Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I'm so tired of worrying...

I thought once I found a job my stress would decrease but instead it's increased ten fold. I found out yesterday that my job will pay for my health insurance but not the rest of the family and to pay for them out of pocket is a HUGE amount of money. So now I'm worried about that.

Marcus still doesn't have a job but we need to find housing which is basically impossible to do because we don't even know what we can really afford. I also don't really have any idea of where to look in the new city and I don't have the energy to start making phone calls to random people. I know I need to get over that and find some energy (which I probably will tomorrow) but I just want that issue to go away.

I'm worried about finding child care for the babies that we can afford and feel comfortable with.

I'm so exhausted all the time and while I'm so incredibly excited about starting my new job I worry about being able to handle it with my fibromyalgia, Crohn's, Chronic fatigue combo (I'm not sure which of those is the worst but I feel awful 99% of the time) and also handle and balance the rest of my life.

I really miss our life, friends and routine in CT.

I'm a big whiner I know I just want to stop wondering how all of it will work. I know that somehow it will... and hopefully in a few months we'll have a new life, friends, and a routine with health insurance, housing, child-care and each of us happily employed, but in the meantime I sit and I worry about all of it.


Stacie said...

Although change is a great thing, it is extremely stressful and plain hard. Try not to be so hard on yourself!

I am sending you strength and good vibes for an awesome and productive day tomorrow. Hugs!

~Jess said...

Hoping things settle down soon and you find the energy to tackle everything.

That's odd that the employer doesn't cover insurance for the whole family. One thing to think of is medicaid/care (I get them confused) for the babies.

*hugs* and prayers