I hate....

the conversations where people start saying ignorant hurtful things (even though they don't know or realize they're saying stupid hurtful things).

My brother and his wife were over this evening and somehow we got on the conversations about babies. I think because we have several cousins who are pregnant. My brother mentioned that he really wanted a son someday to carry on the family name, and I don't even know how it came up but talk about genetics became involved.

My brother was adamant that is was important that our family name not only be carried on but that it be carried on with his genetics.

I tried making points about people who were infertile, couples who adopt, same-sex couples where both partners can't contribute, and the name can still be carried on even without a genetic element, but he kept going and going... and I eventually just stopped talking and let my brother say his piece.

I could tell it bothered Marcus. I know my brother doesn't know about our IF and how Eli and Emerson came to be, but these kinds of comments hurt. I know we can't fully fault my brother for his comments because he wasn't intentionally trying to hurt us. (Although they were just kind of stupid comments in general). He has no way of knowing at this point that he was speaking about something that directly affects us.

After they left Marcus mentioned that we should have just told them. (Which I was tempted to do but I won't do until talking with Marcus). I suppose someday that conversation will have to happen.

:::

On a totally different note the reason my brother was over was to help Marcus get my massive bookshelf (it's 7ft tall 5ft wide) into my office at work since we don't have a truck.

My sister-in-law stayed at our house while the babies slept, and Marcus, my brother, and I went down to my church. I have been shown how to disarm and arm the alarm once and I was hoping I could remember how.

Yeah... turns out I didn't remember and I set the alarm off. It was loud and obnoxious and even though I called the company for assistance and asked them not to dispatch anyone, a guy from the church came down anyways.

At first when he came in he only saw Marcus and my brother and he was mad. When I came around the corner he was a little less irritated but I don't think he was very pleased about being called down for nothing. I was told the other day that accidently setting off the alarm is a $75 fee. I hope they take pity on me since this was my first attempt at using it.

Fun at the park...

This evening we walked to a park near our new home. Eli and Emerson were big fans. First we tried out the swings. 

They both loved it. Emerson kept giggling and laughing and they both just kept looking at each other. After the swings Marcus and I took them down the slide. Which was a huge fail as the slide was not really designed for adults and it was really slow. Then we did some crawling in a tunnel.

The funny part about this was it went up at an incline. So they would crawl, crawl, crawl almost get to the top and then slide back down on their stomachs. Emerson also thought this was hilarious.

It was a nice way to end our evening. The babies are so fun these days. They seem to understand us more, their personalities are coming out more and more each day. Best of all for an entire week they've gone to bed without any kind of a fuss!

(The pictures aren't the best because we only had Marcus' cell phone with us). 

Dr Eli and other random musings...

The babies have always loved Marcus' stethoscope and the other day Eli put it on himself like a doctor and was walking around I thought he looked adorable.

Speaking of adorable...

I love these pictures of Eli with his dad. He was just sitting and resting his head on Marcus and snuggling with him. The babies love their daddy.

A few more random tidbits that I just want to remember:

-Emerson said "mama" yesterday for the first time. I was talking to her about something like I always do and I said something along the lines of, "Mama's going to do it" and she looked and me and smiled and said clear as day in her little voice "mama". So incredibly sweet.

- This next story I'm not even sure if I should share but Marcus and I had a good laugh after the fact. Yesterday after work I was sitting on the couch typing something for the meeting I had that evening and Emerson came over and pushed on my laptop screen and pinched some skin in my leg. It hurt, I instinctively jerked my hand/arm, which was holding a can of Dr. Pepper and it splashed all over Emerson's face. Poor baby was so shocked by the whole thing and her face was just covered in soda. After I got her cleaned up Marcus and I couldn't stop laughing. Clearly, we're parents of the year.

-Emerson has been watching Eli walking and she's determined to follow suit. She's been taking 3 or 4 steps at a time (although unlike her brother she doesn't think falling down is fun). Yesterday. She had my cell phone up to her ear, she was taking about three steps, and saying, "hi, hi" over and over. It as adorable and hilarious. 

Finally a few text messages from Marcus that he's sent me while I'm at work. He hasn't yet found a job so he's been staying at home with the babies and doing a fabulous job being the "house husband" as we joke about it. If I made just a little bit more money he could stay home while I worked which would be ideal for both of us. Maybe one day when we're rich and famous or something.

Texts:

Marcus: "Eli kind of fell down the stairs. Well only two steps. I caught him, he did like a cartwheel"

Me: "Is he okay? How did that happen?"

Marcus: "He was going down and weeeeeee off he went."

Haha I can laugh because Eli is fine and the way Marcus described the whole thing makes me laugh.

Another one:

Marcus: "I think Emmy just broke my xiphoid process" 

Who talks like that haha? At least he's putting his degree to good use.

7 Years Ago Today...

Marcus and I were married.

