Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Today I am thankful for...#7

Small victories! Today I drove, in the snow, by myself and for me this is a victory. Three years ago I started therapy to start working on severe anxiety. At one of my first sessions my doctor asked me to make a list of things that caused me anxiety and rate them on a scale of 1-10. The 10 on my list was driving. The thought that I could ever drive in a city was inconceivable to me.

Over the years I began to take on that list doing small exposure therapy along with talk therapy at my weekly sessions. My first attempts at driving while still living in Connecticut were not altogether successful, but slowly progress was made and I was able to drive down the street.

So this morning when I woke up at 5:45 to get ready for my 6:45AM doctor appointment (an insane hour for an appointment) I was determined to do it on my own. I didn't want Marcus to have to drag the babies out of the house in the cold so early in the morning (although he was willing bless him).

So before I could talk myself out of it I got in the car and started driving across the city. My biggest mistake was choosing a route that took me higher into the mountains. As I climbed higher the snow came down harder and clung to the road. I was terrified and shaking but I got myself to the doctor and back home again.

Victory! I am so grateful for making the decision to start therapy I feel like an entirely different person today than three years ago when my anxiety consumed every aspect of my life. I only wish I sought treatment sooner.


As a side note the doctor I saw today was my new GI to talk about my Crohns. I wasn't satisfied with the care I received from my GI in Connecticut but I really like this new doctor. What they're going to do now is an endoscopy. Basically I swallow a pill that contains a camera and then wear a transmitter on my belt. As the pill travels through my small intestine it will take pictures so they can get a look. Isn't science amazing? I hope they let me see some of the pictures (is that weird) but I find the whole process kind of fascinating. I'm also just grateful that we're not doing a repeat colonoscopy at the moment. Good lord the prep for that was a miserable experience.

I also discovered that I'm an idiot. When I was diagnosed in May I was prescribed a medication. Since then I've read the bottle to take 1 pill 3 times a day. When I mentioned this to the doctor today he said that didn't seem like anything and immediately upped my dose.

So I can home today and re-read the bottle. Turns out for the last 5 months I should have been taking 3 pills 3 times a day. So instead of 3 pills I should have been taking 9. No wonder my symptoms haven't gone away. Me = huge idiot.

1 comment:

~Jess said...

At least you weren't taking too much.

That's great that you drove in the snow: Small victories.