Some hilarity...

I'm astounded at the number of people at my school who are just now connecting the dots that I'm pregnant. During my internship class yesterday (the 3 hour painful class that it was) I became the topic of conversation on several occasions. First, my friend Eddy, admitted that he was a little embarrassed that he hadn't noticed before, but he responded more appropriately than almost anyone else I've encountered and just said congratulations (what a novel concept to actually congratulate someone on their pregnancy this has not been the normal reaction around here). When I followed up that it was twins he just said, "no sh*t" hilarious.

This then led to Kevin the guy sitting next to Eddy to whisper for confirmation that I was indeed pregnant, to which Eddy and I just laughed. Then Kevin wanted to know if I was aware that I was pregnant when we all traveled to Florida (I was 15 weeks) which prompted more laughter on my part when I explained to Kevin that I had know since October, to which one of my instructors responded, "She probably knew when it happened." There were a few more follow up questions such as why I hadn't told any of them in Florida, and I just explained that it never came up, and nobody asked haha. To which Kevin offered the helpful response, "maybe you didn't want to jinx the baby". Um... sure I'll go with that.

Eventually, class attention shift away from me and we got back to discussing community organizing... that is until I yawned and my supervisor (Who is also one of the instructors) mentioned that I was yawning for three, so it was allowable. Which disrupted the entire class again with this new revelation that I was having twins (only 2 people in the class knew prior that it was twins). Then the questions started again, and included the following... with my responses.

"Was your mom a twin, they skip a generation right?" - That's a myth but I do have twin sisters.
"Are they identical or fraternal." - Fraternal...
"oh so a boy and a girl" - Yes but you can have fraternal twins of the same sex too.
"You're lucky now you can be done having kids." - yes I suppose I could be
"So you've had an ultrasound" - Yes I've had 15 or 16 ultrasounds.
"Why" - I'm high risk
"Why are you high risk" - Um we probably don't need to talk about my medical history.
My favorite from Kevin (he's very interesting) - "That must be why you're only 6 months but you look huge." (and then he used his arms to illustrate just how large I am) --umm.. thanks Kevin that's kind of you (which made my supervisor laugh)
"Actually, I think you look pretty good for carrying two babies." - Thanks
Kevin again, "Can you feel them move yet?" - Yes

Finally, sensing the combination of my annoyance, embarrassment, and amusement my supervisor re-engaged the class stating that now that we know all of Sadie's medical history let's move on. So, so random and kind of amusing too.

Sometimes for attending a school full of intelligent people I'm a little surprised by some of their comments.

****
After class was over I needed to stop by the library to get a few books for the ridiculous paper that I should be writing at this very second (but I'm not) and I only had a few minutes before the library closed. In the basement I found the book I needed but it was on the top shelf, which is normally pretty difficult for me to reach, but somehow with a large belly the task was impossible. Every attempt to grab the book just pushed it further and further away.

Moving into problem solving mode I decided to try and locate a tall person. Unfortunately, because it was 4:40 on a friday the library was deserted. My next plan of action was to drag a chair into the row and reach it that way, but honestly the chairs looked heavy, and the thought of climbing up on a chair seemed like a lot of work. I was going to give up but as I headed out of the library I discovered a stool. So with my arms full of my coat, bag, and books, I somehow hoisted the stool up and made it back to the appropriate location. Of course then as I reached for the book I needed I ended up knocking a few books off the shelf, which I needed to then bend down and retrieve (not an easy task at this point).

At this point my friend Sara who works at the library was making the rounds to let everyone know the library was closing, and when she saw me she just started laughing, and asked if I needed help. But at that point it was too late, I had successfully (and awkwardly) obtained the book in question...

It never occurred to me that the library could be a hazard when pregnant.

I'm trying not to cry...