And I have to say this last year of marriage was by far the hardest. One thing that people don't really talk much about (or maybe it was just our case) is how hard having babies is on a person's marriage. Add in bedrest, prematurity, NICU, twins, grad. school, post postpartum depression/anxiety, difficult babies, etc and yeah it all really takes it's toll.

Marcus and I have probably argued more in this last year than we did in our previous six years combined.  We were suffering from exhaustion and stress and any number of things (many mentioned above) and it's just a recipe for diaster. 

I do have to say that I think we've come through it better than we were before. Things are without a doubt different in our relationship. That's to be expected when your family doubles in size but right now I'm in a really good place mentally and physically. The babies are finally sleeping better and we're settling back into our routine.

It gives me so much joy to watch Marcus be a dad to our kids. He's amazing at it and does it with an ease and a joy that I envy. I am so very blessed that he is mine and I so look forward to what the next years have to bring. I know that if we can make it through my parents divorce, infertility, undergraduate and graduate school, cross country moves, bedrest, NICU, twins, then we can meet any obstacles that come before us. Although it's been a challenging last year it's been a very good last year.

Happy 7 years Marcus love you!

(Photos by Brisham Photography)

Unpacking progress...

The mission was to unpack my 33 boxes of books (Marcus seems to think I have too many, I say there's no such thing).

Marcus set to the task of constructing the book shelves with his assistant Emerson. She's so observant and really loves tools for some reason.

So after Marcus put some screws in Emerson had a turn.

Then we had a problem. Two shelves were not enough...

We still had piles of books.

And more boxes.

So a third shelf was added and eight boxes of books are going to live in my office. Isn't it beautiful? It took me so long to figure out how to organize them. I'm not totally happy but Marcus was ready to move on in our packing adventures. 

15 Months old!

15 Months old! They're both getting so big.

Lately they've both been particularly hilarious. I think one of my favorite things is they're both starting to understand what we ask them. A while ago at my mom's house we asked Eli where the ball was and he crawled over to the TV stand and looked underneath it. Sure enough the ball was underneath.

Emerson is also understanding more and more and she can show me where her nose and her belly button is. She also knows where my nose, Eli's nose, and Marcus' noses are. She's still really attached to her little stuffed pig we call piggy. She wants to eat with him and he gets hauled around everywhere. So he's really disgusting. This morning she threw him in the bath with Eli I guess she noticed he also needed a bath.

Eli is still struggling with the eating. He really tries to eat things with textures and he's so over the purees but overall it just doesn't work for him. Now that we're settled I'm going to looking back into EI services so we can start working with an OT again. He's so frustrated. Although he doesn't gag and throw up as much when he puts different textures in his mouth.

Emerson is loving food still and her new favorite at the moment is bananas. She wants them for breakfast, lunch and dinner so we've taken to hiding the bananas so she won't see them. 

As far as vocals go Emerson still pretty much just says "hi" over and over again. Especially to Eli. She loves her brother and they're so funny lately when they play together. They crack us up. Going in circles, chasing each other, wrestling with each other. The fun side of twin parenthood. 

Eli says dada and mama and maybe ball it's hard to tell. He throws everything in his reach and he's just a happy kid pretty much always smiling. One of their new favorite games is climbing al over their dad. Emerson just sort of throws herself over Marcus and then laughs hysterically.

Finally, some of the biggest news is Eli is walking. In the last couple of days he's really taken off and now he's attempting to run. He'll go and go and then fall and laugh and then stand up and do it all over again.

Not to jinx anything but the last three nights they've also gone to bed without any crying. Prior it would sometimes take over an hour to get them to bed, so this is a huge change and relief. 

They're at such a fun age right now and they crack us up all the time.

Still here....

Nice huh? This is during our clothes sorting and putting away adventure. 

(Can you spot the baby in this mess).

Our unpacking and cleaning is going very slowly. Between my new job and the two babies it's hard to get much done. (Although I did make a list for Marcus to try and work on tomorrow).

My new job is going well. It's very hectic and unorganized so I have a lot of catching up to do and a lot of planning for the upcoming fall. 

I'm exhausted. Really, really exhausted.

The babies are loving this moving thing. They take things out of boxes. The love the big empty spaces. (Eli's been trying to walk more with his arms straight up in the air because of all the space). They've been hilarious these last couple of days. At one point Emmy was laying in this box I just got the camera out too late.

Lots of cleaning is taking place. People keep asking me why we're cleaning. Do people seriously move into a new place and not clean? Really? That's unfathomable to me. 

 Not only is my home currently a chaotic mess. My office is also very sad and lonely. I don't yet have a desk or shelves or anything really. So I'm using a super tiny table as my desk and I have a piano bench to hold my printer. People keep walking in and laughing at my set up. It's all just a work in progress at the moment. For some reason there were also about 10 chairs in my office. I've moved most of them but a few remain including a rocking chair.

And finally, just because I think it's hilarious. Marcus took a picture of Eli and happened to catch him in the middle of a sneeze. Look at his cute puffed out cheeks. Haha funny stuff.

Good night!