Happy Halloween! (And Nevada Day & Reformation Day)

We didn't actually go any where or do anything for Halloween but I wanted to dress the babies up, and since my school has a tradition of going to our Sinner's and Saints Halloween party in religiously themed attire I took the opportunity to construct some costumes for the babies. When I told Marcus what I wanted to do he thought I was nuts, but even he admits that they turned out pretty cute and completely hilarious.

They were actually pretty easy to make. I bought two toddler size black turtlenecks and cut the sleeves for the Cassock and Emerson's robe. Sewed buttons up the Cassock, used black and white bandanas for Emerson's Habit and nuns collar, used ribbon for Eli's clerical collar, rope, and a modified anchor to make the cross. Easy, cheap, and cute (in my completely biased opinion).

Fall...

Before we had kids I always used to tell Marcus that once we had them they better get to used to all kinds of photos. I wanted to put them in piles of leaves, snow, in front of flowers, in things, on things... you get the point. As I was walking home from class the perfect opportunity presented itself, a pile of leaves, just sitting there waiting for me to plop my babies in them. So I hurried home, dressed them, and off we went.

At first they both just seemed confused, which means no smiles.

Then Emerson decided she really didn't like it at all...

While Eli continued to lay there...

And lay there some more.

Emerson was much happier in her dad's arms.

While Eli continued to stare at the leaves.

Overall, it was mostly a success.

Hilarious...

Emerson really loves to hold onto fabric, and it's even better if she can put said fabric in her mouth. Today she got ahold of Eli's sleeve and was bound and determine to get that piece of fabric into her mouth. This resulted in a lot of screeching on her part, the force of her effort rolling her on her side, while Eli (Who has several pounds on his sister) laid there completely unfazed by the whole thing. It was hilarious.

6 hours...

That's what's standing between the babies qualifying and not qualifying for the synagis shot. I am not very happy at this moment.

I asked about it at their 4 month appointment and at that time their pedi. checked and said both babies qualified and a nurse would call to set up their schedule in October. The nurse finally called today to tell me that according to the new guidelines they no longer qualify. She was going to leave it at that, but I continued to ask questions about what exactly disqualified them. Which she hesitantly started to do (it was kind of amusing that she was trying really hard not to engage me any further about this, she just kept saying "Your boys don't need it" the boys comment is another issue with Emerson's name everyone thinks she's a boy).

Turns out that because the babies were born at 32 weeks exactly and not 31w6d they no longer qualify, and since they were born at 6:00am on the morning of 32 weeks they missed the deadline by 6 hours.

Well that's just not good enough for me so I asked the nurse if I could appeal that decision and she has now flagged something for our Pedi. to take care of. Hopefully it works out. I really, really want them to have the shots and I'm annoyed that we were told one thing last month only to be told so late in the game that they no longer qualify. Had I know earlier I could have started the whole appeals thing much sooner. I'm not letting 6 hours stand between the babies getting the shot (I hope).

Mark had H1N1...

and I find it kind of amusing. Not that he had the flu, because that sucks, but the circumstances surrounding his discovery that he had the flu. The H1N1 outbreak craze started when I was still in the hospital on bedrest, and Marcus was really freaked out about it. (I wasn't because I read things and while people have died and that's not good, people die every year from the flu. Plus I was quarantined in the hospital bed and the babies weren't here yet so really I wasn't worried about it at all). Anyways, Marcus was just really paranoid about the whole thing at the onset.

Fast forward to the week after the babies come home from the NICU in June and Marcus feels sick. He's achy, he's tired (all symptoms in my opinion of having preemie twins in the NICU,) except they were accompanied by a fever and that made us really nervous with our two tiny babies just discharged from the NICU. So off Marcus went to the health center at his University.

After running a few tests they called to tell him he had the flu, they called it Influenza A (so in Marcus mind at the moment in June, "Okay at least it's not H1N1"). Marcus kept his distance from the babies, he recovered, the babies stayed well and we all moved on.

