Tonsils, adenoids, and ear tubes oh my...

It seems Emmy may possibly need the trifecta. Tonsil and adenoids removed and tubes put in place. The doctor just seemed kind of frustrated. Last time we were at the ENT two weeks ago she had a tonsil infection and fluid in her ears and couldn't breathe (even though I told the doctor she never sounds like she can breathe I don't think he believed me).

So he wanted to see her in two weeks after some antibiotics. So we went back and really nothing has changed. She still has fluid in her ears, her eardrums still aren't moving at all, she still can't breathe and her tonsils are still enlarged.

I could sense that the doctor is apprehensive about the procedures because of her age (which I appreciate). So as he said in an effort to maybe delay the inevitable for a little longer we're going to try a nose spray for the next month and see if that helps with the snoring and then go back.

He's thinking of maybe starting with just the tubes and adenoids, and waiting on the tonsils until she's older. I guess we'll see what happens in a month.

Marcus is mocking me..

in a nice way because I've taken to a letter writing campaign to my congressman. I didn't like his vote to cut Federal Funding for Planned Parenthood. The congressman sent me a "response" to my first letter and frankly I didn't like it.

So I wrote my congressman a follow up letter with a few more questions and concerns. Marcus is laughing as I passionately typed away and was explaining to Emerson why we were writing to our congressman man. (She was sitting on my lap "helping me") Marcus said, "wow you really showed him."

Haha, I know, he doesn't read his email, I know his reply is just a stock reply, but it makes me feel better.  Marcus and I are trying to decide if we think I'll get the exact same letter in reply to this second inquiry. We shall see. (So this is kind of an experiment too) but he did say to keep him informed of the issues that matter to me and to keep in touch (we're obviously BFFs now) so I think I'll take my congressman up on that offer.

Here's my second letter to my congressman. I think I'm going to write to him about my issues with medicaid next. This is kind of fun.

Dear Congressman _____
Thank you very much for your response regarding my inquiry as to why you would vote to cut federal funding from Planned Parenthood. However, I have to say that you're response did little to alleviate my concerns as you have turned this conversation into one about abortion. You state in your letter that you, "support the privacy rights of women..." and yet your vote to restrict federal funding to Planned Parenthood directly contradicts this statement. Planned Parenthood is one of the largest providers of healthcare for women in this country, not to mention it is one of the only options that is accessible and affordable.  


By voting to cut funding you are essentially voting against women and their right for access to basic medical and family planning care. Even more concerning however is that you are turning this question into one about abortion when it is in fact not about that.  


Congressman ___ as I'm sure you are well aware (or at least I would hope you are well aware) federal monies cannot be used for abortions. Therefore your statement, "Millions of hardworking taxpayers strongly object to their tax dollars funding activities such as abortion, which they find morally objectionable." is inaccurate and not relevant. This is not a question about tax dollars being used for abortions since it is already stipulated that federal dollars cannot be used for abortion. Not to mention there are hundreds of Planned Parenthood clinics around the country that do not even offer abortion services.  


Planned Parenthood far and above provides things like, pre-cancer screenings, screenings for sexually transmitted diseases, sex education, access to birth control and family planning resources. Cutting funding for planned parenthood does nothing to impact abortion, once again this is NOT about abortion. It is about the right for women to have access to medical care, care that Planned Parenthood can uniquely offer to women around the country. I really do hope that you will keep my concerns in mind in the future when voting on issues relating to Health Care and Planned Parenthood.  
Thanks, Sadie

Home...

Yesterday Marcus, the babies and I made a quick trip to our hometown (about 170 miles from where we lived). We drove up so I could attend my sister's baby shower. I told Marcus last night that I loved going "home" to his parents house because it reminds me of Christmas break and it almost always feels like a vacation.

We weren't even there for 24 hours but I enjoyed my time reading, talking with my mother in law, sermon writing (well I kind of enjoyed this), watching the babies so obviously at ease in their grandparents home.

I'm glad we went even though it meant waking up at 5:00 this morning driving for 2.5 hours and then pretty much immediately preaching a sermon.

It's been awhile...

since I've complained about our health care situation, but never fear it's an ongoing theme in our lives. I wrote here about Eli & Emerson's less than stellar hearing test results and the request by the audiologist that they been seen by an ENT.