I'm in so much pain. The walking is and sitting is getting to be too much. I still have a three hour class to sit through and I don't know how I'm going to do it. My back is broken or something. In other news three more people today noticed and commented on my pregnancy. It's hilarious to me that some people who I spend time with and sit next to in class haven't noticed up until this point. It's pretty obvious. One lady asked if we did IVF, and then brought up the octuplets, what is it with people seriously.

Okay, I must find the energy and strength to move. I love my sweet babies but they sure do make me hurt, and this pain is a whole new level. I'm used to hurting and aching. That's my everyday existence even when I'm not pregnant, but wow this is really not good. I'm scared for the next few months although more than anything I want the babies to stay in and grow so I'll take whatever I have to in exchange for big healthy babies in June (hopefully).

26 Weeks

Not a whole lot to report this week since all of it has already been updated below, with the baby shower, hospital visit, and doctor's appointments. I went back to school this week and I have to admit that finishing this semester is going to be a really big challenge. Sitting in the desks for class is beyond painful. Especially Tuesdays when I have 5 hours of class pretty much all in a row. Walking to and from my school although it's a really short distance also causes me a great deal of pain. It's a slight uphill walk and the pain in my back shoots down my leg and up my spine, and it literally brings tears to my eyes. I have to walk so slow and force myself to keep taking steps.

I also have no energy. This week I had a mid-term and a paper due and next week I have two more papers and all I want to do when I'm not in class is nap. I'm exhausted from growing these little babies. Oh well. Somehow everything will get done it always does. I just want the babies to stay in as long as possible so I'll take the temporary pain and discomfort if it means they'll be born full term at healthy weights.

And now my ever expanding belly. I don't have any stretch marks yet, but my scar from my appendectomy is not liking the stretching. It actually kind of hurts, so it should be interesting to see what happens with the scar as I get bigger.

Test Results

My glucose testing was normal yay! That's happy news, but apparently my blood count (hematocrit) is low at 31. I'm suppose to take extra iron (which I've already been doing) but this could explain why I often feel dizzy and lightheaded. Yesterday, during a meeting I felt like I was going to pass out. I was soliciting food donations from everyone to see if that would help.

Growth Scan #2 and OB Appointment

For once we have nothing new or remarkable to report. The MFM people didn't repeat the fFN since I had it done on Saturday and it was negative. The babies are growing well. The baby boy weights 1 lb 11 oz and the girl 1 lb 10 oz, so the gap between the two of them is closing. My cervix remains unchanged since the hospital visit as well (Which is good since it's only been two days). Right after this first appointment we had another boring OB appointment.

Met a new doctor, did the glucose test which wasn't too bad although the drink wasn't so good towards the end and made me feel a little nauseous and gave me a headache. I'm assuming someone will let me know those results soon. Since my last appointment I've gained 4 lbs so I'm still gaining about 2 a week and have gained a total of 27lbs this pregnancy. Which avg. to about a pound a week over the entire pregnancy and the doctor seems satisfied with that.

And the most shocking measurement my uterus is now measuring 34w and I'm only 25w5d. Holy crap I'm going to be huge. I liked the doctor I saw today, maybe he'll be the one to deliver the babies. Although he did over explain things to us, at this point we know all about the fFN test and things like that but he doesn't know that and he was really nice. He also gave me some things to try to see if it helps manage some of the pain.

So that's all nothing remarkable thank goodness. All will be repeated in 2 weeks. Now off to class.

Labor & Delivery Visit #1

First, everything is okay. But last night around 8:30 I started having some really intense cramping in my lower uterus and my lower back. Like the good little pregnant person I am I knew that the first thing any doctor will tell you is to drink water and lay on your side to see if they get better. So that's what I did for two hours, and it still wasn't better. At 10:30 I decided to try a bath to see if that would help and that too was a no go.

Then I decided I should just try to sleep but because of the pain this also wasn't working and at this point Marcus was worried and wanted me to call a doctor. So at 11:00 I called urgent care, and the on call doctor called me back around 11:30 and asked me all the standard questions. Duration, frequency, pain rate, any other problems with this pregnancy (I mentioned the short cervix and the negative fFN test from a few weeks ago etc.) After all of this he decides that I should probably come into the hospital and be hooked up to some machines to see if everything is okay.