Fast forward to yesterday. Marcus calls that same university health center to inquire about receiving priority for the H1N1 since he is a caregiver for children under 6 months. At this point the nurse tells him,

"I don't think you'll need it"

"Umm, why not I haven't been vaccinated yet?"

"It looks like you had it this summer and probably have natural immunities."

Cue, Marcus' freak out.  "What?"

"THEY NEVER TOLD ME!"

hahaha in hindsight I find the whole thing hilarious. Marcus, who was so freaked out about H1N1 had it and didn't even know, and now 4 months later he's freaked out and mad that they called it Influenza A (which it is) and not swine flu or H1N1.

In the end he still went and got the H1N1 vaccine this morning, just as an extra measure.

I was joking with Marcus about when we heard on the news back in June that his University had a confirmed case, and how they were talking about him and we didn't even know it.

I also suppose this is really only funny to me but in a strange way I find the whole situation amusing, and they really did us a favor by not disclosing that it was H1N1 because I truly think in the moment it would have freaked Marcus out to a ridiculous level. Well actually I know it would have, he just told me a second ago that if he had known he wouldn't have even slept in our apartment.

Last night...

Both babies slept through the night! Emerson has done this a few other times, but this was a first for Eli. It was so weird not to get up with a baby until 6:30 am (they go to bed at 6:30 pm so it was a solid 12 hours of sleep) when Eli woke up "talking" (not screaming also a first). Then he went back to sleep until 8:30. Yay! We'll see if they repeat again tonight.

One year ago today...

I found out I was pregnant. It was the 34th month since we started trying for a baby, and I was completely shocked. I was so sure it was another failed month, and just a few days prior Marcus and I were discussing if we would continue the next month. Our tiny lifetime max. had already run out and this, our successful cycle, was completely out of pocket, and we didn't know if we could afford another month immediately.

It's crazy to think about what the last year has involved. Countless doctor appointments and ultrasounds, a total of 8 weeks of bedrest (3 weeks modified) and 5 weeks of that strict hospital bedrest, a delivery I wasn't awake for at 32 weeks, the NICU, tons of worry, and now the crazy exhaustion, frustration, and joy that comes with parenting twins.

There are still moments when I look at them and can't believe they're finally here. We finally have our family. There were moments when I truly doubted that would ever be a reality.

At this very moment...

Emerson is napping in her crib! This may not sound like much but it's the first time she's ever done that. Both babies only seem to want to nap in the swing (which we only have one of) or on one of us which is just not practical. So today I decided we would try napping in the crib. It started out okay she laid there looking around, then a few minutes later the crying started, and then after about 3 minutes of crying she went to sleep. This is huge, so huge. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about this development.

Now we just need to work on Eli, who is currently napping in the swing. Maybe we can get on some kind of nap schedule, wishful thinking perhaps but one can dream.

ETA: The nap only lasted 30 min. But if was 30 min where both kids were sleeping, that never happens during the day.

Emerson...

look at her brother and giggled today. Hilarious.

Eating issues... again.

Emerson has recently decided that she just doesn't have the time, attention span, or desire to eat.  I don't know exactly what her reason is but getting the girl to eat these days is a frustrating task for both of us. She does well with the first bottle of the day in the morning and with the bottle right before bed. The bottles in between however are a fight.

She turns her head, cries, spits the milk back out at me (or blows bubbles with it depending on her mood), twists her entire body, and then cries some more. This is not a reflux issue (it's different than when she cries from reflux). This is not an issue with the formula because she eats just fine in the morning and before bed. She just doesn't want to eat. Yesterday, she only ate 22 oz. Which is not enough for her age and weight so we had to get her up in the middle of the night (despite her desire to keep sleeping and give her a few more oz, similar to right after she was released from the NICU, we should be past this). Today she did a little better and with much time and effort (on my part) she ate 24 oz, which according to her pediatrician is at the very low end of normal.