Lucky for 50% of my children Emerson already had a referral and an appointment with an ENT so she was already good to go. Bad for the other 50% of my children Eli did not have a referral and thus I set about trying to get one.

I called the clinic (you know the only clinic in the city that will treat my children because having medicaid here apparently = nobody will treat your child, it's fun). They sent me to a referral line where i get a message indicating that this line is for doctors only. It goes on to state that if this is a patient trying to get a referral you must deal directly with the doctor. I did hear this but since the receptionist transfered me to this line I took a chance and left a message. I honestly didn't expect a return call, but I was trying to be optimistic, silly me.

So after waiting several days I called back again today explained that my 21 month old son had a crappy hearing test and he needs to be seen by an ENT, and wouldn't you know it they didn't even say anything to me they simply transfered me to that same line with the same recording. This just infuriated me and I hung up and promptly called back.

This time I took a more direct approach with the woman on the line, and she did actually ask me a few questions this time. Like who I see there on a regular basis, (she wasn't impressed when I mentioned that we've never seen the same doctor twice, not my fault lady I don't set up the appointments). Then she asks who we saw last, I had no idea. Too many doctors, too many babies, too many appointments, too many things to remember. Again she wasn't very impressed with me, but begrudgingly looked it up and then once again transfered me to another line with a different recording. I left another message and here we are several weeks past the hearing test and not one bit closer to having a referral. I want to scream or cry or both I'm so tired of this.

It's not hard a request, it's not an unreasonable request, and yet no one seems the least bit interested in actually helping me. Argggggg

::::

This then leads into some doctor woes of my own (and I actually have insurance). I'm on an SSRI for my PPD and anxiety. While still living in CT I was being seen weekly by a therapist and getting this prescription was no big deal.

Since moving it's been a huge issue. I went to refill it this month to discover that I didn't have any refills left on the bottle. So I called my doctor to request a refill because going cold turkey off an SSRI is very bad, and it makes you feel very bad. The directions even say right on the bottle don't do it. I don't have a medical degree but I know this is bad. So I assume my request is simple, reasonable, responsible even.

I called and the receptionist said she would ask the doctor and that was it. I called back later in the afternoon to learn my request was denied. I was informed I needed to make an appointment (which I already did. I have an appointment for monday) but that doesn't change the fact that I ran out of my medication early this week and the results have not been pleasant.

When I learned that my request was denied I was instantly went to tears as I tried to calmly explain to the lady that I just needed enough medication to get me through Monday. I need to function (I need to write and deliver a sermon and teach a class and be a mother) and the last several days I have not been able to do that. I think she could hear my distress because she seemed sympathetic and I finally did in fact get a prescription for three pills.

I really hate that being off the medication for even just a few days is so disastrous. I do hope to someday get to a point when I can wean off them, but I'm not there yet.

I also worry about putting all of this out there, but I've decided that there's no shame in knowing that I need some help. It took me a long long time to recognize and accept that and I'm a better person when I face these things head on instead of trying to pretend they simply don't exist. (Plus, being off the pills makes me incredibly dizzy among other things and that just sucks).

Not a good week for so many reasons.

Silly babies...

Marcus cleaned out the trunk of our car the other day and brought in a box of clothes that had been given to me and also found a tutu. The babies thought this box of clothes was super exciting and Eli grabbed the tutu ran over to me and wanted it on. Not to be outdone by her brother Emerson grabbed the first shirt she saw in the box.

Aren't they cute playing dress up? 

A difference...

One of the thing that constantly strikes me is the level of innate fear present in the majority of women that men never think twice about. (Stick with me I have a point). On Tuesday nights I have youth group with my middle school and high school students. We end officially at 8:30 but sometimes due to talking, cleaning up etc. We all leave closer to nine. Add to the equation that we are a downtown church in the middle of casinos, bars, homelessness etc. Being out at night can sometimes be unnerving.

As such I always inquire where my high schoolers parked and then if necessary accompany them to their vehicles. When I ask my male high school seniors, they roll their eyes and often respond with a sarcastic tone, "I'm fine I'm a big boy." Where as when I ask my girls they automatically understand and appreciate my concern and respond, "We parked right out front, we drove with each other so we've got each others back." They get it. As females their concern is different and it's heightened.

On Tuesday night as I accompanied two of my senior high girls to their car there was a homeless man standing right at the entrance of our church. He tried to approach the girls and started talking to them, but they both quickly kept walking and got into their car. I then headed back to the building (behind locked doors) and asked the man if he needed something. He claimed he didn't and I went back in to finish shutting of the lights and gathering my belongings.

