Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I miss my babies part II...

This is the second part because lately between my primary job commitments and then the extra hours of tutoring on top of that I feel like I don't ever get to see Eli & Emerson and it sucks.

On Tuesdays for example I only see them briefly in the mornings and then they're in bed by the time I get home from leading my youth group. This is going to become a larger problem during Lent because in addition to my Tuesday youth group during Lent I'm going to be teaching an Adult education class at my church on Wednesday evenings. Which means another night when I won't get home until after they're in bed.

It really really sucks and I'm not sure what to do about it. I picked up the tutoring job because frankly we need the extra money. That said I've already cut down on my students since it was taking me an hour round trip to drive to the tutoring location, thus creating two more evenings when I didn't really see the babies. I don't feel as though I can fully eliminate the tutoring job completely due to money constraints and my commitment to the kids I'm working with.

Couple this with the fact that physically I can't keep up with these demands. I hurt almost all the time, the Crohns thing is annoying pretty much all the time, I'm tired all the time. I don't know what to do and right now there aren't really any great solutions.

I need to figure out a better way to take care of myself physically (time for exercising). Mentally, down time that doesn't involve work. This morning I woke up at 5am and sent a panicked email to our administrator about something that needed to be edited in the newsletter before it's printed (this is just madness), and I need more time with my babies. I miss them and they miss me.

I love working and I could never stay at home full time, but I do wish there was some way for me to have a greater balance between time with Eli & Emerson and the commitment to work.

I imagine this will continue to be an ongoing struggle.

1 comment:

Debbie said...

I made you lemon bars because you have been hurting. BUT--throw them away now. I don't trust them. (you know what I mean)
I wish I could help.
(and it's okay about the lemon bars.... I just was trying to make you a little treat. )
Again... I wish I could do something for you.