I don't know what to do. I do know that I don't have the energy to fight with her every time she eats. I'm also worried that this eating issue will affect her weight gain and she's already on the tiny side. I guess the only thing that helped was Eli was in a particularly good mood today, the only time he cried is when Emerson accidently hit him in the face (a hazard of being a twin), and when he was too excited and moved himself enough on the changing table that he hit his head, poor baby.  He's also willing to eat pretty much any time we offer him food.

In other news, Emerson is obsessed with a key ring rattle we have that has a light on it. When we show it  to her, her arms start flailing her mouth opens, and she can hardly contain her excitement. (It was during this excitement that the, Emerson hitting Eli in the face incident occurred, she was just too excited). She also thinks my singing is hilarious and it gets a giggle out of her every time.

Eli, has recently decided that having his clothes changed is hilarious. Anytime the shirt goes over his head he laughs. I'm not really sure what's so funny about it, but it's adorable how much he loved being on the changing table.

They also both like the mirror these days. Especially Emerson. She'll smile at herself and then bury her head into our shoulder like she's embarrassed.

My cute babies despite the very frustrating moments.

The monstrosity of an RSV letter to my friends...

I sent this email to my friends today. It's incredibly long, but it his some important points about flu and RSV season. They already know that I'm crazy hand washing/hand sanitizing lady but this was just a reminder of why and some more info. It's soooo long, but I felt it was important enough to send out.
Hi friends, If you're getting this email it's because you

a.) either watch my babies on a regular basis,
b.) have watched my babies and may again
c.) have offered to watch the babies and may at some point watch them or be around them.

I know this looks long, but it explains some of my craziness around hand washing and sanitizing.

Now that Fall is upon us and Winter is right around the corner, I wanted to take this time to remind everyone that RSV season is here (October thru April). For those of you who are unaware what RSV is, RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus), is more than just a cold. It's a serious and contagious virus for young children especially those born less than 36 weeks. (Eli and Emerson arrived at 32 weeks). What is a common cold or mild cough for us as adults can manifest itself into something more dangerous to the babies if they are exposed to it, especially our babies who were born prematurely.

It is very, very easy to contract RSV. It is spread by physical contact (such as shaking hands with an infected person) or thru the air (usually from sneezing or coughing). RSV can also live for several hours on surfaces, such as doorknobs, telephones, faucet handles, counters or used tissues, towels, etc. RSV infections are very common in areas where people are crowded together. In homes where there are multiple children, such as us, RSV can spread very rapidly from child to child. And older children can even bring the virus home from school or
a friend's house.

Eli and Emerson are considered high-risk. Marcus and I have received our flu shots but the babies have not because they are not yet old enough to get one. The babies will however receive the synagis shot. A shot that will help prevent or lessen the effects of RSV. If babies the age of Eli and Emerson get RSV it can be really problematic with breathing. If either baby gets it they will most likely have to be hospitalized due to their prematurity it may even be fatal.

Even though the babies are getting big, are doing so well, and are otherwise healthy, we still need to be extra careful (maybe even anal) about illness, especially RSV.

So with that, we would like to ask visitors, that if or when you come over, to please wash your hands before touching the babies (Which I know you already do). Please try to get a flu shot, if it's possible for you. (Of course we can't force any of you to do so but if you're so inclined). Also, please refrain from coming over if you are currently sick, or you were sick but have not been symptom-free for at least 7 days, or have been in contact with someone who is/was really sick.

We will not be venturing out much with the babies until Spring is here, unless we determine the environment will be safe and germ free for them at that particular time. (I know we sound like crazy people, sorry).

We really want to make it through the winter without ending up in the hospital. The babies lungs have come a long way, especially Emerson who need breathing assistance at birth. But their lungs are still very fragile, at least until they are two. And until them we have to be crazy germ people.

Thanks for indulging me in all of this. We appreciate the support that all you provide to us, and I truly feel at ease with the babies being in your care. I couldn't do this school thing without your help.

I also know that you all already are very diligent about washing hands, I just want to add an extra reminder since it's getting into the RSV season which is so dangerous for preemies. We are taking the threat of RSV very seriously.

