I was nominated...

Twice actually. Once by Jess at Life in the White House a good friend of mine. We "met" a few years ago when going through IF and she's been a great resource and friend and she now has an adorable little girl. I was also nominated by The family vowel another on-line friend. We both have twins and discovered a few years ago that we went to the same undergrad. university. Thank you both so much! 

The RULES:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.

2. Copy the award and paste it to your blog.

3. Tell us 7 interesting facts about yourself.

Now I suppose I need to tell you 7 interesting facts about myself.

1. I can do a lot of weird tricks with my tongue and it's really long. When I'm nervous or thinking I do these tricks without realizing it. It drives Marcus crazy. This is pretty much my only hidden, random talent. The babies seem to have both inherited this trait from me and they both play with their tongues and Eli can already twist his tongue over. I'm so proud. 

2. I can't do hair. I'm a mess in this department. My mom did my hair until the 8th grade when I attempted to take over. There were many awkward times that year and the years moving forward. I still can't use a curling iron or a straightener and I feel so bad for Emerson because there's going to be a lot of learning going on with hair styles. I tried a little pony tail in her hair for the first time today. *sigh* it was a good effort. 

3. I wear running shoes 99% of the time. This is mostly because I have orthotics that only really fit in running shoes. If I don't wear the orthotics I'm in a ton of pain due to some ankle issues that have plagued me my entire life. I'm worried about starting a "real" job when professional attire will be important. I also feel sad that I can't wear cute skirts and dresses because I don't have any shoes that work with them.

4. I am one of the pickiest eaters in the world. And I say this with no amount of pride. It's a constant source of frustration and embarrassment. 

5. My first job was at a laundromat when I was 16. I had to clean the machines, keep an eye on things and people would drop of clothes for our wash, dry, fold service. Only problem I had never done any laundry until this job, I called my mom often and only destroyed a few things. I also encountered some of the most random people ever, including my very own stalker who was convinced that he was my boyfriend. I also met a man who claimed to be my father. Apparently, he sent his spirit out to women all over the world (like God and the virgin Mary, this is what he told me) and now he was searching for his children, and lucky me I was one of them. I have countless random stories from my days at the laundromat. 

6. For most of my life I wanted to be a lawyer. In 5th grade I followed the O.J. Simpson saga with great interest and own most of the books that came from that event. Including the books from lawyers on both sides, detectives and the books written by the victims families. (I was a weird kid). 

7. When I was little I loved and collected small, tiny objects. Rocks, flowers, tiny teddy bears the size of a quarter, and a million other things. I carried these things around with and from this habit my Papa gave me the nickname pack-rat which he still calls me to this day. He now calls Eli & Emerson baby Pack-Rats. 

Why I have the most amazing friends...

I am so very blessed with such an amazing group of friends. They truly have become my family over here and I literally could not do all that I do without their help.

Today I had a couple of friends over for a study group (these two friends also baby-sit on a regular basis) and when Emerson saw them she immediately started crying and put her arms up so I would pick her up. She thought their appearance meant I was going to leave crazy kid. Once she realized I was staying she played in her high chair  and played with a piece of paper, smiling, to help us study.

Anyways that was a random side note, back on topic, but one of these friends turned to me and asked, "When we're baby-sitting and the babies are napping what else can we do to help? Do you want us to do dishes or clean or something?"

I was slightly astounded and then I laughed and assured her that her willingness to baby-sit twins for free (one of which screams the entire time because she has separation anxiety) is more than enough. The list I left for her was, read, watch tv, do your homework or take a nap and thank the lord that they're both sleeping that's what I do.

I also got a text last night from another friend who asked, "What are you doing March 15th? Can you get away?" Apparently, as a surprise to me she bought tickets and she's taking me to a Carrie Underwood concert. We share a love of country music (a rarity in these parts) and we've been talking about going to concert for the past three years.

I really love my friends. They keep me sane in the midst of my exhaustion and chaos so very blessed.

We're in trouble...

Eli isn't quite crawling. But he has learned how to move forward with purpose and direction. He does a weird push with his legs and then push with arms. It's crazy and he keeps getting faster and he's now into everything. Among his favorite are any kind of cord. I keep having to fish him out from underneath the table where he's urgently attempting to grab at the lamp cords, the computer charger cord and anything else that's underneath there. His other favorite trick is to scoot over to his sister and take whatever toy she has in her hands away from her. He's crazy, funny, and it without a doubt keeps us on our toes.