Great. First, I had no idea where the L&D part of the hospital is. The hospital here is huge and it seems like it's all over the city. Oddly enough when I gave Marcus the name of the streets and the entrance we needed to use he knew exactly where it was apparently he's much more observant of our surroundings than I am. The second issue is parking. The valet parking wasn't in use since it was after midnight on a weekend and parking downtown is a nightmare anyways. I told Marcus that in the coming months we're probably going to need to re-evaluate the parking situation. There must be somewhere to park that we were missing. We parked probably illegally in some random hospital round about thing.

Some lady in a suit basically met us at the door and already had a bracelet printed out for me and she took us up to the L&D floor. Once there they just had me get into a bed and hooked up monitors to check the babies and to see if I was contracting or not. So I laid there for about an hour with all of that on. Then they did another fFN test and checked my cervix which has shortened just a little bit again. Last check it was between 2.1 and 2.4 it's now between 2.1 and 2.2. Then they did a quick ultrasound of the babies and we learned that our boy had completely switched positions. For the last few weeks he's been head down right next to my cervix, and he is now completely breach and he and his sister are both head up with their feet and knees on my bladder (which explains the added kicks I've been feeling).

After a few hours of monitoring they told me I could go and the doctor would get back to me with the results of the fFN test and things sometime in the morning. Marcus was freaking out, poor guy. I honestly felt like all of this was a little unnecessary and I felt a little stupid for even going in, but I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry and have everything checked out and I did call first and the doctor told me to come in so... I have no idea what was causing the cramping, I'm not really sure if the doctors do either but for now all is well, and I'm still just waiting on the doctor to call with the test results. I wish there was some way to know what's "normal" and what's not. I hate second guessing myself. I don't want to be a hypochondriac (and I did wait about 3 hours last night before I called) but I also don't want to ignore something that could potentially be problematic.

And now for some real hilarity I had Marcus take a picture of me with the monitors hooked up (because what else were we going to do for an hour) and I look horrible. I was exhausted and super uncomfortable since laying on my back makes it really difficult to breath and the nurse had lowered the bed too much, my arm is hanging over the bed like I'm dying or something and I'm kind of laying on the remote for the bed. We got home around 2am and now I'm trying to find some energy to study for my NT mid-term tomorrow.

So here it is my death like picture so not cute (but they did color coordinate the monitors for the babies, pink for the girl and blue for the boy). I also must confess that the nurse asked if they had names, I said yes and she wanted to know what they were and I figured she wouldn't tell anyone, her reception of them was a little odd, so now I feel even more affirmed that we will not be telling anyone else until they're here. I don't want odd reactions to our baby names because they are literally the only two names in existence that Marcus and I both agree on.

Baby Shower Part I

I'm saying part I because I'm still collecting pictures from a variety of cameras, but I'll share what I have at this point. My baby shower was fun, it was co-ed with my closest friends from school and mostly we just ate and then we decorated a million onesies. Marcus wasn't able to go because of work which sucked but it was a nice afternoon with friends. I feel so blessed to have such a great support system here and they all really want to baby-sit for me. I told them they better watch what they say because odds are I'm going to have to take them up on that offer depending on Marcus and my school schedules.

25 Weeks

Nothing too exciting to report this week. Another week of spring break and as much laying on the couch as possible. I did go over to my school a few times to do some work but any amount of walking and sitting for any amount of time causes me severe pain in my uterus. I have no idea what that's about.

I also discovered that one of my new least favorite activities is taking the bus. Since we only have one car I take the bus to some of my appointments and the bus is so old and the road is so horrible that it bounces me all over the place and it hurts. Not to mention that I always just barely miss the bus and in my pre-pregnancy days I had no shame and would chase it down. Now as I slowly waddle around I wistful watch the bus pass me by which makes my wait that much longer *sigh* I really miss being active. The weather is getting nicer and I really wish I could go running.

