31 Weeks

I am so grateful to make it another week. I've had a fair amount of contractions this week resulting in a lot of monitoring time, but the babies are still doing great and seem pretty unaffected by all of the contraction business. I've also been able to avoid the IV. Each time I contract for several hours they bring it up as a possibility, but I am drinking so much water in an effort to combat that option. If I'm not dehydrated (which I never am) then there's no need for the IV, at least that's my current logic. One of the nurses picked up on this and commented that, "I drink more water than anyone she's ever seen." Part of this I think is carry over from my running days. Staying hydrated has become somewhat second nature and now that it's so important for the babies I have no problem drinking without cessation if necessary.

This week they also decided to test me for UTI to see if that was possibly causing my contractions (even though I had zero symptoms). They started to treat it for a few days with an antibiotic that needed to be taken four times a day (I love being woken in the middle of the night) luckily that only lasted for a few days because just as I suspected no UTI for me. My blood pressure has also been incredibly low lately which is in part probably related to the procardia. Once it was too low for me to even take the procardia at the necessary time, and the low blood pressure is causing dizziness, which makes all the trips to the bathroom extra precarious.

On Tuesday I felt awful and ended up getting really dizzy and throwing up. When the doctor found out his lovely advice was next time I feel dizzy don't get up. I then asked if he expected me to just throw up all over myself because that was the alternative to not getting up to go to the bathroom. I see his point passing out would be bad, but come on... he did bring me a bucket in case there was a next time. Being in the hospital is so glamourous, with the gowns, people bothering me at all hours despite my need for rest, and the lovely conversations about throwing up on myself. Blah...

I've also had a few other visits this week. An anthesiologist came to talk to me about the risks related to my bleeding disorder and giving birth. He confirmed for the millionth time that I would receive the DDAVP just as I have before every surgery, but then he listed all the things that could go wrong. Paralysis related to excess bleeding and pressure on the spine, the need for a hysterectomy if they couldn't control the bleeding and all kinds of other fun things. He was a little bit void of personality and just listed all of this information without blinking or even pausing for a breath.

I also met with the nutritionist yesterday. According to my weigh in yesterday I still haven't gained any weight and I'm getting concerned about this. She offered some advice and I'm attempting to drink ensure for extra calories even though it's awful.

I think that's pretty much the excitement of the last week (oh and I wrote a paper for school) when I emailed to my professor he mentioned being impressed with my ability to write and turn in the paper on time, while pregnant with twins in the hospital, my thoughts were he should probably suspend his amazement until after he's actually read the paper. I'm pretty sure it's not my finest work. One more paper to write for the semester.

Anyways, I'm still pregnant, still in the hospital, still on bedrest and I officially have no more muscle mass. I tried to flex my calf muscle yesterday it was pretty pathetic I guess 4 weeks of laying around will do that to a person.

Belly pics.

Parenting Lessons (Kind of)

Today I had a visit from a woman who works for a parenting program at the hospital. I guess it's something offered to all first time moms. The first question the woman asked me was what grade I'm in. I thought about telling her that I was going into the 19th grade but I held back, and once I realized she was serious I just told her I was finishing my second year of graduate school. I wonder how old she thought I was, high school? It's been years since I was asked that question.

During her lesson I learned that babies need car-seats, you should never grill with the baby in your arms, and don't take your kids out of their car-seats while driving, along with some other really obvious advice.

I suppose the sad thing is they have to say this stuff because there are probably parents who do these things. I also got a bag full of paper with information and there's a pen in there for Marcus that says, "Dads are great too". It was pretty pointless over all, and honestly there were moments when I was trying not to laugh. At least it was some mild entertainment to break up the day.

(Today marks 2 weeks in the hospital).

How quickly he forgets...

I asked marcus via text if he thought I could be ready to do a small triathlon in September. His response to me, "Well maybe if you start right now." ummm.... yeah sure no problem. When I reminded him of my current location he just said, "oh yeah, damn" haha I love him. I really am thinking that I could maybe do the triathlon. It's just a little one. .5 mile swim, 5 mile bike, 2 mile run. But then again I have no idea what I am in for with the babies. I just miss being active, as of now I get tired from standing to brush my teeth. I'm afraid at how weak I'm going to be by the end of all this bed rest.

