Nursery Project #1

I'm a pack rat. I've been that way my entire life, in fact Pack Rat is what my Papa has always called me because I keep everything. Which as I get older is starting to pose a little bit of a problem, especially since we live in a small two bedroom apartment. We want to start on the nursery but in order to do that we first have to clear out all of the things that have accumulated in what we've been using as an office. Last night we took on our first project, cleaning out the desk. Which may not sound like a big project but it really was. Our goal was to take everything inside this desk:

And some how make all of that go neatly and organized into this bookshelf (which was full of it's own random assortment of things.

It took awhile and I actually threw away quite a bit but in the end everything fit and it's all neatly organized and stored away and this was our final result (sorry for the awkward picture but we had to move this book case over a little).


So one small step down, but we now have an empty desk that we can get rid of.

22 Weeks...

I love thursday because with each thursday we're one week closer to having healthy big babies. This week I've been doing my best to stay off my feet and lighten my backpack load. I'm nervous about the state of my cervix and still have another week before we check it again. I'm also exhausted. I read/heard that the second trimester is suppose to bring renewed energy after the fatigue that's so common in the first, this however is not true for me at all. I'm so tired that sometimes the thought of having to get up and leave the apartment is enough to bring me to tears.

Yesterday I even skipped a class which I never ever do because I was to physically exhausted to walk the few feet to the school. Which has me a little bit concerned for how I'm going to survive the rest of this semester. It probably doesn't help that I can't sleep. I'll fall asleep for about 3 hours but consistently wake up around 2 to use the bathroom and then can't go back to sleep. I'm unable to find a comfortable way to sleep, and the pain in my back and legs just keeps increasing, which isn't unexpected. I have an appointment with my rheumatologist in a week so I wonder what he''ll have to say about the fibro. stuff and pregnancy. I think I may just have to endure it. I can no longer do my physical therapy not that I would given my cervix and the need to take it easy, but man I never expected the pain to be this bad. Hot baths are my friend, well not that hot since Marcus freaks out, but they do help with some of the pain.

Other than that the babies are getting more and more active. They move, kick, and flip all the time and I love it. It still sometimes takes me by surprise. Marcus has felt them a few times but it requires his patience holding his hand on my stomach until they decide to cooperate.

I also finally told my boss today because he asked if I was planning on working this summer which was the question I had been waiting for since it's a natural way to bring it up. His reaction was by far the weirdest and I had such a hard time knowing how to respond. I feel as though the entire conversation needs to be recorded, honestly just for the record this goes on the list of things not to say when someone tells you they're pregnant.

Boss: Are you planning on working this summer?
Me: I'd like to but I'm pregnant so I'm going to be busy with babies this summer.
Boss: (looking surprised...men are really oblivious I'm discovering, I'm obviously pregnant at this point) When are you Due.
Me: July 2nd
Boss: Almost like my son, but that was six years ago. Do you have Yale health plan? (My insurance)
Me: Yes...
Boss: Well I hope you don't die...
Me: Um... I'll try to avoid that
Boss: My wife almost died after she gave birth, she almost bled to death
Me: Oh (I didn't know what to say)
Boss: But we pulled through, and at least they pay for everything. I'm sure they probably have some good doctors just be careful.
Me: um... okay I'll keep that in mind...

So incredibly weird. Seriously the appropriate response is not to tell someone you hope they don't die... who says that to a pregnant woman. It was funnier when I texted Marcus with the news that I had finally told my boss, and Marcus wanted to know his response, all I texted back was, "He told me he hopes I don't die." So so strange. At least he knows now.

My 22 week belly:

A meltdown...

I can't believe I'm even going to record this experience let alone in a place where others can read it, but the point of the blog is to remember my pregnancy the good and the bad, and this probably qualifies as the bad and the embarrassing. Last night I had a big, sobbing, meltdown, because our apartment was a mess, and my whole body hurt and I was too exhausted to do anything about it, not to mention me leaning over a bathtub and scrubbing just isn't going to happen at this point.