I am so over the sleep issues...

Last night Emerson slept through the night and Eli did what Emerson did the previous night. Cried and whined all night long. I cannot function like this. Literally, cannot function. I am so exhausted and stressed out. I just need them to sleep without all the drama. I thought it was suppose to be getting easier or something.

A very, very, very bad night...

The night started off promising the babies went to bed semi-okay and Marcus and I, exhausted, went to bed at 8:00. It was all down hill from there. Not to long after finally getting Emerson asleep in her crib she woke up crying. So Marcus got up and rocked her, tried to feed her a little more, laid her down, then more screaming. Repeat this cycle all night long. At 10 I got up and took her from Marcus so Marcus could lay down and after trying all of my tricks to get her to sleep in her crib I gave up and brought her to bed with me. Which I hate doing but my exhaustion was winning out. She did finally fall asleep in bed with us but I can't sleep with her in there with me because I'm too paranoid so after a few hours of listening to her sleep next to me Marcus picked her up and tried laying her down into her crib.

As soon a she was in the crib she woke up and starting screaming. So I was up once again and took her into the living room where I sat and rocked her and then eventually put her in the swing. Then I slept on the couch so I could hear her if she needed something. Marcus got up at 7 and came into the living room and sent me back to the bed. The entire night was a nightmare. I don't know what her sudden aversion is to her crib but she really needs to get over it and get over it quickly. I cannot function on the amount of sleep I've been getting (hence the desire to go to bed at 8 last night).

I am so hoping tonight goes better. (Marcus and I both skipped class today because neither of us is functioning very well today).

Where's Eli...

Eli can only move backwards and he now moves backwards on both his back and his belly and somehow he always seems to end up underneath the couch...

Dec. 2009

Feb. 2010

My day...

1 crazy active boy + one sick crying, coughing, wants to be held all the time girl + me with a migraine = Marcus calling into work so my head literally didn't explode because that's how it's felt.

I barely made it through the morning while Marcus was in class and about 30 minutes before Marcus came home I was at a breaking point. I put Eli in his crib and Emerson in the swing and laid down with a pillow over my head and tried not to move because any light or movement was too much for me to take.

I am so thankful that Marcus at this stage in life has some flexability and stayed home when he found me in the above position after his classes. He called in, gave me some medicine and sent me to the room where I slept without moving for the next three hours.

I felt a little better after that and pulled myself out of bed and attempted to do some homework and then went to class. I need a real vacation from everything. No internship, no papers, no worrying about/searching/applying for jobs, no sick crying babies, no laundry, no dishes, no leg aches, no migraines, nothing. I just need a day of nothing except quiet with a few of my books. It has come to my attention that I think I may have over committed myself this semester.

I had kind of an awkward day today...

which shouldn't be a huge surprise because awkwardness seems to follow me. It started this morning when I was running late for church (yet again) and ran out to go to the parking lot to get our car.

In order to reach the car there's a slight dirt incline leading up to the parking lot. Normally it's no big deal to climb up this incline and save time instead of having to walk all the way around. The thing is it snowed last week, and then the sun came out, and now that once solid patch of dirt, it a huge slippery, slope, of mud.

This was quickly apparent as I stepped on the dirt/mud, but instead of retreating I decided it would be a better idea to continue to fight the mud, in my church clothes, with my bag/books, and keys in hand. I'm a thinker. I slipped over and over and over and eventually ended up bear crawling up the side of the muddy hill on my feet and hands, desperately trying to get traction, maintain a little bit of composure and not fall all the way into the mud. I felt like I was a cartoon characters my feet where moving fast but I was getting no where, mud was flying behind me, as I just sunk deeper and deeper.

Mud covered my shoes, hands, and keys and filled my bag and covered my book. Then not thinking I stuck muddy keys into my car door (which isn't a good idea) and still not learning once I got back down to my building I stuck muddy keys into our buildings door which then filled the key hole with mud, preventing the key from turning.

 This is what I get for trying to save two minutes by going up the mud instead of just walking around. Note to self with there's mud don't fight it, just turn around and give up. I am so hoping nobody witnessed my ridiculous display as I attempted to crawl up a two foot hill of mud.