30 weeks!

For some reason 30 weeks seems like a milestone. Maybe it's just because having a baby born sometime in the 30 week range seems better than the 20 week range. I have officially survived over a week of hospital bedrest and I'm still pregnant, which is great news. I happy we made it another week, and even happier that it's been 3 weeks since our positive fFN, and tomorrow will mark 3 weeks of bedrest. I'm hoping the babies stay put for several more.

I however am in a great deal of pain. My back and hips are killing me and it hurts to move or roll over, it's strange how laying around for weeks can take such a toll on the body. Sleeping on my side hurts my hip and back, but sleeping on my back isn't really an option at this point. I'm exhausted and sleeping in a hospital is no easy task even without the back and hip pain, but I would much rather be in pain with the babies inside then for them to have an extended stay in the NICU.

Yesterday, the special care coordinator stopped by for a visit. She was able to give me information about the NICU, how much access Marcus and I would (24 hours), and some of the logistics of all of that. She says if Marcus is intersted they can arrange for someone to take him to the NICU to see how everything works (I don't get to, stuck in my lovely pink room). She also talked about lactation stuff and how all of that would work if the babies were in the NICU, and because she was being optimistic she did talk briefly about the well baby nursery where full term healthy babies go after birth. I don't that will be our situation but it would be so amazing if these babies could stay put for that long. I also asked her about the parking/paying issues and she mentioned talking to a social worker about seeing if there was some kind of long term pass, ( which my aunt also mentioned a few days ago) so we'll be looking into that. Overall it was a helpful visit, and it was nice that some of my questions about how things would work once the babies were born were answered.

I also am so grateful for Marcus. I know all of this is hard for him. He worries about me, he worries about the babies, and he still has to go to school and work and run back and forth from the hospital. In addition he also has the task of running some errands for me. Even though I'm stuck in the hospital there are still so many things I'm responsible for/need to get done. I'm attempting to finish this semester from the hospital (not really sure how successful this attempt will be) and I have two final papers to write. So yesterday Marcus went to the library for me and hunted down a few of the books I need for the paper. He didn't just go once but twice.

An even worse task pertains to my internship. My supervisor required me as part of my internship to read through the organizations archives so I would know the background and history. What these archives consist of are three binders full of newspaper clippings, nothing fancy, but for some reason my supervisor is really protective of them. Since being on bedrest he has called me twice inquiring when I think I might be able to get them back to him. The second time being yesterday. So in order to calm him down I bit, poor Marcus had to take these archives to a random church, interrupt a meeting, and find my supervisor who he has never met and give them back. Marcus is incredibly shy, so when he walked into the meeting, he said everyone stopped talking and stared at him. He was not pleased about the whole thing, but he did it for me. He deserves some sort of award. I am happy that he is finally listening to me and sleeping at home. I know he feels guilty leaving but it's best for him to get some rest, and some time away from this place.

I can't wait until all of this stuff in behind us so we can go back to having some sort of a normal routine and life.

In final bedrest news I was weighed yesterday. On the hospital bed which is kind of odd, but according to the bed I have lost two pounds since last weeks doctors appoint. I know the difference is probably due the fact that one is a scale that I stand on and one is the bed, but I'm still a little worried about my weight gain since there hasn't been a whole lot in the last month. I plan on asking the doctor when they come around if I should be concerned.

30 weeks. They look pretty much like last week, except no IV.

Not so fun...

Yesterday sucked. Around 11 am I started having some mild cramping, dizziness, and nausea. Which prompted another million hours on the monitor. Luckily, I wasn't contracting at this point I just felt awful and spent most of the day napping. Later that night I started feeling a few contractions and the monitors showed I was contracting every 5 minutes. Which is what I was afraid of for several reasons.