Then I faced my own dilemma. How did I get to my car safely? I peaked through the window and saw that he was still standing there. So I waited several minutes hoping he would leave, and looked again. He was still there. At one point I stuck my head out the door and said, "hello" and then popped back inside. (I was hoping he was gone).

At this point I called Marcus and asked him if he thought I was being a baby because I was going to call the non-emergency police line and have them escort the man off the property/escort me to my car. Marcus told me to do what I needed to do so I punched the number in my cell phone and as I was headed out I ran into one of our custodians who lives upstairs in the church's apartment.

I was hugely relieved and asked if he would stand at the door as I walked to my car. He was throughly confused by my request not understanding what the issue was. It's not as though I expected him to do anything per say but often just the presence of another person will deter someone.

In the end all was well, but it got me thinking once again about a conversation I had with Marcus after I returned home from my summer studying in Spain.

I simply asked him, "When you walk down the street, or are in a parking lot by yourself to you feel afraid. Do you fear for your safety?" His response was a simple shrug and, "not really."

I then explained to him that I, and most of the women I have had this conversation with do. When I walk outside alone, mostly at night I have an overlying level of fear. In Spain this was one of the most challenging aspects. We were placed with host families in various neighborhoods in the city of Seville. Therefore, we were spread all over the city.

I lived in the same neighborhood as two of my closest friends in Spain and so we always walked each other home. The issue was that I lived the farthest away. The other two never arrived at their apartments alone, but as I dropped them off I was left to walk the remaining four blocks by myself and it was deeply unsettling, and my friends felt the same way. We always departed with the simple request, "Text me when you get home."

It was an unspoken understanding and we wanted confirmation about ones safety. It was late often past 10 (this is the nature of Spanish culture). I was alone and we were in residential neighborhoods far away from where any large groups of people would be. During these four blocks home I walked as swiftly as I could, I intentionally carried little with me, if I saw a couple or even better a family I awkwardly tagged along with them, and I often crossed back and forth across the street depending on who was on the other side. Often a single male walking alone triggered a need to cross the street (not always some were more menacing than others). Keep in mind this is also the same city where men frequently whistled, grabbed, made comments, and one guy even ran up and licked my face (although that was not the norm clearly) all in the daylight so at night I felt even more vulnerable.

On one of our last nights in Spain a group of us went to the Bull Fights which ended a little after midnight. We then all went our ways to our various neighborhoods. This evening there was a group of about 6 of us walking in the same direction and finally it was just me and one other guy from the program. He lived a couple blocks away from me.

I was grateful that for once I would have someone accompany me all the way home, especially since it was later than usual. Yet, we reached the road where he turned left and I turned right and he looked at me and said, "see you tomorrow" and walked away.

He obviously had none of the same concerns about walking home alone at night and he seemed oblivious to the fact that walking two extra blocks to get me home would have eased a great deal of tension.

As an adult male he simply wasn't concerned and it didn't occur to him that I might be. Much like Marcus had never really thought about it. After explaining all of this to Marcus I made him promise that should he ever be in a situation where he can walk someone a few extra blocks home (especially a female) just do it.

It sucks that so many women exist with an overarching sense of fear. A fear that my friends and I didn't even have to communicate with each other we simply felt it and knew.

There's a really incredible monologue that's part of Eve Ensler's collection A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and a Prayer that so fully speaks to this fear. (I'll have to look it up when I get the chance).

I think I'll be having a larger discussion with the youth group about this very thing. Especially since so many of them are off to college next year. A talk about safety, a talk with the guys who roll their eyes at my concern, and a talk about why we feel this way and what we can do to combat it. Women should not have to exist with fear.

Long and random I know but it was on my mind.

I miss my babies part II...

This is the second part because lately between my primary job commitments and then the extra hours of tutoring on top of that I feel like I don't ever get to see Eli & Emerson and it sucks.

On Tuesdays for example I only see them briefly in the mornings and then they're in bed by the time I get home from leading my youth group. This is going to become a larger problem during Lent because in addition to my Tuesday youth group during Lent I'm going to be teaching an Adult education class at my church on Wednesday evenings. Which means another night when I won't get home until after they're in bed.