Additionally, I maintain my earlier position that maternity clothes are ugly. I went shopping for a few more shirts and it was a pretty awful experience. The shirts are hideous, really really hideous. If someone happens across a cute shirt that will fit my ever expanding belly and won't make me look like I'm 90 wearing a smock or a mau mau and doesn't cost a million dollars please point me in that direction. Some of the shirts actually made Marcus laugh out loud.

Marcus and I also registered on Monday. I really hate registering . I hated it when we got married and it was no different with the babies. There are way to many options and everything costs so much and I know Marcus and I are just going to buy the majority of the things we need ourselves so it seemed like a futile exercise, but Marcus really likes too and a few people have asked so for now we having something that resembles a registry.

Sleep still sucks, my back and hips ache, and I can no longer tie my shoes. I also forget how big my belly is and have bumped it into things a few times because I haven't remembered that I stick out. All in all an uneventful week.

Tuesday we have two appointments one with the MFM to check my cervix, repeat the fFN test, and check the growth of the babies and then after that an OB appointment which includes the one hour glucose test. Fun stuff. Hopefully all remains constant with no more shortening.

Oh, and my friends are throwing me a small shower on Saturday so that's something to look forward too.

Fabric and Starch on the Walls...

The downside to renting an overpriced apartment is we're limited in how we can decorate. I would love to be able to paint, but of course that's not allowed and I'm not brave enough to ignore the limitations of our lease. We looked into a wallpaper that is easy to remove but that was surprisingly expensive so then after a bit of research I learned of a wall treatment technique using fabric and starch. Marcus of course thought I was nuts, but a few days ago he decided that we might as well try it and since he doesn't procrastinate (unlike me) off we went to the fabric store.

The actual picking out of the fabric was kind of amusing. Marcus and I had the dimensions of the wall we wanted to cover but only had the dimensions in inches. We then did a variety of random calculations trying to figure out how many yards of fabric we would need to cover the wall. It was hilarious we were dividing and multiplying and debating and coming up with a bunch of random numbers I think we just confused ourselves but eventually we reached the conclusion that we would need 9 yards of fabric. (We later learned we only needed 8 oh well we were pretty close).

The actual process of putting of the fabric was relatively smooth. We used a paint brush to apply the starch to the wall and then just put the fabric over it and then more starch directly on top of the starch, then used a flat putty spatula thing to smooth out the bubbles. The result is subtle since the fabric we chose isn't that vibrant but it does add a little texture and color to the room.


Close up of the fabric.

Marcus working on the wall.

In progress. The upper part had been starched at this point and the lower part still needed to be done.

Cervix Check #3

My cervix has shortened just a tiny little bit since last week but in the words of the doctor "there's no significant change" it measured between 2.1 and 2.4 which is similar to last weeks measurements of between 2.2 to 2.6. which is good news and fFN tests are good for 2 weeks so we didn't repeat that. Maybe laying around and doing nothing really helps because honestly since the last appointment I haven't done a whole lot, no work, no class obviously since it's spring break and minimal walking. I go back in a week for another cervix check, another fFN test, and a growth scan to check the weights and sizes of the babies. So all in all for the moment me and the cervix are remaining steady.

The babies are hilarious though they have no room and the little girls butt is directly on the boys head and then occasionally she would stretch out and kick him in the head and he just hangs out and sucks his thumb and gives perfect profile pictures like always while his sister continues to leave her hands in front of her face. Marcus and I were wondering if their behavior would be similar once they were born. If our boy would suck his thumb, and our little girl would sleep with her hands on her head and face. Guess we'll see.

24 Weeks aka V-Day

Some (in the internet world) refer to 24 weeks as V-Day the magic viability day (in my world as a student V-Day pertains to the Vagina monologues, but I suppose viability will work too) . Which really just means if the babies were born now they could maybe, live and the hospital and doctors would do what they could to save them. So while in reality it means very little because lets be serious babies at 24 weeks is crazy early, it is a nice milestone to reach and each day the babies are stronger and stronger.