The first obviously I don't want to contract at this point. But the second reason is I knew that if I started contracting again they would have to give me an IV again. My previous IV was removed on Sunday evening because it expired and I begged not to have another put it. It complicates every aspect of hospital living. I have to drag the IV pole with me to the bathroom, they make me pee into a bucket so they can monitor the fact that I'm expelling as much as they are pumping in (which is so disgusting), and they cover my hand in a glove with tape for showering, which makes showering impossible, not to mention it just hurts. Sunday when they removed it I was so happy it's a small thing that makes a huge difference in my comfort at the hospital.

Of course that happiness was short lived because of the stupid contractions. The first nurse attempted an IV and hit a valve or something. No blood was coming out, no fluid was moving in. This didn't stop her from trying for a while though all the while a giant bruise was forming on my arm. Since that didn't work she found another nurse to try again, and this nurse in a different spot also hit a valve. So same problem as above. At this point I lost it and started crying (which is so embarrassing), but the second nurse was really rude, as though the failed IV's were my fault, I was exhausted, my arm was now bruised and killing me, and I was over the whole experience.

Then a miraculous thing happened. In the process of trying to find a a third nurse to attempt an IV, my contractions stopped. Previously they were 5 minutes apart for the last 3 hours and they just stopped. So between my begging not to have an IV, and the nurses exasperation at trying to get one started they all decided just to let it be.

My arm looks awful. It's bruised on my hand from the original IV from when I was admitted, the mark from my IV two weeks ago is still visible, I have two huge bruises from the failed attempts, and they drew my labs from the same arm this morning.

I was unfortunately contracting again this morning, but after about 3 hours they slowed again, so I'm still IV free for the moment.

29w2d

I missed posting on the actual day I reached 29 weeks because I didn't get any sleep the night before and was in no position to try and string together a coherent sentence. As of now everything seems to be stable. I still have some contractions here and there but nothing like I was having on Wednesday when I was admitted and that's pretty much all I know.

My doctors check in everyday to remind me that I'll be here until I'll deliver (in case I had forgotten or something) in fact on doctor kept saying over and over "you have no cervix so what are we going to do? We have to keep you here?' in his Boston east coast accent (he likes to talk a lot Marcus and I get a big kick out of him he's kind of old school and carries around these 3x5 index cards with all his notes on them). Mostly though I lay here trying not to dwell on the possibilities and instead focus on making it a few more weeks (perhaps my special focusing powers will keep the babies in, it's worth a shot).

Marcus and I are still figuring out how to make the logistics of the hospital stay work. We discovered from my last stay at the hospital that he absolutely cannot park here all the time. To stay overnight the parking is $18 and the hourly rate isn't much better. Even the valet is $10 each time with $10 added at midnight. So Marcus has been taking my school's free transit bus from our apartment to the hospital since the hospital is right next to the med. school and on the route. Unfortunately, the transit stops running pretty early so in order for Marcus to get home we either have to call one of my friends (who have all graciously offered up their services) or call my grad. school's security and have them transport Marcus (which is what he did this morning). It's a pain and takes a lot longer but saves a ton of money and Marcus as of now is pretty easy going about the transportation thing.

In other exciting news I learned that I'm negative for group B strep so I won't need antibiotics when I deliver, and that's pretty much where we're at these days. Although I do have to say I feel so utterly unprepared for the arrival of these babies. Nothing is finished, we haven't really bought much in the way of immediate needs and care for both me and the babies. Nurses keep asking me if I want a vaginal delivery and to me the question is so far from my mind right now. Maybe that's what they call denial but I always look at them like their crazy and answer that I'll do whatever the occasion calls for. I don't really think I have the liberty of making any kind of birth plans at the moment.

I'm also trying to work through some of my disappointment. Obviously the most important thing is that these babies are healthy and stay put for as long as possible, and i'll do everything required of me to make that happen. But I'm really sad that I don't get to have maternity pictures taken (which i know is kind of stupid) but I love them, and I've been planning them since before I was pregnant.

I have a friend who's a photographer and she is always looking for new things to add to her portfolio and since she doesn't have any maternity pictures would have done them for virtually nothing. I had also picked the locations. I wanted all the pictures to be outdoors, some by the ocean, and some in this park close to our apt. with all the trees blooming in the spring. I had even worked out what Marcus and I would wear. Oh, well. Nothing I can do about it now. We'll just have to get some nice outdoor family pics. once the babies arrive, but there's a small part of me that knows that this could be my first and last pregnancy and I'm sad that I don't get to experience it in a 'normal' way.