Sorry, this was incredibly long. If you made it all the way through good work :~) Thanks again for all your help and support with the babies. Marcus and I cannot thank all of you enough.

Thank you all again!
Sadie, Marcus, Eli & Emerson

I got this response back from one of my friends (we have a classroom at our school called the RSV which stands for Revised Standard Version because we're just that cool around here).

I totally thought this was an email about the RSV room at first.

Never fear!  I will be washing my hands whenever I *think* of E&E.  And I don't think you sound like a crazy person at all -- just a very good mommy with two lucky little ones.

I have the best friends around here. Don't know how I would do this without them.

The things people say...

There's a sweet lady at my church who for the life of her cannot figure the babies out. Emerson's name really throws her off because in her mind it's a boys name, so she's constantly confused. Today we had a funny conversation with her.

OL: Do you have special tricks to tell the babies apart?

Me: Well one's a boy and one's a girl so it's pretty easy.

OL: I mean with their diapers on. How do you tell them apart?

Me: um... they look different?

Haha...

P.S. Emerson slept through the night again! Eli on the other hand woke up twice.

Emerson was also awaken from her nap during church today during a song with clapping. Each clap made her jump, eyes wide, looking at me in confusion. Funny baby.

So...

She didn't sleep through the night again. I guess it was just a one time thing, she woke up at 3:00 am to eat. Also Eli scratched his face in his sleep and woke up screaming and screaming.  Poor baby.

Emerson slept through the night!

Last night she slept for 12 hours and Eli only woke up once at 2:00 am. This is definitely progress, getting up once as opposed to four times. I hope it's not just a one time fluke. Although when they sleep for so long both Marcus and I worry. Marcus checked on them a bunch of times and I keep feeling Emerson to make sure she's not warm.

We're  so strange.  I hope they keep it up.

Giving "report"...

While on bedrest in the hospital and then during Eli and Emerson's NICU stay I became very familiar with my nurses and how at the end of each shift they gave report so the nurse taking over would know what had happened with (me) or the babies the previous shift.

It occurred to me today that Marcus and I, like the nurses, have to give "report" to one another. So we know who's eaten, how much, how the babies have been, if the baby has pooped yet, and all those very exciting things. Marcus left for class this morning and forgot to write down who he just fed, when, and how much. So I was texting him to get all of that information, lest I attempt to re-feed the same baby.

We do this pretty much every day because as soon as Marcus gets home I have to go to class or vice versa. It would be nice to be home at the same time someday. (Although today we get to spend 5 hours together since I don't have classes this week and Marcus has the day off, too bad it's raining/sleeting/snowing).

Babies first Pumpkin patch (kind of)....

We didn't actually go to a pumpkin patch because the closest one is 30 min. away and that's a lot of effort with two babies who don't really care at this point. So we went to a park next to our home, and "borrowed" some of the pumpkins from their greenhouse that they sell in the fall. Propping the babies up next to the pumpkins was kind of difficult and both babies seemed confused. So no smiles for us. Eli actually screamed in between pictures. They're wearing their cute Halloween onesies from their grandma and I made the leggings out of socks (because the real baby leg things are expensive). We think they're just adorable.

Marcus' thought for the day...

"It's so weird how they didn't know how to eat at all, and now they love it."

Deep thoughts... haha

Although, it is crazy though to think about how far they have come from their NICU days when they didn't know how to eat, to even getting them home where eating was still an incredibly difficult challenge for them, and just as frustrating for us.

Our little babies are getting so big.

Trying a new skill...

On one of the message boards I'm part of people always "brag" about their babies milestones. I pretty much ignore these because of the 
babies prematurity I have no idea what to expect from the babies and when. Plus I think a lot of people exaggerate their babies milestones. 
But I saw a post today about "tri-pod" sitting and some of the babies, who supposedly have mastered this skill are fairly young. So I thought I'd see how Emerson reacted to it. She can't tri-pod sit at all. She just folds all the way in half. However, she thought it was hilarious. We did it 
over and over each time her face pretty much going to the floor and she just laughed. I awkwardly tried to video it with one hand while still 
holding her. Funny baby. So no new skill, but a newfound form of entertainment.