It really really sucks and I'm not sure what to do about it. I picked up the tutoring job because frankly we need the extra money. That said I've already cut down on my students since it was taking me an hour round trip to drive to the tutoring location, thus creating two more evenings when I didn't really see the babies. I don't feel as though I can fully eliminate the tutoring job completely due to money constraints and my commitment to the kids I'm working with.

Couple this with the fact that physically I can't keep up with these demands. I hurt almost all the time, the Crohns thing is annoying pretty much all the time, I'm tired all the time. I don't know what to do and right now there aren't really any great solutions.

I need to figure out a better way to take care of myself physically (time for exercising). Mentally, down time that doesn't involve work. This morning I woke up at 5am and sent a panicked email to our administrator about something that needed to be edited in the newsletter before it's printed (this is just madness), and I need more time with my babies. I miss them and they miss me.

I love working and I could never stay at home full time, but I do wish there was some way for me to have a greater balance between time with Eli & Emerson and the commitment to work.

I imagine this will continue to be an ongoing struggle.

I miss my babies...

but spending some time with my husband this weekend has been nice too. Eli & Emerson are with their grandparents this weekend since Marcus and I had to make a trip over the mountain into California for a work related meeting (for me). I miss them so much and I have all of these anxious worries about them even though I know they're fine and being spoiled and loved.

Marcus and I have had a great time just the two of us. I can't even remember the last time it was just us two. On friday we went went bowling with some of my family who were in town, on saturday I had a work day at the church and Marcus was actually able to come and help (instead of having to stay with the babies).

We also saw Adam Sandler's new movie in the theater saturday afternoon. I don't remember the title but it was really good (Adam Sandler movies can go either way sometimes).

This morning we woke up at 5 for our drive over the mountain, back to the city where I attended undergrad. This city was our first home after we were married and I love, love, love my undergraduate school and university.

We attended our old church, and I just got to sit in the pews and listen. Then I had a very successful meeting and we drove home.

We'll be retrieving the babies sometime tomorrow. I can't wait to see them.

Not a good day...

I worked 12+ hours

My crohns was really bad today

Work stuff that I can't share because it's confidential but drives me nuts

I didn't see my babies all day except this morning while I got ready for work :(

Tomorrow isn't shaping up to be much better

It's suppose to snow for the first time in two months tomorrow and I have places to go

I need a vacation

Funny/ Weird things people say to me...

I tutor 6 kids 10 hours a week and sometimes the things the kids say to me are hilarious. For one of my students we were working with a thesaurus to find some synonyms. I chose the word "happy" and we looked it up and together we read through some of the other words for "happy" when we got to "Gay" my student (a 5th grade boy) looked at me and said, "gay doesn't mean happy" I then explained that it was actually quite common many many years ago to use gay to mean happy but we also know that it means other things today. He nodded following what I was saying and said, "So back in 1984 they used gay to mean happy." Apparently to him the year of my birth 1984, 26 years ago is many many years ago.

Before I left he boldly declared, using his new found knowledge, "I am so gay that I own a dog."  Job well done Sadie, job well done hahaha.

:::

In a similar conversation with a 6th grade boy I tutor we were reading sentences and using context clues to discovering the meaning of unknown words. The sentence started, "Back in the day scribes used to handwrite manuscripts." I asked if the first part "back in the day" gave us a clue and he said, "Yes it means a long time ago like in 1994."

Haha that made me feel even older that to this boy 1994 was a long time ago. Hilarious.

:::

In weird comments I took Emerson to the ENT doctor today and as we were both sitting in the waiting room a women said,

"How old is she?"

"21 months"

Here response to this was,

"Are you and her dad small too?''

Say what? I was so confused. For one I was sitting in front of her so she could see pretty accurately how big I am and I didn't understand the rest of the question or fully grasp what she was getting at. I finally guessed that she was asking why Emerson looked so small (I don't even know if she does compared to other 21 months olds. I only have Eli to gauge and they're pretty much the same size).

It was super bizarre she tried to continue the conversation and when I mentioned Emmy had a twin brother the infamous question, "So you must be done right?"

I hate that question and we get asked it all the time. For one it is not polite to inquire about the family planning of complete stranger (or depending on the relationship even someone you know). Second, having a one boy and one girl was never our ultimate aim. We wanted a child period the sex of said child was inconsequential to us. Had we had two of the same sex our family planning decisions would not be altered.