Marcus contribution was to laugh, as I returned from the parking lot a muddy mess and say, "I told you to just go around." Yes, yes you did. Maybe next time I'll listen.

9 months (I'm only 12 days late)...

Eli and Emerson are 9 months old (As of 2/8) but we've been busy so I haven't had a chance to write about it. Plus they just had their 9 month appointment on thursday. My babies are getting big,

Eli- 19lbs
Emerson 17lbs 4oz

Everything looked good at their appointment. Their pedi is satisfied with their progress and I love that she always keeps their prematurity in mind when talking about what they're doing/should be doing. She did mention that she would like Eli to be evaluated with an OT for his continued resistance to any kind of solids. She also laughed at how different the two of them are.

Emerson clung to me the entire time and Eli was grabbing at the doctors stethoscope and jumping around. When she was examining him he started laughing because it tickled, and she too finds his backbends hilarious and unusual.

Getting a picture of the two of them...

Is getting to be a little bit....

Impossible.

Finally.

They both really love Marcus' stethoscope. It was no wonder Eli tried to steal the doctors.

Eli at 9 months:

• Can sit unassisted for 5-10 min.
• Gets on his knees and rocks (hasn't figured out where to go yet)
• Has on tiny tooth that just poked through his gums
• Hates solids
• Loves his bottles
• Loves people and attention
• Backbends are getting bigger and higher, we're pretty sure he's going to break his neck
• Loves to jump over and over 
• Babbles and says dadadadad but there's no association 
• Yells to get peoples attention so he can smile and clap for them

Emerson at 9 months:

• Can finally roll onto her tummy (although it's really awkward looking)
• Is having some a lot of stranger anxiety 
• Loves to study pretty much anything (Tags are still among her favorite)
• Will eat solids
• babbles and says dadadadadd (no association for her either)
• Loves to be held and holds up her arms so we'll pick her up
• Gives us hugs every time we pick her up
• Will smile at people as long as they don't talk to her. 
• Require alone time and quiet time. 

To sum up the personalities of my children...

Eli always wants to be the center of attention, wanting everyone to look and pay attention to him. And Emerson in the background just wanting some quiet time, and to be left alone. She's shy just like her dad. It will be interesting to see how they continue to develop. 

The day after...

we made it home and we're all exhausted. We all slept in until 9:30 which is unheard of for the babies and I only woke up at 9 because my friend was knocking on the door (I forgot that she was dropping a book off for me). Marcus skipped his morning class and the babies basically napped all day long. At one point Emerson took a four hour nap. My poor tired babies.

I also for the first ever since having babies was able to do the whole, "nap while the babies are napping" thing. It's never really worked before because they don't usually nap at the same time. I was attempting to do some reading while the babies were napping and instead woke up an hour later sleeping on top of my book.

I also didn't go to my afternoon class but that's more the result of not having a baby-sitter since he was sick this morning.  But I honestly didn't mind having an excuse to stay in out of the snow.

Overall it was just kind of a lazy day. Tons of snow and lots of napping babies who just whined when they were awake. They did so amazing on the trip all things considering, but I'm so happy we don't have any plane rides in the near future.

It's snowing in Pittsburgh...

and I praying, hoping, wishing, crossing my fingers that we do not get stuck here for the night. We're so close to being home and after the ridiculousness of a cross-country weekend trip with two 9 months old that included 7 different airports and two hotel rooms I just need to be home. I'm glad we made the effort, I wanted to be there for my sisters wedding, and we made it and it was beautiful and she was so excited we made it, but I'm over this flying thing. No more snow, no more airports, no more hotel rooms, and no more conversations with strangers about twins.  

Just in case you were wondering when flying across the country with twins one may encounter: 

1.) One man who has a twin sister and also younger siblings who are also b/g twins, plus an extra surprise 5th baby even though his dad was suppose to have had the big V. 

2.) A man sitting next to me on the plane with two year old twin boys who was incredibly kind when Eli was kicking and yelling at him for some attention. 

3.) A man in North Carolina with 26 year old twin boys. 

4.) A woman at Chili's in Phoenix who has a twin sister, and is the mother of two kids who are 18 months apart. She thinks that I have it easier, I think she's nuts, but I just smiled and nodded and said okay. 