I just kept crying and saying to Marcus, "Our apartment needs to be cleaned, and there's no time to do it, and I hurt and I'm just going to keep getting bigger and can't do it." Only imagine all of that jumbled and messy from the crying, it was ridiculous. It sounded ridiculous coming out of my mouth and yet there I sat, sobbing, over the bathroom needing to be cleaned.

I'm not sure why Marcus didn't run away screaming or laughing or both. But he sweetly suggested I go to bed and he tucked me in. When I woke up our apartment was clean. Everything had been scrubbed the bathroom, kitchen, everything dusted, all that was left was to vacuum and he didn't do that because I was sleeping.

Marcus is amazing and I'm a psychopath. That's the conclusion I reached, but Marcus just wisely told me when I apologized for my breakdown, "It's okay your pregnant..." He also might have mentioned something about hormones... Yeah, not one of my finer moments.

Starting the nursery...

Pretty much we can't do anything with that room until we clean it out, but Marcus did put together one of the cribs so we could see what it looked like. Perhaps not one of our smartest moves since there's absolutely no where for the crib to go except sit in the middle of the room. Opps.


Marcus starting with the assembly.


An almost finished crib, and Marcus hiding from the camera (Similar to his daughter who also likes to hide from pictures)


And just because it's cute. The next morning when I went into the room, I found that Marcus had laid two onesies in the crib to represent the babies. (We don't have mattresses yet, we ordered them and they're on their way and we won't be using the bumpers but put them in just to see what it looked like).

New Pics of the babies...

Our babies already have totally different personalities. At every ultrasound thus far Baby A our boy has been a star. He seems to love having his picture taken and also provides picture perfect profiles which yesterday resulted in the ability to get some 3D pictures. The little girl on the other hand is either stubborn or shy, probably a combination of both. She resists the scan. She plants herself face down and then hide her face with her hands. Every time the tech, would almost have a good angle the little girl would move, or put her hands in the way. Crazy girl, especially since she's the one we need to check up on more due to her umbilical cord. We did get one 3D picture of the baby girl, but her hands are blocking her face, and she was moving so she kind of looks like an alien or something. Maybe we'll have better luck next time.



Here's our little boy sucking his thumb. Isn't he cute? ( I think he's just adorable. With his little hand on his head and sucking on his thumb).


Another picture of the baby boy since he was so cooperative and seemed to love the attention.


And our stubborn little girl, who wouldn't hold still and is using both her hands to block the shot which resulted in a kind of a scary picture. Crazy baby. She was being like her dad yesterday both shy and stubborn. Marcus often has similar reactions to my wanting to take pictures of him.

(Clicking on the pictures makes them a little bigger)

Growth Scan #1

The good news: The babies look good, moving like crazy all over the place. They both still have all of the parts that are important (especially the little girl with her umbilical cord issue) and their growth is good. The little boy weighs 15oz and the little girl 13 oz which is 9% difference which is exactly what it was 4 weeks ago. They want twins to be within 20-25% so the babies are well within that range, and they're both growing on the same growth rate as before, our little girl is probably just always going to be smaller because of genetics nothing to do with the umbilical cord at this point.

The bad news: My cervix length decreased a lot. Last time it was 3.6 this time it was 2.7 so almost a cm difference and once it goes 2.5 or under that's considered not safe. At this point they're not putting me on bed rest but they want me to be cautious of my walking habits and try to take it easy. They also want to re-check the cervix in 2 weeks instead of 4 to make sure it's not shortening any more. Once I reach 24 weeks they can do another test to see if I'm at risk for pre-term labor, and they will continue to monitor both the cervix length (every two weeks) and the growth of the babies (every 4 weeks). Marcus now wants me to quit my job, which is something I'm considering but I'm going to wait and see what the measurement is in 2 weeks. The shortening cervix was another one of my fears and I'm so worried about pre-term labor, especially right now. I'm only 21 weeks they need to stay put for a really really long time.