I was annoyed and luckily she moved to go watch her 4 year old son in the play room.

I give her bonus points though for not asking if they were identical.

Watching Eli with Marcus is hilarious...

Right now as I type Marcus is searching for a remote Eli lost. Marcus got on his knees and looked under the couch, so Eli got on his knees to look under the couch.

Marcus remained on his knees and was "walking" on his knees. Close behind Eli is also slowly "walking" on his knees.

Marcus moves his arm, Eli moves his arm. It's hilarious.

This morning Marcus was reading an ESPN magazine. Eli not wanting to be left out grabbed an avon magazine that was laying around. Together they sat there and read. When Marcus turned a page, Eli did too, and then looked at his dad with a smile.

It's so hilarious and adorable.

*****

Emmy is still sick and still running a fever. It's down to only 102 but she's so lethargic and just doesn't look well. I wish I didn't have to work tonight and tomorrow. I just want to sit and cuddle with my sick baby girl.

Emmy & another ER visit...

we took her in again tonight because her fever reached 104.1, the doctors couldn't find anything wrong except the fever. No flu, no rsv, no ear infections. I really need us to all be healthy and stay that way.

The Moon...

Eli and Emerson discovered the moon today...

They said, "ball, ball, ball, ball" and pointed. Close enough my genius babies.

Hearing Test...

Today Eli & Emerson had a hearing test at the request of their speech therapist. I took them by myself, despite Marcus' warnings that it was not a good idea to be out numbered by the babies. I figured that the worse thing that could happen is they would both melt down and that would suck but we would all survive. (Marcus couldn't come because he's been watching another little girl all week so he stayed home with her).

I used the stroller of course because they are not to be trusted unconstrained and we did fine until it was time for the doctor to look in Emmy's ears. I think she's still really freaked out from her hospital stay because when the doctor came near her she starting shaking, crying and panicking.

Eli was fine still strapped in the stroller for the looking in the ear part but the soon wanted out. The actual testing of their hearing was interesting. First, I took Emmy with me into a sound both and was instructed not to move or respond to anything. So I started straight ahead as they started playing different kinds of sound with different tones. Then occasionally a really bright light and noise with a toy inside would go off.

Eli during this was hanging out with the doctor outside the both and he kept trying to open the door and escape. He was also opening drawers he's a little too curious for his own good. For Eli I kept Emmy in the sound both with some toys and she played on the floor and held Eli and we repeated the process.

According to the doctor today they both have moderate hearing loss and neither of their ear drums are moving like they should. Since Eli is getting over an ear infection and Emmy doesn't feel well the next step is to get them healthy and retest and see if they improve.

So that's that. It wasn't something good to hear but I feel mostly okay about it because we have all the information. They were sick or recovering for a sickness today that impacts things. Hopefully the retest when they're healthy (assuming that ever happens) will show that all is well.

I apologized to the doctor for coming in shorthanded but she said I did fine so I'm just going to believe her, plus Marcus was impressed. He refuses to take both of them to a doctor by himself. (Not that I really blame him it is easier with the two of us).

Emmy already has an appointment with an ENT on Monday to check her adenoids and tonsils. She snores like an old man which isn't normal for such a tiny girl. However, it's looking like now Eli will need one too for his ears infections.

I'm so tired of doctors and appointments.

Now Emerson has a fever...

of 102.7 I'm so over this. Seriously so incredibly over it. I'm hoping it's some weird fluke and she'll wake up fine. Wishful thinking perhaps but we have been sick forever.

Dentist...

I have dental insurance yay!! This is probably mostly only exciting for me since I haven't had dental insurance since I was married (7.5 years ago today). So in that 7.5 years I've been to the dentist ***coughtdakfjdajonetimecoughaldjfaldj***. So once my 6 month waiting period was over, (for all those pesky pre-existing conditions which probably include just having teeth if it's anything like the rest of the insurance world), I very eagerly made my appointment. I'm happy to report that I'm still cavity free! Not a single one my streak is still alive.

I do have to get my wisdom teeth pulled at some point and I have to go see an orthodontist on Monday for some severe TMJ but I'm just relieved that despite my past insurance issues my teeth are no worse for the wear.

I also talked to the doctor about Eli & Emerson and when they should be seen. He said not until they're 3, but we can bring them in before for a free exam to get them used to the dentist. So we might do that at some point soon. I imagine Emerson will be freaked out but who knows they often surprise me.