5.) Another man a Chili's who is the father of 17 year old twin boys who were sitting at the table with him. I got to see photos of the boys when they were 2 and then their recent 17 year old pictures. Not sure what to say when looking at photos of two 17 year old boys. Saying, "how cute" seems inappropriate so I just smiled and nodded while he kept on talking. 

6.) A man in Denver who has 21 year old b/g twins and an extra "accident" baby 18 months younger (the word "accident" is his not mine). 

People tend to over share and talk to us when we're out with the babies. Being in busy airports we got more comments than usual. 

And in addition to all the twin friends we encountered we also got the random questions from people about how we tell them apart. One women suggested that maybe I had put different colored socks on them as a means of identification. I gently informed her that they look nothing alike and weren't even the same sex. 

Fun times. Please let us get home soon.

Deep thoughts at 4:00 am....

Me: You finally gave up on the pillow?

(*Side note marcus hated the pillows at our hotel*)

Marcus: It rolled away.

Me: How could it roll away?

Marcus: To tired to explain.

Me: Ok

Marcus: Thanks for understanding.

**End scene**

3 hours of sleep in North Carolina. We're now awaiting our final flight in Phoenix hanging out with Marcus' brother. Almost there kind of.

Off to the West Coast... by way of North Carolina...

The first stage of our trip went incredibly smoothy. We got to the airport early expecting it to be a madhouse due to all the cancelled flights from the day before, but it was surprisingly empty. Both babies have been delightful moods all day, especially Emerson and neither baby has cried since we left our apartment at 3:30 (it's now almost midnight).

While waiting for our flight Eli got a little restless and attempted to escape from his car seat where we had set him so we could make a bottle. And he tried to get the attention of anyone near us so he could show them something. We also met a man who had a twin sister and then also had another set of twin siblings four years younger than he and his sister. I so pray that two sets of twins is never my reality. God bless that guys mother. 

On the flight we held the babies on our lap and I have to say given any kind of an option I would much rather they have seats. They both did amazing but they are heavy after awhile and it's really awkward to try and make bottles and move in a small airplane seat with a kid in my arms. Marcus was also stuck in a middle seat which is not ideal in even the best of circumstances but is even worse with a wiggly baby in his arm. 

After landing we got our hospitality coupon for a discounted rate on a room (since the airline is the cause of our need for an overnight stay and the shuttle picked us up). Both babies slept briefly on the plane but for the remainder they were both wide eyed taking everything in. 

The funniest thing is when we finally got into our room, both babies just went nuts. It reminded me of when I was younger with my 5 siblings. Whenever we stayed in a hotel we thought it was the greatest adventure ever and we all got hyped up, wanted to jump on the bed, didn't want to sleep, and basically all six of us went crazy. 

I had no idea this behavior manifested itself in infants. When we laid Eli and Emerson in the hotel bed they just went nuts. Laughing, clapping, Eli doing his backbends. It was hysterical and unlike anything either of them have ever done before. They should have been exhausted since it was 10:30 and way past bedtime but they didn't act like it at all.

They're just nuts.

They did eventually calm down and as I type they're both sleeping peacefully. 

Hopefully part II and III of this trip tomorrow will go as well. Especially since we have to get up in 4 hours and do everything again on a longer 5 hour flight. 

(And it's still so strange that we're making a random pit stop in North Carolina in order to get to Nevada. I almost feel like I'm in the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles). 

Stupid Snow...

The Nor'eastern they call Barbara (I still find it so strange that they name snow storms on the east coast) has not been very kind to our travel plans, and for the past two days I have been woken at 6:00 am by airlines informing me that my flights have been cancelled.

My sister is getting married on Saturday in Nevada and we booked our flight long before we knew about Barbara. Tuesday morning we got a call that our flights for Wednesday were cancelled. We expected that and immediately called the airline to reschedule (and after over an hour on hold) they had nothing to offer us until Monday. Meaning we would miss the wedding.

So we frantically searched for flights on another airline which were all crazy expensive and disappearing as soon as we clicked on them. We bought our second set of tickets for Thursday only to wake up this morning to another phone call that those flights were cancelled too.

So back on the phone with the airline. This time we had the nicest woman who spent over an hour trying to figure out a way to get us to the wedding. The flight plan is way less than ideal and includes an overnight stop in North Carolina but desperate times call for desperate measures. She went to the extra effort of helping us find hotels in the area.