And today also marks two weeks since the positive fFN, and two weeks of bedrest. Hang in there babies for several more weeks.

That's it from now. Hopefully, my blogs will continue to be uneventful for several more weeks as I lay around the hospital, and I can't believe I'm going to post these pictures, but I did take some 29 week belly pics on Thursday. Hospital gown, IV, and all the non-cuteness that goes along with being in the hospital.

Cervix check turned hospital admittance

So this day didn't go at all how we wanted. Our appointment with MFM was at 1:00 and when they checked my cervix it had shortened even more, down to about .4, or as the doctor said it's pretty much immeasurable at this point. They decided to do the growth scan today as well even though that wasn't scheduled until next Monday,

Our baby boy is 2lbs 12oz and our little girl is 2lbs 8oz. After the growth scan they put me on the monitors to see if I was contracting and of course I was, so they shipped me off to Labor and delivery. Where there was more monitoring and more contractions. The doctor told me that he was admitting me to the hospital because my cervix basically doesn't exist anymore and if/when I deliver the babies will need immediate attention. He also told me I would more than likely be here for the duration of the pregnancy however long that turns out to be. Hopefully several more weeks.

So here I am in the hospital, still on the monitors, still contracting and still just taking all of this day by day. Hoping for more several more weeks.

OB appointment aka the boring appointment

OB appointments at this point are kind of useless. The OB even conceded that their office was no longer calling the shots and they wait to get the reports on what my care should be from the MFM, so basically this appointment was just to see if I've gained weight, measure my fundal height, as I remind the doctor the events and measurements from the hospital and from MFM.

As far as weight gain not a whole lot of that happening which I find a little concerning even though I have read that it sometimes slows with twins. Since my last OB appointment three weeks ago I've only gained 2 pounds. So I'm up a total of 30. I asked the doctor if I should be worried about this but he seemed to think it was okay. Also I'm still only measuring 34 weeks, which is what I measuring 3 weeks again. So now I'm worried the babies aren't growing or something, and we don't have another growth scan scheduled until the 20th, so another 5 days. Hopefully, they're getting huge and for whatever reason I'm not exhibiting that trend physically.

I also asked my doctor about NICU time, and told me that usually at the hospital where I'm delivering they typically keep any babies born before 36 weeks until they would have been 36 weeks. So if our babies were born at 30 weeks they could be facing at least 6 weeks of NICU time. So little babies you are not allowed to exit anytime soon. Also the doppler picked up our little girl in a different spot, and the doctor asked if they were both head down. They weren't as of last week, but I'll be curious to see on the ultrasound today where our little girl is currently located. She has a tendency to wander around in there, she's kind of a pain in the butt actually which both Marcus and I find endearing. The doctors are less amused by her though, she's really difficult to monitor, because she won't stay on it, and of course refuses any face shots at ultrasounds.

Aside from that nothing exciting. Although there's a nurse at my OB's office that I find so obnoxious. She always asks personal questions and she's a little to touchy for my liking. For example every time I encounter her she grabs my hand to look at my wedding ring. Every single time. Today she crossed a whole new line when she began to touch my stomach and comment on whether she was feeling a head or something. It was creepy.

She also seemed to have missed the memo that I was having twins, and when I told her she leaned in and whispered, "Did you do invitro?" I answered truthfully that we hadn't, but then because of her follow up question I told her we did IUI, to which her response was, "At least your not having 10." Awesome, totally professional. Then for good measure I also threw in that twins run in my family (because they do) and then she was all confused about the source of my babies, I'm not sure why she thought it was her business to figure it out.

Now we wait a few hours for the MFM where we'll actually get a real idea of what's going on. I'm praying that my cervix has held steady, no changes, no shortening, and especially no dilation.

hmm...

So one of the warning labels for some of the medication I'm taking says,

Progesterone can cause side effects that may impair your thinking or reactions. Be careful if you drive or do anything that requires you to be awake and alert.