Week 24 has been fairly boring as I spend most of my time sitting on the couch with my feet up. I don't sit there non-stop I do leave the apartment and go on short trips to the stores, I go to doctor appointment etc. but I really am trying to limit by activities and walking per the advice of the MFM doctors. I also read that heavy lifting was not advised with a shortened cervix so that pretty much cemented the deal that I had to get a back pack with wheels. Marcus has finally won that battle and I will now join the ranks of many of the second career students on campus (who as a side note have a group called the Former Prophets) and roll my belonging around. It should be delivered tomorrow. I think Marcus finds the fact that I caved a little bit funny. Especially because a few years ago his grandparents bought him a backpack for Christmas and it was one that had wheels on it. He was immediately horrified and he exchanged it as fast as he could. He never even considered it and now here we are a few years later, both older, wiser, (me) pregnant, and sporting a backpack with wheels (and he just laughs). Maybe after the babies are born I'll make him use it for a while see how he likes it.

Sleeping still isn't going well and it's becoming increasingly difficult to roll over and get in and out of bed. So I've taken to referring to myself as a beached whale (which just for the record no one else is allowed to call me) but that's kind of how I feel in our bed. Our bed is really, really, tall, mostly because we have it on lifts so we can store things underneath since we live in a tiny little place. So getting in requires a lot of effort and getting out requires just as much and often I just feel stuck. Similar, I image to how a beached whale must feel unable to move easily to it's desired location. Marcus also finds this comparison hilarious, apparently these days I am here for his amusement.

I think one of my favorite moments from this week though is when I woke up to Marcus smiling and laughing. I was still asleep and he had put his hand on my stomach and the little girl started kicking. So Marcus and his daughter had a little moment and it was adorable to wake up and see how happy and excited Marcus was to feel one of his babies.

All in all I'm hanging in there. Tomorrow I have another cervix check and I imagine they'll do another fFN so hopefully all is holding steady.

24 Weeks...

I quit my job...

Maybe I'm being overly cautious but given my schedule with school, work, and internship something needed to go. I only work part time but at the end of those work hours I'm exhausted and I hurt. My job involves dealing with huge old maps. Which doesn't really sound that physical but it is because it involves pulling huge files of maps out of huge cabinets, and the benefits just didn't outweigh the potential risks anymore.

I feel awful about it though. I feel really guilty because they spent so much time training me and I feel like I've just abandoned them and the project that I started especially since they wanted me full time again this summer. I know in the end it's the right decision I just wish I wasn't having to make these decisions yet. I really wanted to finish out the semester of work. I know quitting doesn't make me a failure but in some ways it feels like. I don't quit things ever and now just like that no more maps. I'm a little sad about it. (But Marcus is happy).

OB appointment 23w4d

These appointments are so boring but right now I'll take boring since at the MFM we never really get such boring news. I've gained 8 pounds since my last appointment four weeks ago and I have gained a total of 23 pounds this pregnancy which I guess is good. I'm also suppose to start an iron supplement and depending on what my next cervix check says on Friday she says I may need to stop working.

She also measured my uterus and I'm measuring 29 weeks so that pretty much confirms it for me that I'm going to be huge, but I suppose that's to be expected with twins. Other than that nothing too exciting, we listened to the babies heartbeats and I'm now starting bi-weekly appointments, the next one will include the 1 hour glucose test.

Belly Pics slide show

Doctors are fast (When they need to be)

The MFM doctor just called and said that result from the fFN test was negative which is great news and we can be assured that the babies are going to hang out for a few more weeks and since they're checking my cervix again in a week we will know next friday if something changes. So we have bought another week at least.

While I was on the phone with that doctor, my OB's office called and they called in the prescription for the Prometrium so I can start that as soon as I pick it up.