I really liked this dentist. He was very kind, took his time, answered all of my questions, and even gave me a lesson on flossing. I think if I actually flossed the way he instructed it would take about an hour, but I'll try to do as the doctor advises.

Not one of my finer moments...

I'd like to think I'm a fairly intelligent person. Yet, on almost a daily basis I am reminded that I really lack in some of the more elementary things in life. For example pumping gas. I don't do it and I've gotten away with not pumping gas for almost the last 9 years.

Please don't revoke my feminist card but pretty much since I started dating my now husband Marcus I haven't had to get gas. In high school Marcus' car was always broken and so I let him use my on pretty much a daily basis. I joke with him now that I was the best girlfriend ever because I gave him a car, and since he used it all the time he always just put more gas in it for me.

Then after we were married and moved away to college we lived on my university campus. I could walk to school, work, or church in a matter of minutes so driving wasn't an issue. Where as Marcus commuted to both work and school so once again he just filled up the tank.

Fast forward to our three years in Connecticut for graduate school and we once again lived on my campus. I worked on campus, all of my doctors were on campus, I could even walk to my internship site should I desire and the places I couldn't walk Yale had a very efficient bus system. So no need for me to fill up I never drove.

But now reality has set in. I'm the one working and tutoring. These days I drive more than Marcus and when I got in the car today to head to work I saw the bright light of the empty gas sign.

I frantically texted Marcus, "um there's no gas, you think I'll run out?"

Pretty calm about the whole thing he says, "Well maybe just get some gas." Yeah easy for him to say, but since I'm brave these days/ on anti-anxiety medication I decided I'd try it.

I pull up and I actually manage to get the gas tank on the side it needs to be so I'm off to a good start. Then I start reading and following the instructions provided. Put my card in, pull it out quickly, type in my zip code, select gas, begin pumping gas. Easy...

I made it all the way through the type in zip code step but for the life of me couldn't get the rest of the pump to actually work. I hit the selection button over and over. I awkwardly stood in the parking lot trying to see if I was missing a step somewhere.

Finally, after several minutes some guy comes out of the store and yells, "Miss you need to lift up the lever."

"The lever which lever?"

He directs me, lever is up, hose in the cars gas tank and I push the button. Nothing comes out. I wait and push, and wait. I look around for the guy who shouted at me before and when I finally see him shout, "Excuse me sir but nothing is coming out."

At this point he just looks exasperated and says he'll find someone to assist me.

A very unfriendly attendant came out to assist me and he very easily got the gas flowing and walked away. "Wait sir, ummm how do you make it stop."

Good lord, I felt and I'm sure I looked like a huge idiot.

I can write papers,
I can read a book in a day
I have a masters degree from Yale
but pumping gas...

nope not for me.

21 Months old Today...

I never did get around to making their 20 month post oops. I kept meaning to but then there was the hospital and stuff and I just didn't. But they're 21 months and just three short months away from being two.

They're so cute right now and at such a fun age most of the time. Although neither of them say many words. Emerson says: Hi, daddy, baby, puppy, mama, ball, uh oh & Eli says: Hi, dada, ball, mama, uh and quack quack so we're not too far along with the speaking (and they're speech therapist says we want for them to have 50 words by two) but they do mimic our actions all the time.

The other day Emerson got ahold of my make brush and put it all over her face and you could tell she was just so proud of herself and this morning she had my deodorant (with the cap on) and she was putting it under her arms. (She watches me get ready for work every morning).

Eli is Marcus shadow and literally follows him all over the house. If Marcus goes to the kitchen Eli follows, if Marcus goes to the bathroom Eli follows. If Marcus leaves the house without Eli, Eli has a meltdown and stands by our garage door and asks for dada.

Eli especially copies are actions and Marcus is always saying "oops" I didn't think he was watching me. Like when Marcus took them to the park and spit (which I hate and ask him not to do) Eli then proceeded to spit. Marcus will toss his shoe to the side and Eli will throw his across the room. Pretty much everything Marcus does Eli tries to do too which is adorable and hilarious.

Emerson is also at a stage where she wants to do everything herself and she gets very frustrated when she can't or we insist on helping her. This drives Marcus crazy but I just tell him she's an independent woman.  She also has the best sound affects. She can't say a whole lot but she has an expressive sound for everything. I wish we could mic her because it's so funny. She's clumsy and when ever she trips or falls she always makes her noises, "oof, oh, umpf" in her cute little voice.