The neutral news: They probably will want me to see a maternal specialist who specializes in von willebrands because I'm having twins and there is so much more blood going to the uterus than with a single baby it's possible I may need DDAVP at the delivery. So now we just hope and pray that the cervix stops shortening and the babies keep growing they way that they are.

21 Weeks

This can officially be classified as the week where people I don't really know ask inappropriate questions. I'm obviously showing as people are now asking whether I'm pregnant, which is fine, it's many of the follow up questions I have problems with. In the last week people have asked some of the following:

"Did you do this on purpose?"
"You're not taking a year off?"
"Is your marriage okay?"
"Wow you both have crappy paying jobs."

Among a variety of other invasive questions from people that I don't really know that well. I hate feeling like I have to defend myself or my family/career/school choices. Marcus and I are not stupid people. We did not enter into this decision lightly, and I don't appreciate the inquisition into these things by people.

Aside from the annoying-ness of people, the rest of life is pretty much as it has been. I'm still not sleeping, I'm sore, I'm tired but all that is too be expected and it's not too bad. I'm so busy these days between work, school, and internship and know that I'm probably going to need to slow down a little and listen to my body. Also the babies are so active these days and I love it. Sometimes they randomly start doing things while I'm in class and I've decided they start acting up when they get bored. haha maybe they're tired of school especially latin american art and architecture not the most entertaining of classes.

I also discovered this week that I find most maternity clothes to be over priced and hideous. Thus far I haven't bought much. Many of my pre-pregnancy shirts still work since they're longer and strechy and then I bought a couple of pairs of maternity jeans. However, in this next couple of weeks I'm going on several interviews for placement sites for an internship next year and I need professional attire. Yeah right. What a huge joke. I ended up wearing some pre-pregnancy slacks (Which don't button at all) so I had to use the belly band to cover that/hold them up, and then I had a blouse that still works because it's kind of flowy, but I can't very well wear that for all of the interviews. I also hate how expensive this stuff is. It's a temporary wardrobe and I just don't feel like I can justify spending so much money on clothes that will only be used for a short time. I don't even spend that much money on my regular wardrobe. This is going to be a problem. I have no idea where to look for clothes. The places I've been have about 3 shirts and they all cost way to much. Oh well I guess...

In other baby news we bought the cribs today. We decided just to go with a simple, basic crib from Ikea. It was the most money friendly option and the cribs get high safety ratings, and the babies are really not going to care where they sleep. We probably won't set them both up for a while because I'm still a little paranoid. I don't dwell on the bad at all, I'm just very aware that things could still go wrong.

Tomorrow we have another growth scan to check the babies, especially the little girl to make sure she's still growing and to re-check her organs and other areas that could be markers for problems. I'm both excited to see our babies and a little nervous. They'll also check my cervix again and make sure all is well.

Here are the belly pictures for the week. I look awful once again. I wonder if I look that exhausted and awful in real life or only in the pictures.

Flutters and kicks...

The babies have been crazy for the past few days. Mostly I just feel flutters but occasionally I get a sharp jab that's more of a kick. So awesome and hilarious. I love it.

Late 20 week picture

We really need to take pictures in the mornings, by night I look like crap (and I noticed this week in the pictures I have a sway back). I made Marcus take 4 pictures trying to correct it and I couldn't.

My new favorite Comment...

I'm still at the convent for a few more hours, and I'm still "borrowing" someone's wi-fi from a corner in a room... Anyways, yesterday, Marcus sent me a picture of two little preemie onesies that his mom sent for Phil and Lil. Mark then followed the picture up with, "They're so small it makes me kind of worried that I'm going to lose them. And by them I mean the babies." Haha.

I assured him that misplacing a baby would be difficult but I thought it was hilarious and adorable.

The nun thinks I look small...