I'm impressed with the promptness of all of this. Doctors can be very efficient when they need to be and even called me at 7:00 pm to tell me the results. So at least I know for the next week all should be well and I'll continue to take it as easy as I can.

Cervix Check... not so good.

The news from my cervix check is not so great. Since the last check 2 weeks ago my cervix has shortened again, now it measures between 2.2 and 2.5 depending (the have you do different things to get different measurements) which is into the not safe zone. It was pretty obvious even to me that the news wasn't good as they were doing the ultrasound because of one the numbers, but also the tech wasn't commenting much. She was pretty silent the whole time, and then went to go get the doctor.

They did a fetal Fibronectin test to see what that has to say. Which from what I understand basically checks to see if there are proteins present. To my some what limited knowledge of the fFN test if it's negative it's a good indication that I'll remain pregnant for at least a few more weeks (they'll repeat this test every time I have an ultrasound), and if it's a positive its an indicator of pre-term labor at some point or something like that. So we're hoping for a negative on that test obviously.

The MFM doctor wants to see me again in a week to check the cervix (instead of 2) and he's also recommending to my OB that I start some sort of suppository or something to see if that'll help I don't remember exactly what he said. I have an appointment with my OB on Monday so I guess she'll know since this doctor is sending his report over to my OB right now and I don't remember because they were giving a lot of information. So until Monday I plan on doing nothing, we'll see if what the fFN test has to say, and check the cervix again next Friday. Right now it's literally a wait and see game. I'm trying to remain calm about all of this but I'm scared about the possibility of it shortening even more and pre-term labor. So that's what I know.

2 days until my OB appointment and next Friday we'll check the cervix again. More waiting and worrying.

23 Weeks

Overall it's been a fairly uneventful week which I'm grateful for. I've been trying to take it as easy as possible because I'm extra paranoid about my cervix. Over the weekend I spent all my time on the couch and pretty much any time I can I'm sitting. My anxiety has been really bad this week in regards to a variety of things and as a result of that and general discomfort I still haven't been sleeping. I also didn't go to work at all this week, I'm just so tired and I didn't have the energy for it.

The babies are kicking more and more and Marcus is able to feel them quite a bit these days. One day a baby was kicking really hard over and over so Marcus put my hand on my stomach and then when the baby kicked he jerked his hand away because it was so hard and distinct, not like the little twitches he's felt earlier. There's also a baby that's hanging out around my rib area which is a really weird feeling, and I can feel when they roll or something which creates a really weird sensation. So strange and so amazing. Breathing is increasingly difficult as it bending down to do things like tie my shoes and it needs to warm up quickly because my winter jacket is becoming too tight to zip up.

I also opted out of a 7 day training in Baltimore that I was suppose to attend in two weeks for my internship. I'm a little sad about missing out on the opportunity but it's 7 full days of training from early morning into the evening and physically I just didn't think I'd be able to handle it. Marcus was relieved about my decision not to go.

I've been feeling kind of blah lately. I think I'm a little lonely which is nuts because nothing has changed but I feel really alone over here. Maybe part of it is the weather. I'm over the cold and the snow, I'm tired of school, and I'm tired of my internship. I'm also just worried and anxious which probably doesn't help.

Other than that not too much going on. I have another cervix check tomorrow and then an OB appointment on Monday so hopefully we'll get good news at both of those appointments.

23 Week Pictures:

Marcus makes me laugh...

He had today off, which is a first. He never gets weekends off and he spent all day cleaning out what will be the nursery, which as I mentioned before is no easy task. He carried the now empty desk to the basement of our apartment building, along with futon (I'm not sure how he didn't kill himself moving these two things alone) and then moved our other desk and a shelf full of my scrapbook supplies into our bedroom. Finally, he assembled the dresser/changing table.

A few minutes ago I thanked him for all his work and then jokingly told him he must be nesting. He looked at me a little confused and said, "Is that because I'm the daddy bird and I have to build the nest or something?" Haha... he had no idea what nesting in relation to pregnancy meant. Funny stuff.