5 Months Today

My little babies are five months old already. Crazy.

Emerson would not smile. We took about 20 shots trying to get one of both of them smiling. I think she was confused about being propped up on the couch this way. It was funny because after a few seconds they both just tipped over into each other.

The babies won't nap...

and they won't sleep and I'm tired. I don't know what their problems are but they refuse to nap on any consistent basis and they need to nap. Not napping just causes them to have meltdowns because they're over tired and over stimulated. Plus I can't continue to function with two crazy babies who refuse to nap.

They are also reverting in their sleep. Emerson used to go consistently from 7 until 3 without waking but these last few days she been waking up 3 or 4 times and Eli is even worse. I'm tired. Really really tired. I don't know what to do. They won't eat any more than they're eating during the day so I know some of the waking is because their hungry, but we would all just be happier if we could figure out this sleep thing.

As a side note Emerson has discovered that she can blow bubbles with her spit, as a result she's a little spit and drooling machine. And she constantly blows bubbles, plays with her spit in her mouth, and sticks out her tongue it's hysterical and a huge mess.

What we've been up too the last two weeks.

I've been insanely busy, but I thought I would do a quick re-cap post of the last two weeks. So I apologize if this gets long.

***I turned 25***
Sept. 21st was my 25th birthday, and according to Marcus, "I look like I'm halfway to 50." umm... thanks love. It was a fairly uneventful birthday. Marcus worked, I had class, then we all went to bed. The babies did get me some presents though. They each bought me one earring (that together made a set) and a mother's necklace that has their names on it. Marcus bought me a sigg bottle. I've been asking for one of those forever and finally someone took me seriously. And my friend Jess gave me the cutest willow tree figures of twins. So adorable. I'm blessed to have found such a great friend, who has been a huge source of support during our IF, pregnancy, and now twin parenthood. I'm so excited that she'll be welcoming her own daughter sometime this month.

Both babies loved my birthday balloon. Once it was overhead as I was feeding Eli and he stopped eating and just stared (With his mouth open). Too distracted by it to eat. Adorable.

***I attempted to take the babies to class = major FAIL***
I've had an impossible time trying to find someone to watch the babies during one of my classes. I had the first hour covered but needed to find someone for the second half and as of two weeks ago I still hadn't. So I emailed my professor to let her know I would have to leave an hour early. Her response, "No worries. You can bring them along if you'd like."

I'm pretty sure she had no idea what she was suggesting, but I decide, what the heck might as well. Yeah, bad plan. She emailed my about 30 min. before class so we had to leave right then to get to school on time. Emerson had just eaten but she decided this would be the perfect moment for a major meltdown, and Eli still needed to eat. I decided I would get to the school feed Eli and hopefully Emerson would calm down (and go to sleep) on the walk over. Not so much. I walked through the school with my two screaming babies, attempting to find a place where I could camp out and finish feeding Eli, while trying to rock Emerson in the stroller to calm her down. Eli decided this would be an ideal time to poop all over, and my lovely school does not have a changing table, so I had to put him down on the floor on a blanket and try to clean the mess up there. (I'm currently lobbying my university to put a changing table in one of the bathrooms. I'm not the only one with babies). Besides it would be more pleasant for everyone involved if I didn't have to change them in the hallways.

At this point I realized that actually taking them to class with me was not an option. So I frantically texted a friend, who bless her, took my two screaming babies and my keys and walked them back to my apartment. She then found someone to watch them during the second half of class and all was well. My friend also informed me that after having to bring both babies back to the apartment and hang out with them for an hour she has a newfound respect for me. It was quite the production and the babies first graduate class will have to wait.

***Emerson helped me do Laundry because she never, ever, naps crazy girl***

***Eli on the other hand naps all the time***

He was so cute with his little butt up in the air.

