did use IF treatments to have your twins. I don't care one way or another and respect your right to be private about it, but if you did your statements are even more hurtful. 

Me, an apparent non-traditional, mother of twins, who "messed with things like that" 

Sunday, January 10, 2010

8 Months old (two days late).

Taking the monthly pictures...

Is really funny these days...

Because they don't hold still at all...

Unless Marcus stands behind me with a cell phone.

Eli at 8 months...

*Rolls with ease from his back to his tummy.
* Loves tummy time and can push all the way up on his arms
* Occassionally pushes backwards while on his tummy.
* Sometimes puts his butt in the air while on his tummy (trying to figure out how to crawl).
*Hates solids more than anything in the world.
*Learned to clap which is adorable.
*Loves to jump while standing on our lap.
*Figured out how to use some new Christmas toys, pushing buttons and closing things.
*Still does his weird backbend, head scooting thing and moves all over like that.
*Loves being underneath things. Like clothes, blankest, tables etc.
*Just started noticing his sister.
* can tri-pod sit for a few seconds.

Emerson at 8 months...

*Babbles all the time. La-la, da-dadadadad, etc.
 wait until she starts to associate those sounds with things.
*Loves solids and eating from the spoon.
 She however despises her bottle and getting her to eat from it is a daily struggle.
*Found her feet.
*Loves being without clothes and cries when we dress her.
*Hates her tummy, dosen't roll anymore.
* Also just started noticing her brother and likes to grab him.
She however does not want Eli to touch her at all.
*Doesn't like new people and cries when she can't see us.
(She'll need to work through this as we start the new semester).
*Studies everything. She'll hold a toy and just turn it over and look at it
from every angle trying to figure it out. She does this with cell phones & cameras too.

Last month before we went home for the holidays the baby had their 6 month evaluation with their physical therapist to see if they had met the goals we set out six months ago. Eli succesfully met all of his and we made new goals.

Emerson on the otherhand didn't meet most of them and she now will now start PT twice a month and see the OT to help with her bottle eating issues. I'm trying not to worry. I know she'll catch up in her own time, but it's hard when Eli seems so far ahead of her in regards to development. Which also isn't really fair because if they weren't twins we wouldn't have a basis for comparision either. I just worry that she hasn't really improved in strength for the last few months. That doesn't seem okay to me.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Dear Mr. Eli...

We love you very much and know that you've been recovering from an ear infection so these past few weeks we've understood why you've been waking up multiple times in the middle of the night. However, last night I think we've reached our limit. We really need you to sleep.

Waking up at midnight and then again at two and screaming for 2.5 hours is really not healthy for any of us, especially when you wake up your sister resulting in two awake babies. Let's try again tonight and see if we can all remember how great it is to sleep. It also might be beneficial if you eat during the day and not the night.

Your exhausted, frustrated, can hardly function Mom & Dad who miss their baby that sleeps for more than a few hours at a time.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Ears are clear for take-off...

We took Eli to my mom's doctor today just to make sure his ear infection had cleared off before we get back on a plane Saturday to fly home. Flying with an ear infection would be cruel and unusual punishment and we did not want to subject him to that. Luckily all seems to be well and his 10 days of antibiotics seem to have done the trick.

Since our hometown doesn't have any pediatricians we were seeing just a family practice doctor and they didn't have the small baby exam tables with sides on them. Eli had a really great time playing with the paper on the full size exam table. He was hilarious and in such a funny mood.

And it's a good sign that he didn't try to punch the doctor this time when she checked his ears. I'm so glad our first ear infection is behind us. I hope we don't have many more in the future it was awful.

I also finally got my H1N1 vaccine. I've literally been trying to get it for months where we live and haven't had any luck (even though both babies and Marcus have all been vaccinated, Marcus went to his university and the babies Pedi had enough for them).

There was a free clinic in my hometown so I jumped at the opportunity, and had kind of an awkward encounter with another twin mom.

The guy giving the shot asked me how many kids I had and when I responded I had 8 month old twins, another guy working at the clinic started asking me some questions since he is the father of 14 year old twin boys.

He was so accurate about the twin experience talking about how incredibly difficult the first year is as I nodding in affirmation that this, man "got" it.

Then this other woman jumps in and says, "It wasn't bad I would do it again."  Turns out she's the mother of 17 year old boy/girl twins.

To which the man jokingly replied, "Yeah it's great now,  but during those first 9 months you sometimes want to rip your arms off."

I laughed and nodded in affirmation, again at the relief that somebody else got it.

But this woman finding no humor in it and being super twin mom or something shares, "And I nursed for the first year."

Which I get is great and amazing with twins (although it's sort of an odd thing to randomly announce to a group of strangers who hadn't asked). I wish the babies would have figured out BFing or that I could have exclusively pumped for more than 5 months but there were many factors that just didn't make that possible.

I didn't want to get into all of that so I just said, "That's great. Mine were premature and just never really figured it out."

"Mine too 3 & 4 pounds" was her response.