So baring any other strange issues we should arrive in Nevada friday evening just in time for the wedding. Wish us luck because this is going to be an exhausting travel experience.

In other snow news we took the babies outside briefly when there was a brief interlude in the snow. Eli had never been in the snow and we wanted to see if he would react better than Emerson and her first snow experience when she glared and screamed her head off.

Emerson did a little better. While not thrilled she didn't cry.

Making snow angels. 

And in usual Eli fashion he loved every second of the snow. He laughed and smiled...

And attempted to do his backbends in the snow.

OT and doctor appointments...(last friday)

I'm a little behind in post this but better late than never I guess. Last Friday Emerson had her first session with an occupational therapist to look into her continued and persistent resistance to bottles. She has been incredibly hard to feed since coming home from the NICU and the problem continues. She just won't eat. She'll eat an ounce or two and then refuses the bottle, she can go hours and hours without eating, and she's just not getting enough ounces in a 24 hour period. The whole cycle is frustrating for everyone involved me, Marcus and Emerson.

We don't force her to eat but she wakes up at night crying because she hasn't eaten all day. She seems to only be hungry at 9pm every night (3 hours past bedtime). While the occupational therapist didn't have any magic solutions I was relieved that I wasn't imagining all the difficulty.

As I started reviewing Emerson's history I was shocked that every single thing we have tried and experienced was common with babies who have similar issues with the bottle. I mentioned that often Marcus will hold up his cell phone while she's eating so she's distracted and doesn't remember that she has a bottle in her mouth. According to the OT that's pretty typical in these cases.

She asked if Emerson puts toys and things in her mouth and the answer to that is no. I've always been fascinated by the fact that Emerson can hold toys/cell-phones/objects and just study them without ever putting them in her mouth. (Eli instantly puts every thing in his mouth).

She also reviewed our eating log. Marcus and I still record the time and amount that each baby eats everyday. We do this for many reasons. 1). It's just easier with our schedules to be able to reference when they last ate. 2). We are of course worried about the amount each of them eats and it became a habit after coming home from the NICU when we were really working to make sure they were eating enough. As it is Emerson still is not eating as much as she needs to.

But I was relieved that when she looked at the log and compared Emerson's eating habits to Eli's the problem was immediately evident. (I always have this strange fear that I'm imagining things or being a worrier for no reason) so it was nice to have my concerns and experience validated.

Then she watched as I tried to feed Emerson. The timing worked out that Emerson hadn't eaten for over 3 hours so she should have been hungry. But in true Emerson fashion she ate an ounce and then refused the rest of the bottle. The OT then wanted me to feed her some solids which was complicated by the fact that Emerson has stranger anxiety and anytime I set her down or put her in the highchair she flipped out. I had to try and feed Emerson oatmeal from my lap. She did a little better with the oatmeal and then the OT watched her play with objects without ever putting them near her mouth. (Maybe this is why we didn't know she was getting teeth she never ever chews on anything and then one day teeth hmm...)

The OT mentioned that many times babies who have been in the NICU and start out with tubes in their mouths sometimes continue to be resistant to things in their mouths. While we will never know if this is the root of the problem it is one explanation. We are also lucky because Emerson will put the bottle in her mouth (most of the time), she just stops eating after an ounce or two usually.

So we were advised to do several things:
1). Play with toys and other objects around her mouth to encourage her to experiment with having other things in her mouth.
2.) Introduce a mesh feeder
3.) Give her more solids if she's not as resistant to eating them in order to get more food into her.

So no huge revelations more validation and some advice. We'll see next week at their 9 month well baby check-up how Emerson's weight gain has been. The OT is coming back in a month to check in on things and see how it's going.

:::
This same day Eli sounded congested, had a little cough, and a runny nose. Marcus and I always fear the worse (RSV or something) and so after talking to a nurse at the pedi. office she decided we should bring him in to have him checked out. The problem with this was:

1.) The OT was literally suppose to arrive any second
2.) Marcus was in class and had our one car

I attempted to explain this too the nurse and asked if we could have an appointment 30 min. later and she   basically yelled at me. "You're telling me that your son is sick and you want to wait? You probably want him seen sooner than later!" OK... I wasn't suggesting we wait a week but I had a woman coming to my home, no car, and Marcus was in class. I wasn't intentionally trying to be difficult and I appreciate that they could get us in so quickly, but geez she made me feel like I was being incredibly irresponsible for needing a later time than 20 min. from the moment of our phone conversation.