They both sleep well at night although Eli whines or cries in his sleep every single night. Sometimes he'll go back to sleep and sometimes he requires one of us to go and comfort him. I don't know what that's about.

Overall they're just funny crazy toddlers. (Oh and they still haven't mastered the sippy cup or any cup for that matter so we still have the freaking bottles which I'm so over).

Another ER visit...

I mentioned yesterday that Eli had a fever and it was worse today. When he woke up from his nap he had a fever of 103.3. We called the doctor around 3:30 and their response to us, "Our day is pretty much over so you'll need to take him to the urgent care or ER."

Thanks for your help so off Marcus went. He has ear infections and a sore throat. Hopefully he'll feel better soon and we can all stay well for a long time.

How to tell your confirmation class...

needs more work. I'm teaching the 7th & 8th grade confirmation class at my church right now. We're a mainline protestant progressive church and most of these kids have been attending their entire life so I figured they would know some of the basics. Wrong assumption. Today we were talking about what Christianity is, pretty basic right. Here's some of their answers to my questions.

Name some of the various Christian denominations...
"Methodist...." (which is what we are so), then blank stares. Finally one of the youth said "Jewish". um.... no. "Islam..." um no. Then another girl, "There's one that starts with an A, it's not autism (clearly), it sounds like angel..."

"Do you mean Anglican?"

"Yes that's it I knew it".

Now if only that were the worst of it. Next question...

Name the three parts of the trinity...
"Is that another kind of church?"
"Jesus, God, the devil"
Then more blank stares.

After reading the Apostles creed and the line about Jesus being, "Born of the virgin Mary"...

"Wait a minute how could she be a virgin and have a child?" Which granted I give them that question. There are many things about our theology that are really hard to understand the trinity, the virgin birth, the resurrection. So I proceeded to talk to them about what our tradition says. I was interrupted by this lovely gem...

"So the holy spirit had sex with Mary? Is there some kind of name for ghosts who have sex with people?"
This just prompted a lot of discussion about ghosts and what they can and cannot do. Then there was some mass confusion about Joseph and what his role was in the whole thing.

Oh my we have a lot of work to do. At least they were showing some interest though as things I thought were pretty basic seem brand new to them.

Emerson gets in these moods...

where she's the happiest, funniest, most delightful baby every and today was one of those days. She just acts super goofy and smiles all day. Marcus and I both love these days and were especially glad that she's feeling so much better (even though Eli is sick again).

Her commentary during the super bowl was adorable, especially since her vocabulary is so limited. It went a lot like this,

"ball!" (with lots of pointing each time she saw the football).

"bay bee" (on certain commercials). Then when the commercial would go away I would ask, "Emerson where did the baby go?"

Her response, a shrug with both her hands up to suggest "I don't know"

Then arms up during each touchdown, with lots of gibberish in between silly kid.

Eli on the other hand laid on his daddy's lap poor sick baby.

Eli is sick again...

Today Marcus ended up having to fill in for the nursery staff at the church (one of the many joys of being married to a minister). When I came in after the service to check on everyone Eli was asleep in Marcus arms. Clue one that he didn't feel good because the boy never ever falls asleep like that.

When we got him home he had a fever of 102.4 and he just looks awful. (Had we known he was sick we never would haven taken him to church in the first place).

We just need a break and because I'm super lucky I get to wake up at 6:00am and go to a work related meeting in the capital tomorrow. Even though tomorrow is my day off. Joy, joy, joy. 

Just a few things...

* In the last few days Emerson has a added a couple new words to her vocabulary. She now says Daddy and it's so cute. Two very clear distinguished syllables "da - dee" it's so cute.

* She's also started tackling Eli. She runs at him, throws her arms around him, and then they both go down laughing. I told Marcus this is what happens when the only TV they've ever really watched is football games.

* Speaking of football. We don't have cable or any channels on our TV. Any television we watch is from netflix or on-line. Marcus found a german station that showed all of the NFL football games so he's been able to watch them all season long. Today he went to the site and there's a huge banner covering the page informing everyone that the department of homeland security has shut down the site. Eek and oops. Then he was mad that he's not going to be able to watch the super bowl on line.