This could explain some of the non-sense I've been writing. I'm a little afraid to turn in my assignments, maybe I should send that disclaimer with the papers.

Easter Sunday

One week and one day since our positive fFN and the babies are still where they should be. Here's hoping for many more weeks. It's a little surreal that it's Easter, I suppose because I can't leave the apartment, which means no church, which is pretty much what Easter is about. Marcus is at work, I'm on the couch doing homework oh and I'm sick. Despite Marcus' best efforts not to get me sick I woke up this morning with a sinus headache and sinus pain. It's extra fun to have to lay down when you can't breath or take any medication to help with the issue. Happy Easter to us.

Some friends are coming over later and bringing Easter dinner with them, as much as I love their company and support it's really hard for me to have so many people descend on my home and not be able to control things. Because of the circumstances they help themselves to the things in the kitchen, which is fine and necessary but it causes me anxiety. I wish I didn't have such issues but I do. Blah...

28w 1d

There's really not much to say that hasn't already been written about this week. Sucky week full of bad news. I don't really even have the energy to try and find something to say. I'm still on bed rest, I'm worried and scared, and I'm feeling a little bit cheated. This isn't how my pregnancy was suppose to be. I canceled our child birth classes that I signed up for a few months ago. I was concerned when I signed up for them that we wouldn't ever actually get to go and unfortunately that came true.

My friends have been great. On wednesday they all came over and brought us dinner, they came over again today and we watched a movie and had lunch, and they're also coming over on friday and bringing easter dinner to us. My professors have also been accommodating but I hate not being able to go to class. I almost never miss class. As an ungrad. I only missed one class in four years and my attendance record in grad school is somewhat similar (with a few more missed classes). I'm trying to stay positive and get my school work done, it's not really working.

Here's hoping we make it another week.

I do have a belly pic. it's horrible. I'm in sweats and a t-shirt my standard bed rest apparel.

Cervix check = I'm really scared

More bad news. I had a cervix check this morning with the MFM and my cervix continues to disappear. On Friday at the hospital it was between 1.6-2.0 cm now a mere 5 days later it's between .7-.9 cm which is pretty much nothing. I could tell immediately during the scan that it was shorter because I couldn't really even see the cervix any more, and our little boy is right there just waiting to make an exit.

I'm so scared. According to the doctor there's really no question that I will go pre-term it's just a matter of when. It could literally be any day, and as she put it, "Each day I'm still pregnant is a good thing." I left the office in tears. I'm trying to stay calm, I know that the doctors have done everything they can do, the babies have the steroid shots, but they're still too tiny. The thought that these babies could be born any time soon is almost too much for me to think about right now. I wish I knew why this was happening. If it was something I did, if my body just sucks and doesn't like being pregnant.

I'm praying that we get several more weeks, but if my cervix continues to disappear at this same rate and with the positive fFN I'm not very optimistic. We have another cervix check in the week. I really really hope we make it to that appointment.

I'm home

The doctors were able to stabilize the contractions with the medication and so I was released from the hospital this morning. That's the good news. In the not so good news I'm now on complete bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy, and will continue the medication from home. I can only leave my apartment for doctors appointments and can only really get up to go to the bathroom and shower. I'm still working out all the details of my life and trying to figure out school and internship stuff. Mostly we just want these babies to stay put for many more weeks. I'm so so happy to be out of the hospital though.

Doctor update and random hospital musings...

The doctor this morning seemed hopeful with the current state of things. I was given the second steroid shot at 3 am (not a nice way to be woken up, but it was for a good cause). The nurse was very kind and didn't hook me up to the monitors at that point because she knew that I had only slept an hour the previous 24 hours and my body was finally allowing me some much needed rest. At 5 am the monitors were hooked back up and my crazy babies were nice and calm which made for a much shorter monitoring experience. Both babies were doing well and the contractions were considerably slowed. All very good news.