So I had to text Marcus and he left class in the middle and literally ran across his campus so he could get home to take Eli. I tried to call the OT and reschedule but as I called she already at at my door, so I couldn't exactly turn her away.

Fun times. So Marcus took Eli, I stayed with Emerson, and we compared notes later. (Another joy of having twins I suppose to many babies/appointments/ without the ability to be in multiple places at the same time).

Eli was mostly fine he has a cold. The doctor told us it wasn't yet in his lungs and to let her know if it got any worse or he started wheezing, so ultimately probably another case of paranoid parents but better safe than sorry.

And then there are the days...

when I feel like anything but a superwoman. Like today. Both babies have colds which they have kindly passed on to me. Luckily so far it mostly just seems to be runny noses (and our pedi. confirmed this for us when we rushed Eli to the doctor Friday in our illness paranoia). But they whine all night long and woke up at four this morning and would not go back to sleep.

So I got up with both of them and went to the living room. I put Eli in the swing and Emerson in the bouncer after they calmed down and laid on the couch. Emerson finally dozed off watching country music videos (we never let them watch TV but at 4 in the morning the music and TV calmed her down I was desperate) and Eli fell asleep in the swing and I eventually fell asleep on the couch. That's where Marcus found the three of us when he got up at 7.

So on just a few hours of sleep Marcus left for school and work and I was alone with two whiney, needy, babies who both just wanted to be held All.Day.Long. Plus I was exhausted and also sick and the three of us had several break downs throughout the day. It was a long, long, long day and reminded me of some of the early days with the babies when breakdowns were a regular occurrence. The day culminated with a meeting with my internship supervisor and committee. I was not in my finest form to say the least.

I'm so exhausted, feel awful, have more work than is humanly possible, the laundry needs to be done, I need to be applying for post-graduation jobs but that requires time, and we're flying home for my sisters wedding in a day in the midst of a snowstorm so we'll probably be stranded somewhere forever with two whiny babies. Then we'll quickly fly back where the work will be waiting, I'll be more behind, more exhausted, and the babies will be whiney and tired from the travel. Awesome.

Sometimes I think I really can't do this.

(And the babies are 9 months old today, but that's a post for another time).

I put my pants on inside out this morning...

I zipped them up, buttoned them, and went about my Sunday morning routine (panicking and preparing things for church, and the study I'm leading, last minute).

I was finishing my hair when Marcus walked by and starting laughing, "Are your pants on inside out?"

"No...(*looking in the mirror*) they're fine... oh wait, crap they are."

Thank goodness for laughing, observant husbands. I can only imagine how embarrassing it would have been to stand up before the congregation with my pants on inside out. I'm still not sure how I managed to button and zip them without noticing. Perhaps more sleep is in order.

Random thoughts...

*Both babies have runny noses, I'm trying to remain calm.

*I think Eli is teething a lot these days, but what do I know? Emerson had two teeth one day and we never noticed anything prior to that.

*Emerson did much better with her baby-sitters today. The second time I left for class she didn't cry at all.

*I still hate solids and so does Eli, Emerson still loves them and the bigger the mess the better. She started crying today when I wiped her high chair because she has fun playing in the food.

*Emerson in laying in bed awake..."talking" to herself. She talks a lot these days.

*We're having tacos for dinner I'd really rather have soup.

*My body hurts I think it's a fibro. flare up. Awesome.

*I need to go to NJ to do some research but I have no time.

*I need to apply for jobs, but I also have no time to do that.

*We're leaving to go back to Nevada next week for my sisters wedding and I still haven't unpacked my bag from our last trip (shhhh... don't tell anyone. Everyone elses bags are unpacked).

*I'm over living in an apartment, especially on the second floor.

*I'm reading a book for fun instead of the hundreds of pages I need to read for class.

*When I walk in the door after class Emerson always puts her arms up and reaches for me, then she gives me a tight squeeze each time like she's hugging me. I love this about her. I love that she knows that I'm her mom.

*I'm tired of being tired.

Emerson's first solo PT...