I'm staying at a convent (Which is a little weird) mostly because of the silence thing. And I'm blogging because yesterday we discovered we could borrow someone's unsecured wi-fi if we sit in a particular room in one room corner. Anyways I was asking a nun yesterday about food since I had read that Fridays were fast days, and well now is not the time to fast. They assured me that finding food wouldn't be a problem and when she found out I was 20 weeks pregnant with twins she said, "But your so tiny."

That was nice to hear since I feel really huge and I know I'll only get bigger and more uncomfortable. They're also going to put me on their prayer list for expectant mothers. Nuns are nice (which probably goes without saying).

20 Weeks!

Which for some is half way, but I'm not really betting on actually making it to 40 weeks although if I could I would because I just want big healthy babies, but I would take 38 weeks or so. Let's see what's happening in the exciting world of me being pregnant this week? Nothing really. Sleep still sucks because it's non-existent. I just can't lay on my left side it hurts so much, and it doesn't help that I have to use the bathroom every 2 hours, so all in all that's not much fun. Also my uterus is sore. I think it's from the babies growing and stretching but walking and moving sometimes requires a lot of effort.

Work still doesn't really know that I pregnant and as the days go by it's just getting more awkward for me. Oh, well someday they'll know. Although my co-worker, who also happens to be a div. school student and my good friends boyfriend did mention that I should probably tell them or they'll all just think I'm getting fat(he obviously knows). Haha.

I also told my internship supervisor and the other student placed at my internship site. I'm shocked that neither of them knew or had a clue. My supervisor shook my hand, it was a very guy like thing to do and made me laugh a little.

Marcus felt a baby yesterday. I thought he might be able to if he just put his hand on my belly and waited (because it's not consistent still) and he did feel a little twitch, the look on his face was adorable when he realized what he felt. Each day the babies are moving more and more and sometimes it still takes me by surprise but I love it I encourage them often to kick me.

In food news I'm still hungry all the time and the only thing I seem to really "crave' in the traditional pregnancy sense is anything cold. Smoothies, Popsicles, slushies.

That's all. Still just hanging in there, growing bigger, and being thankful everyday that I'm pregnant. I'll have to post a pic. on Saturday because I'm leaving for Boston and Marcus isn't home, and I don't feel like getting out the tripod. 20w2d is close enough for the 20 week picture I think.

Dr. Appointment 19w3d...

Just a quick routine appointment (these are so boring). I've gained a total of 15lbs which according to my doctor isn't bad but it's a little behind where I should be for twins. I don't know what else I can do I feel like I eat all the time. Oh, well she wasn't overly concerned about it.

My uterus is above my belly button which explains why breathing and even talking is difficult. I get out of breath so easily, it's embarrassing. I'm not used to short distances and even saying more than a few sentences at a time being difficult.

She explained a little more about the little girl's umbilical cord issue. Basically it's what I already knew, it can indicate a problem and they're just going to watch her and make sure she's growing, if she doesn't then bed-rest and no work will be the protocol to see if it helps. Hopefully though there's nothing to worry about and all will be well.

I got to see the babies again and they were wiggling all over like crazy, the little boy really likes to show off that he's a boy which Marcus finds hilarious.

I did in fact have a UTI so I'm glad I went in when I did last week and started the antibiotics and then that was it. I'll see them again in another 4 weeks.

19 Weeks

I'm now 100% sure that I feel the babies. It's still not consistent but it's becoming more frequent and I love it. It's a so strange that there are little people inside me. I'm also showing visibly to the outside world. Which oddly enough is still surprising to me, and have had several awkward encounters when *I think* someone has asked/mentioned my pregnancy but I'm not sure.

On Tuesday after going to the bathroom for the 100th time and annoying my co-worker who has to answer the door for me every time I leave and come back, she simply said, "Congratulations." My incredibly posed response was to stare at her for a few awkward minutes and then ask, "For what?" then after a few more minutes of discomfort I said thanks and went back to work. Who knows what she's thinking at this point as I still can't figure out how to tell them. I'm trying to figure out how to casually work it into the conversation at work so I can just stop wondering if they know or don't know. See I'm awkward...