At 10:00 the doctor came in and informed me that I needed to spend another day in the hospital since the second steroid shot isn't effective until after it's administered so they want to watch me until then. The good news is if I keep responding well to the meds. I get to go home tomorrow and continue the meds. at home. The bad news is I'll be on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy (Which I hope is for many more weeks for the babies). Although I was anticipating some bed rest due to my cervix at some point I really didn't expect all of this. Even friday night I was so confident that the fFN would be negative, and I think some of the reality of all of this is just now starting to hit me. I'm frustrated and worried and a little guilty. I keep going over things in my mind wondering if I could have done something different. Marcus is very sweet though and refused to allow me to think about my own culpability in this. I know realistically that it probably wasn't anything I did or didn't do, I've been diligent in listening to the instructions of my doctors but still I wonder...

Of course the practical side of me is also looking at my calendar at all of the things I need to rearrange in my life. My classes, school work, tests, meetings, assignments, internships both this year and next years, people I need to inform that I'll be captive in my apartment for awhile, wondering about the next few weeks and what it's all going to look like, and above all else praying that the babies stay put for many more weeks.

That's all we know at this point. At the last monitoring at 1:00 the babies were good and I only had a few contractions which I still can't feel so that's good.

Now that I'm done with the medical stuff I just want to record some of the more awkward experiences of my hospital stay.

First I was desperate for a shower. I felt so gross after lying around for a day and was so hoping that I would be allowed to take one. I was elated when I was granted permission but didn't realize the complexities that this shower would entail. Since I'm still hooked up to an IV, the put a latex medical glove over it and then taped the end. I was then given the instructions not to get my left hand wet, and to shower with that arm facing out. Okay... I'll do my best maneuvering in the shower, not getting wet, and pulling the IV carrier thing with me.

Showering with one hand is difficult enough but this was further complicated by the fact that you have to hand hold the water faucet. It's not a regular shower head that you stand under, so this then left me with zero hands, so I was unsure about how to go about actually washing myself. It was an awkward combination of using the water faucet, hanging it up and then trying to wash one handed. Had I know that it would be this impossible I wouldn't have let Marcus go to work until after the shower was over. I did feel a little better afterwards but how clean I actually am is probably up for debate.

The second awkward experience was this afternoon when the PCA (not sure what this stands for) came in to take my stats. When she saw me she said, "You look like your tan." (At least that's what I thought she said). So a little confused I said, "oh. Well I really don't think that I am," Because that's the truth I'm really not tan.

Seeing the confused look on her face at that response it then occurred to me that she had expressed that she thought I looked like I was 10, not tan. Opps... but just for the record I look neither 10 nor tan. I get that I look younger than I am a lot, but not 10.

Here's a not so cute pic. from today. The steroid shots cause me to retain water and I already think my face looks fatter. Oh, well, and I look a little bald but again oh well my hair was wet and out of the way (but you'll notice in the pic my lack of tan haha).

I spoke to soon...

Yesterday I ended my blog on a cheerful note that things would stay stable and all would be well, which was a lovely thought I think. However, not the reality. Around 10 pm I started having some weird back pains. Not the kind that prevents me from walking but some odd cramping that I had not yet experienced, and some pressure on and off in my lower uterus. Since the pain wasn't too bad, and I didn't really want to take a trip to L&D I waited a little bit, but decided after about an hour of pain that since it was a different pain I would just call and ask. Of course the doctor can't tell anything over the phone so around 12:15 off to L&D we went.

Once hooked up to the monitors we discovered I was contracting every few minutes which was kind of scary, since I definitely wasn't feeling the ache in the back the pressure that often. Many times when it showed I was contracting on the monitor I couldn't feel it at all. To help slow the contractions they gave me a shot of terbutaline, did yet another fFN test, and checked my cervix.

My cervix was shorter now measuring 1.6-2.0 (down from the previous 2.1) but it was a positive sign that I wasn't dilating at this point although the continual shrinking cervix isn't really good either, but still better than dilation. The hope was that the doctors could slow the contractions with the medicine, and if the fFN was negative they would send me home. While we waited for the results of the fFN, they gave me another shot of terbutaline since the first didn't quite do it, plus a pill form of something similar to also help with the contractions (starts with a P). I hate the terbutaline it makes me feel like I'm on crack or something jittery and shaking.