* Emmy had a doctor appointment today. She has an awful diaper rash that won't go away. We also wanted to get a referral to an ENT. She snores like an old man and always sounds like she can't breathe. We've been telling doctors this forever but no one really takes it seriously. Finally the doctor today got a look in her mouth and said her adenoids do look enlarged and we finally got a referral.

* While Emmy was at the doctor Eli hung out at work with me. Oh my lord that boy is curious. He tried to get into everything. I got no work done but Eli although he had a bit of a meltdown when I wouldn't let him play in the sanctuary...

* I finished my first full week of tutoring. It's a lot more work than I was anticipating. I have to create 12 lesson plans a week and pretty much have to find/create all my own resources (which was not communicated to me by the company). Aside from that though I don't actually mind it too much. One of my students is spanish speaking and his mom doesn't speak any English. Today during our session it was like I was tutoring the whole family. The mom and my student's sister sat on the couch and listened as I taught and I could hear them talking to each other about the things I was teaching. (For example I heard them saying "there, their, & they're" and then trying to remember how to use each as I was working on it with my student).

* My crohns medication cost $300 a month. We can't afford that I'm in the process of trying to figure out how to manage this new expense. From looking on-line I see they have a discount program but I have to call and see if I qualify. In the mean time I've been off the medication for a week and that's no good at all.

* Eli lost our keys today. Marcus and I spent an hour looking in every single place we could think of all over our house. We finally found the keys stuffed inside the subwoofer (is that how you spell that?) of our surround sound system. Crazy kid.

* I finished Delirium by Lauren Oliver. I loved it!

How to keep his clothes on?

Today Marcus laid a fully clothed Eli down in his crib for a nap. He had on a t-shirt, jeans, socks, and a diaper.

When marcus went to check on him in didn't have a single article of clothing on. I'm sort of impressed that he can actually get off all the clothes (yay for new motor skills right?) But at the same time we can't have the boy disrobing all the time. The potential for mess is to great and it's not restricted to nap. If we aren't watching carefully throughout the day he slowly slithers out of his clothing. This is a problem... (he hasn't mastered zippers yet though as far as I know).

2011 To do list January review...

This year I made some goals or a to-do list that I'm hoping to accomplish in 2011. My list is here, in order to keep myself accountable I'm going to review the list each month and see what progress (if any) I've made and Julie over at Book Hooked does something similar and I love that she calculates how much money she saves on books by buying used etc. So to keep myself on my book buying ban (put in place because we're paying down debt) I'm going to borrow that idea as well.

1.) Open a retirement account. I haven't done this yet but I have made some progress in the area. I found out that my work actually contributes to a retirement account. I have also been researching the best kind of account to open and places to open it at so this is progress.

2.) Pay off credit cards. I wish this one could be accomplished in a month but alas no. However we are taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and we have a very clear plan in place to attack the debt.  This past month I "found" $100 in a bank account I forgot I had and also found some savings bonds which will be cashed to go towards debt. We also sold a stroller and a TV on craigslist so we are on the right track. (Plus I didn't buy any books in the month of January).

3.) Start running/exercising = Huge FAIL. No exercise was had in January. Partly due to the fact that we were all super sick for the better part of the month. I must do better in February. (I did read a book about running though and felt inspired does that count?)

4.) My reading Goal of 150 in 2011. This month I read 14 books

• Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman
• Think Twice by Lisa Scottoline
• The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
• Father Melancholy's Daughter by Gail Godwin
• The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan
• Boys Will be Boys: The Glory Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty by Jeff Pearlman
• Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust by Immaculee Ilibagiza
• Financial Peace Revisited by Dave Ramsey
• Paper Towns by John Green
• As Nature Made Him: The Boy who was Raised as A Girl by John Colapinto
• Again to Carthage by John L. Parker Jr.
• Sliding into Home by Kendra Wilkinson
• Love is the Higher Law by David Levithan
• Outcasts United by Warren St. John

Total Books: 14

Books already owned: 4

Pages Read: 3,857

Money saved by buying used/visiting the library: $109.87 (I used amazon prices since that's where I buy almost all my books).

5.) Meal Plan = FAIL. Didn't do it at all. We must do better this month.

6.) Organize/throw stuff away - I went through a few drawers and our filing cabinet and threw away a few bags full of old papers that we no longer need. I also went through all of the babies memorabilia stuff from their first year and threw away what didn't need to be kept and organized the things which now need to be put in a baby book. Baby steps.