***Emerson had her hips checked again on 9/23***
During their 4 month appointment our pediatrician still had some concern about Emerson's hips. She is still quite "froggy legged" and there's still popping and clicking. So she sent us to an orthopedic specialist this time (last time she just had an ultrasound). The doctor did an x-ray and another examination and everything at this point is okay. The clicking at this moment isn't anything to worry about which is a relief.

On our way out of the doctor's office some lady basically cornered us trying to get a look at the babies. She stood in the doorway and then circled around us. Very strange.

***I became an aunt again***

Marcus' brother and his wife welcomed Cassandra Maxine on September 28th she was 5lbs 8oz. Tiny, beautiful, and perfect. There has been a major baby boom this year in my family. Together in 2009 we've welcomed 6 new babies. Eli is rapidly becoming outnumbered by girls, which is a trend in my family. (I have 1 brother and 4 sisters).

***I gave the sermon at my church***

Which was incredibly nerve-wracking, but it went really well and I had positive responses from people. Marcus also did a great job juggling both babies, while sitting in the pews without me. I loved looking out and seeing him with our babies. It was a mental picture we had imagined in our heads many times during our years TTC and it had finally come to fruition.

***Emerson learned to roll from tummy to back and figured out she has two hands***

Very exciting stuff.

***Emerson had a huge, major, blow-out all over me***

OMG, it was the most awful experience. I was holding her when she pooped and when I moved my hand to go and change her it was covered. I then look at my pant leg and it too was completely covered, as was her entire leg, and back of the onesie. It was the worst mess and I literally couldn't move because if I did would get all over. All I could find was a bib to wipe off some of my pants (Which then immediately went into the garbage). By this point Emerson had put her hand in it and was happily flailing her arms around as I tried to keep her hands out of her mouth.

Once onto the changing table I just didn't know where to begin, it was every where. For some reason none of it went in the diaper (the diaper was basically empty) instead it just came out the side and all over everything. As I attempted to remove the onesie the mess just increased. It took forever to get her clean and bathed because it was just too much, plus my entire outfit was covered, my pants, shirt etc. Oh my it was traumatic. And as a relayed my trauma to Marcus over the phone he just laughed at me. My tiny, innocent looking little girl makes the biggest messes.

***I got hand sanitizer in both eyes***

To add to my growing list of awesome mom moments I basically blinded myself. We have hand sanitizer all over because the babies were premature and we're doing our best to keep them healthy. We keep one next to the changing table and it's running empty, so in an effort to get the last of the sanitizer out I was hitting the pump with my hand, which caused the sanitizer to squirt directly in both eyes, with Eli still on the changing table. I couldn't really open my eyes, so as I squinted through the burning pain, I blindly carried Eli over to his crib, while I tried to read the label to see if I was going to be blind forever. Luckily, after rinsing my eyes out with water all seems to be well. An unexpected hazard, and a lesson learned. Marcus also found this pretty amusing.  He's pretty sure he misses out on all the fun while he's at work.

***I said good-bye to this thing...***

After 20 weeks of pumping I have officially 100% weened. I feel a little sad/guilty about that because I was hoping to make it to 6 months, but it just wasn't practical anymore. And it's really nice to have those several hours of my day back.

That's all I can think of at the moment. We're hanging in there and hopefully I can find some time to keep up with the blogging on a more regular basis.

Emerson...

loves her dad. (Eli does too) but Emerson seems to have a special fondness for Marcus. She searches for him in the rooms, she pretty much only laughs for her dad, when he walks into her line of sight her entire face lights up.

The funniest part is the days when Marcus works all day. Marcus will come home in the evening and feed the babies their bedtime bottle. Emerson, no matter how hungry she is, just smiles (milk running down her face), and 'talks' to Mark. It's almost as though she's telling him all about her day and the things she did.  Completely hysterical and makes her bottle take forever because she's just to happy and excited to finally see her dad after missing him all day.