Anyway, turned out the fFN this time was positive, which isn't as conclusive as a negative test, but can indicate preterm labor so the doctor wanted to give me the steroid shots to help develop the babies lungs and admit me to the hospital. I had the first steroid shot at 3am and it was by far one of the most painful shots I've ever had it was no joke. They also started an IV at this point, and the doctor began discussing delivery options/concerns/NICU stuff and what it might mean to have our babies at 27 weeks. Not really the conversation I was hoping we would have.

They then moved me from L&D up to Maternal special care and I spent several more hours on the monitors (Which made it impossible to sleep). Finally around 7am they took the monitors off and I was able to sleep for about an hour. As of now things are stable they're still giving me the oral medication, and the doctor told us the first thing we're looking ahead to is making it to the second steroid shot which will take place at 3am in the morning since they're given 24 hours apart. For now I'm stuck in the bed, except to go the bathroom, and Marcus and I are just hanging out in the hospital hoping that we'll be able to go home soon (perhaps tomorrow even), but so far we haven't been given any official word on how long we'll be here. Mostly it will depend on how my body responds to the meds. and if they feel like I'm in a stable enough position to go home. So that's where we're currently at.

At the last monitoring about an hour ago both babies were still doing well and my contractions had slowed which means some of these drugs are working. All hopeful news. We just want the babies to stay in for many more week.



Marcus told me to smile, that's the best I could come up with. I've had one hour of sleep and a lot drugs. Additionally if this doesn't make any sense again I've had an hour of sleep, crazy drugs, and typing with the IV is surprisingly painful.

27w1d...

Since I spent the better part of my week writing papers I'm not really in the mood to post long thought out sentences, so I think I'm just going to use bullet points.

1.) Iowa legalized same-sex marriage today! (Which has nothing to do with my pregnancy it just makes me happy!)

2.) I can no longer sleep. Even if I work on a paper all day and go to be at 4:00 am. No sleep for me.

3.) My back is broken (or something very close to it) thus contributing to the no sleeping, and the inability to walk, stand, sit or move. I must look really pathetic walking to class, I move in slow motion.

4.) I discovered my first stretch mark this week, it hurts, and I'm not pleased with this development *sigh* I'm trying to work through it as I'm sure it's a sign of things to come. As a random side note marcus and I went to a going away party on wednesday and met a plastic surgeon (Who also has a Ph.D in bio-chemistry people at Yale are overachievers especially considering how young he is and he's done with school) . I mentioned to Mark later that maybe he could fix my stomach if I needed it once the babies are born... I was mostly joking. (Apparently I'm vain).

5.) I've outgrown my maternity pants, which I don't really understand. Because the next size is too long and doesn't fit me any where else. GIves me a saggy butt look. I'm also not pleased with this.

6.) My favorite development is discovering that I can use the babies as an excuse not to eat certain food. Yesterday, I went to a woman's house for my internship and she cooked lunch. Being the pickiest eater in the world this always causes me anxiety because I usually don't like the food but don't want to be rude. The first course was carrot and sweet potato soup and I really really tried to eat it, and failed. However, the woman just said, "That's okay you have baby troubles." Which was a light bulb moment for me when I responded "Yes I do these babies don't let me eat a whole lot of anything" The rest of the meal was smooth sailing, refusing food I didn't like and blaming my children. Sorry kids, but thanks for a convenient excuse that's not offensive to people.

7.) I also discovered older women really like to share stories of their own pregnancies. Even if you don't know them or really want to hear it.

8.) Was informed that I looked like I was ready to deliver any day now. When I responded with my due date, the look of shock was not easily disguised. I was also not pleased with this. I'm not that big (I don't think) and I'm having twins, which I told her.

9.) Explained the difference between fraternal and identical twins today, this was a little confused.

10.) More people are just now noticing for the first week, including one of my professors.

11.) Was given parenting advice on how to survive twins (From someone who does not have twins).

12.) Oh and I almost forgot I'm now officially in the third trimester. Yay!

That's pretty much the highlights, if you can even call them that. OB appointment and more cervical checks/fFN tests early next week. Here's hoping everything remains stable.

Belly pics... I don't think I look like I'm ready to give birth... crazy lady.