In december at their six month physical therapy review it was decided that because Emerson wasn't even meeting her adjusted goals she would start having PT twice a month and Eli would stay with just once a month.

Last Friday was her first solo PT appointment and the first part of it worked out great because Eli was sleeping and I was able to devote my entire attention to Emerson and the exercises that she needed to work on. It's such a rare treat to be able to give them one-on-one attention. This was also useful because Emerson is still having a hard time with anyone other than me and Marcus, so I was holding her a lot and going through the exercises at the direction of the PT.

Eli woke up about half-way through and he didn't know that it was just for Emerson so he set off doing every single thing he knows how to do. He's such a funny little show off. He would make noise trying to get the PT's attention and then when she would look he would smile and do a push-up or backbend or some other crazy trick that he's doing these days.

Eli was also useful because when Emerson was freaking out and wouldn't calm down the PT used Eli as a model to demostrate the different exercises that we need to work with Emerson on. He was thrilled with this position and did everything perfectly and in perfect form. (He's a little showboat).

After the PT left Emerson calmed down enough and we did some of the tummy time together.

Please excuse my awkwardness (The PT has much longer legs and did this with much more ease and comfort).

Working hard on her neck muscles.

She's looking up high because she caught sight of her dad who is her favorite person in the whole world.

And then she got tired and decided she would lick the ball instead.

When the physical therapist isn't present she seems to enjoy the exercises on the ball (and Eli loves them too). 

A few minutes ago...

Eli woke up from his nap and was "talking" loudly on the floor like he often does. Although I have no idea what the boy babbles about Emerson thought it was hilarious and she kept looking at him and giggling.

These are the moments when having twins is really fun.

Some days I feel like a superwoman...

today was one of those days. I successfully got myself and both babies dressed, fed, bathed and ready to leave the house by 10:00 am and I did it all by myself. Plus I carried them both down our flights of stairs, a baby under each arm (literally), all the while praying that Eli wouldn't take that moment to launch himself out by doing his weird backbend, jumping, push-up routine. Luckily he contained himself.

I then awkwardly got the babies out from under my arms into their stroller and didn't drop either of them (huge relief). Made it out the door, (barely thank goodness for a kind man who saw my ridiculousness and jogged over to hold the door for me) up the hill, and into my school.

And then I was exhausted, out of breath, and sweating and wanted to go home and sleep...

But I pushed on and the three of us made it upstairs to the chapel so we could hear my good friend D preach (Emerson's godparent). I then successfully handled both babies during the service, and they were amazingly adorable, making cute baby noises during the moment of silence (which a professor of mine later told me was her favorite moment). And Eli is now famous as he assisted D with the benediction, Eli does love being the center of attention.

Yes today I am a superwoman... out of the house and back. (Which to many may not seem like much, but to me it really is).

So tired of the comments...

I spent my pregnancy dealing with ridiculous comments and questions, I now face the random weird twin questions and stares from people, but I am so tired of the questions regarding my judgment about having children.

I ran into my former boss (from my first year of grad. school). She was talking to me about how she hadn't met the babies yet, how old they were, basic things like that. But then she asked the dreaded, annoying, none of your business question. "So was this a surprise."

At this point my standard answer is always, "Just the twin part." That's the best I can come up with. She either didn't get what I was saying or wasn't listening because she then followed it up this lovely gem.

"When I heard you were pregnant all I thought was, what were you thinking. But these things happen all the time."

Okay. What the hell? I so badly wanted to tell her that my babies were more than planned and that it's insulting to assume and question the judgment of a grown woman about when and how she and her partner chose to have a family.

I don't understand why being a female grad student means that I shouldn't have children (none of my male classmates with children have encountered this problem). I was employed as was my husband, I have amazing insurance which paid for everything 100%, and in many ways being a grad. student allows me flexibility with my schedule and with child care.

Is it easy? No of course not but having twins is never easy but no one can tell me that it would have been any easier once I graduated and was working a full time job. My months of bedrest would have been complicated with my job instead of school, I would need child-care for 8 plus hours a day instead of the few hours when I have class and I would still have work to do in the evening.

I'm just annoyed with peoples inability to maintain any amount of common decency. I am a smart educated woman, married to a smart educated man and together we made the decision to have a family at this point in our lives and frankly that is nobodies business.

There now I feel a little better.