At which point I was just done. It's not a competition. I do know that twins are a blessing but that doesn't make it any easier and all she was doing was making me feel bad. Not only do I think having twins is incredibly difficult and trying I also couldn't BF them, and I can honestly say that I don't know if I could handle another set of multiples. So I just smiled and thanked all of those around me and left... but she wasn't quite done yet as she called after me,

"You better have had those babies vaccinated."


It was just weird. She was so defensive and argumentative about the whole thing. Not to mention she's had 17 years to forget some of the newborn and infant twin challenges.

Oh well, at least the father of the twins was on my side with the desire to sometimes want to chop off our arms or runaway screaming, or drop the babies off with the grandmas and go far far away...

Plus, I finally got my shot and it was free.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Emerson and the Snow...

It started snowing the other day so we decided it was time for Emerson to check out some snow (Eli was sleeping off his Ear infection so no snow for him). She wasn't very impressed.

Her Uncle Dustin jumped in this picture

Her infamous glare. She does this often when she wakes up, takes a bath, and apparently also when she's outside in the snow. She's a funny girl.

Trying to get a smile out of her. She wasn't budging.

And she didn't want to make snow angels. She was pretty upset with me. So thus far I think Emerson might be more of a warm weather baby.

Hopefully it'll snow again once Eli is feeling better and he can check it out.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Christmas 2009

I'm only a little behind on my blogging. I blame: Eli and his ear infection, Emerson and her revolt against sleep in recent days and nights, and writing commitments for school that I kept putting off due to the above things, that I finally wrote and submitted this morning. So now with Eli napping and Emerson only whining a little bit I have a few seconds to reflect on our first christmas as a family of four.

Since we started trying for a baby four years ago I had always envisioned what Christmas would be like with our kids. Last Christmas eve I was 13 weeks pregnant and as I sat in the church pew on Christmas eve 2008 I imagined what this Christmas would be like. Marcus and I dressed for church, each holding one of our babies (they would be 5 months old) the candle light singing of silent night would bring the evening to a close. That's what I imagined absolute perfection.

The reality was slightly different. The babies who were in fact 7 months old were up past bedtime, both were a little restless, both had dirty diapers which required me to leave the sanctuary on multiple occasions to change them, and I stood in the back bouncing a baby for the better part of the evening to keep them quiet. Emerson also decided that she wanted to entertain those sitting in front of and behind us by making faces, blowing spit bubbles and sticking out her tongue. And holding a lit candle with babies who like to grab at everything not such a smart idea, and yet, despite all of that I was content.

No, it wasn't the perfect evening I had envisioned the year before, but I've come to realize that nothing with twins is smooth, nothing is graceful, and everything is a production. But after years of trying and several christmases full of tears and sadness Marcus and I finally had our babies.

Now a review of Christmas in pictures because it's just easier.

Our babies looked adorable for the Christmas eve church service (if I do say so myself)

Emerson & Eli before church

They met their cousin Hannah. Ei didn't want to sit next to her for some reason. He kept pushing her away. (At least that's what it looks like).

All of my siblings and their significant others were home. Except for my brother who is still in Afghanistan, and his wife who was with her family.

Marcus and Emerson.

A family picture before church.

On Christmas morning at Marcus' parents house they also met their cousin Cassandra. (They still haven't mastered the sitting thing).

They tried to open a few presents, and didn't get very far.

Eli and his Grammy (my mom) were tired from all the excitement.

Emerson became a Cavilers fan because of her Auntie Abbey (my sister)

Marcus and his brothers were together for Christmas for the first time since 2003.

It's been a tradition in Marcus' family to get matching Pajamas on Christmas eve. This year we all had matching pajamas and Marcus and his brothers were mostly good sports about putting them on for some pictures. The babies just sort of look like floating heads since they blend in.

Eli & Emerson with their granddad (Marcus' dad).

It was a good Christmas. We're lucky enough to be from the same hometown so we get to see both of our families each time we're in town visiting. I imagine as the babies get older and more aware the christmas season will keep getting better.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Farewell Monroe...

Marcus' basset-hound Monroe died on Tuesday he was 12 years old. Which, according to my vet tech. sister, is incredibly old for a basset hound. Actually what she said was, "Dude, Sadie 8 is old for a Basset-hound, like dying old, he was 12?" (She's 20 ...)


Marcus loved Monroe, and even back in the NICU Marcus used to tell the babies all about his dog, who they would get to meet when when we came home for Christmas. 

Monroe was a strange, strange dog. He was afraid of everything, brooms, water, hoses, water guns, vacuums. He used to find candy in the candy bowls and put it in different corners of the house. In Monroe's mind he was "hiding" this candy from everyone, even though it was in plain view. He also had a path in the backyard that he walked everyday, he walked it so often the grass was worn away. 

I will miss Monroe, because Marcus loved his dog, and I love Marcus. 

I'm glad Marcus got to have him for one more Christmas, and the babies got to "Meet" him. (Through the window). 

Monroe (1997-Dec. 29, 2009)

Marcus, Me & Monroe on our 4th Wedding Anniversary.