Second awkward experience was with the sweetest Catholic Bishop I've ever met, he's 74 and I love him seriously he's amazing. Anyways, not the point but as I stood up to leave our meeting and was putting on my jacket *I think* he said, "When are you expecting?" I say I think because I really don't know for sure and again my stellar response was "What?" To which he promptly changed the subject thinking he has just offended a non-pregnant person by asking that question.

Finally, today I met another women for a conversation for my internship (lots of internship stuff lately that's why I was meeting the bishop too.) And bless this woman she just asked, "Are you having a baby?" To which I concretely answered, "Actually I'm having two babies." (We had never met before and this was the first thing she said to me haha). Finally, a nice clear exchange about the whole thing. Her response to the twin thing was hilarious, although she was a hilarious woman who talked a hundred miles a minute. I really wish I could capture the essence of some of the people I meet. They're all so different and amazing with such interesting backgrounds.

So I think it's fair to say that I look pregnant at this point, and I'm getting better at formulating responses to questions although being blunt works best with me. I don't like having to guess what people are talking about, just say it.

Sleeping is still a struggle, I can't sleep on my side, and I wake up to use the bathroom about 3 times a night. I've been exhausted this week. Between the lack of sleep, school, work, and internship I'm just tired, I feel like I'm on the go all the time, and it's starting to wear on me some. Carrying my backpack is still a challenge but I'm still resisting the rolling bag I just can't go there yet...

Oh, and I almost forgot my belly button is flattening out and disappearing which I find kind of hilarious.

And our babies have names. Marcus and I have finally reached a consensus (which I thought would never happen) and the world will find out what they are when our babies enter the world. For now Phil and Lil will have to do...

Belly pics...

Unplanned Dr. visit today...

My aunt after reading about the cramping and back pain I had a few days ago asked if I thought I could possibly have a UTI. I've never had one before but the thought that I may have a bladder infection did enter my mind for several other reasons so I decided to email my doctor to see what they thought, and what they thought is that I should be seen. Great...

This was probably one of the most awkward appointments I've ever had. Prior to my appointment I had a class downtown with a guest lecturer which lasted 2.5 hours and after it was over I HAD to go to the bathroom. I knew that the doctor would want a urine sample but since it was only 3:40 and my appointment wasn't until 4:00 I figured it would be no problem. Wrong, when I arrived at the doctor at 3:45 I was immediately called back. Apparently a snow storm is enough to clear out a doctor's office and I was their sole patient fastest response ever, which normally would be great but not to great when they want a urine sample and I had none to give. Which then just seemed to annoy everyone and this appointment turned into Pee Watch 2009. Everyone was just standing around waiting for me to use the bathroom.

To waste time they took my weight, and I'm now up a total of 13 pounds. We looked at the babies they were jumping around like crazy, and I proceeded to drink 3 bottles of water in about 2 mins (I'm not kidding). Then we all continued to wait. FInally, all that was taken care of and the doctor had me start an antibiotic in the meantime. She would rather I start the antibiotic now and if the culture comes back negative stop, rather than risk the alternative.

Overall, it was just awkward.

Superbowl XLIII

I'm a dork, I'll admit it and I like to take pictures to commemorate events like the superbowl (and make shirts too). Marcus and I are big football fans and watch the Cowboys all year long. Sadly, they had a pathetic year so we'll be rooting for the Cardinals this superbowl. This year I incorporated our babies into the shirt (Since if their dad has anything to say about it they too will be big Dallas Cowboy fans).


So our babies can cheer for the cardinals too.

Our remembrance of the Cowboys, it was against the Cardinals that they lost Tony Romo for 3 games and our kicker (perhaps the beginning of the end of the Cowboys season)


Us in our matching cardinals shirts, I love that Marcus plays along with my ridiculousness.

Proof Our boy & our Girl

I'm a little behind in posting these ultrasound pictures, but here's proof that Baby A is a boy and Baby B is a girl.