Dear Jennifer Lopez...

Thanks for your recent thoughts on IF treatments. 

"When it comes to family and relationships, I’m quite traditional," the star, 40, tells the February issue of Ellemagazine. "Just because of the way I was raised. And I also believe in God and I have a lot of faith in that, so I just felt like you don't mess with things like that."

Lopez -- who is mother to 22-month-old twins Max and Emme with hubby Marc Anthony -- portrays a woman who decides to have a baby through artificial insemination in the upcoming romantic comedy, The Back-Up Plan. Still, she doesn't believe the process is for her.

"I guess deep down, I really felt like either this is not going to happen for me or it is," she tells Elle. "You know what I mean? And if it is, it will. And if it's not, it’s not going to."

What great insight. I guess I just wasn’t raised "traditionally" you know since we can't seem to have kids the "traditional way". Perhaps if only we'd have more faith in God, we wouldn't have had to, "mess with things like that." 

I hate to break it to you but no amount of faith or belief in God changes our reality in regards to our infertility. If it did I think we'd have a pretty good chance considering my current vocational path, but alas no such luck. 

And can I just tell you how great it is that you're going to portray a woman who uses donor sperm to conceive twins even though "the process is just not for you." I can respect that. I mean the process wasn't really for me either, I'm pretty sure it's not really for anyone, but well turns out that we (my husband and I) in all our non-tradition didn't have a choice in the matter. 

So again thanks for your thoughts. They weren't condescending and ridiculous at all. Congrats on being able to conceive your twins the "traditional way" without "messing with things like that" if only we could all be so lucky. Perhaps in the future it would be beneficial to recognize your own good fortune without implying a whole lot about those who are not so lucky. 

P.S. not that it matters but there are many who claim you actually did use IF treatments to have your twins. I don't care one way or another and respect your right to be private about it, but if you did your statements are even more hurtful. 

Sincerely,

Me, an apparent non-traditional, mother of twins, who "messed with things like that" 

8 Months old (two days late).

Taking the monthly pictures...

Is really funny these days...

Because they don't hold still at all...

Unless Marcus stands behind me with a cell phone.

Eli at 8 months...

*Rolls with ease from his back to his tummy.

* Loves tummy time and can push all the way up on his arms

* Occassionally pushes backwards while on his tummy.

* Sometimes puts his butt in the air while on his tummy (trying to figure out how to crawl).

*Hates solids more than anything in the world.

*Learned to clap which is adorable.

*Loves to jump while standing on our lap.

*Figured out how to use some new Christmas toys, pushing buttons and closing things.

*Still does his weird backbend, head scooting thing and moves all over like that.

*Loves being underneath things. Like clothes, blankest, tables etc.

*Just started noticing his sister.

* can tri-pod sit for a few seconds.

Emerson at 8 months...

*Babbles all the time. La-la, da-dadadadad, etc.

 wait until she starts to associate those sounds with things.

*Loves solids and eating from the spoon.

 She however despises her bottle and getting her to eat from it is a daily struggle.

*Found her feet.

*Loves being without clothes and cries when we dress her.

*Hates her tummy, dosen't roll anymore.

* Also just started noticing her brother and likes to grab him.

She however does not want Eli to touch her at all.

*Doesn't like new people and cries when she can't see us.

(She'll need to work through this as we start the new semester).

*Studies everything. She'll hold a toy and just turn it over and look at it

from every angle trying to figure it out. She does this with cell phones & cameras too.

Last month before we went home for the holidays the baby had their 6 month evaluation with their physical therapist to see if they had met the goals we set out six months ago. Eli succesfully met all of his and we made new goals.

Emerson on the otherhand didn't meet most of them and she now will now start PT twice a month and see the OT to help with her bottle eating issues. I'm trying not to worry. I know she'll catch up in her own time, but it's hard when Eli seems so far ahead of her in regards to development. Which also isn't really fair because if they weren't twins we wouldn't have a basis for comparision either. I just worry that she hasn't really improved in strength for the last few months. That doesn't seem okay to me.

Dear Mr. Eli...

We love you very much and know that you've been recovering from an ear infection so these past few weeks we've understood why you've been waking up multiple times in the middle of the night. However, last night I think we've reached our limit. We really need you to sleep.

Waking up at midnight and then again at two and screaming for 2.5 hours is really not healthy for any of us, especially when you wake up your sister resulting in two awake babies. Let's try again tonight and see if we can all remember how great it is to sleep. It also might be beneficial if you eat during the day and not the night.

Love,
Your exhausted, frustrated, can hardly function Mom & Dad who miss their baby that sleeps for more than a few hours at a time.

Ears are clear for take-off...

We took Eli to my mom's doctor today just to make sure his ear infection had cleared off before we get back on a plane Saturday to fly home. Flying with an ear infection would be cruel and unusual punishment and we did not want to subject him to that. Luckily all seems to be well and his 10 days of antibiotics seem to have done the trick.

Since our hometown doesn't have any pediatricians we were seeing just a family practice doctor and they didn't have the small baby exam tables with sides on them. Eli had a really great time playing with the paper on the full size exam table. He was hilarious and in such a funny mood.

And it's a good sign that he didn't try to punch the doctor this time when she checked his ears. I'm so glad our first ear infection is behind us. I hope we don't have many more in the future it was awful.

*****
I also finally got my H1N1 vaccine. I've literally been trying to get it for months where we live and haven't had any luck (even though both babies and Marcus have all been vaccinated, Marcus went to his university and the babies Pedi had enough for them).

There was a free clinic in my hometown so I jumped at the opportunity, and had kind of an awkward encounter with another twin mom.

The guy giving the shot asked me how many kids I had and when I responded I had 8 month old twins, another guy working at the clinic started asking me some questions since he is the father of 14 year old twin boys.

He was so accurate about the twin experience talking about how incredibly difficult the first year is as I nodding in affirmation that this, man "got" it.

Then this other woman jumps in and says, "It wasn't bad I would do it again."  Turns out she's the mother of 17 year old boy/girl twins.

To which the man jokingly replied, "Yeah it's great now,  but during those first 9 months you sometimes want to rip your arms off."

I laughed and nodded in affirmation, again at the relief that somebody else got it.

But this woman finding no humor in it and being super twin mom or something shares, "And I nursed for the first year."

Which I get is great and amazing with twins (although it's sort of an odd thing to randomly announce to a group of strangers who hadn't asked). I wish the babies would have figured out BFing or that I could have exclusively pumped for more than 5 months but there were many factors that just didn't make that possible.

I didn't want to get into all of that so I just said, "That's great. Mine were premature and just never really figured it out."

"Mine too 3 & 4 pounds" was her response.

At which point I was just done. It's not a competition. I do know that twins are a blessing but that doesn't make it any easier and all she was doing was making me feel bad. Not only do I think having twins is incredibly difficult and trying I also couldn't BF them, and I can honestly say that I don't know if I could handle another set of multiples. So I just smiled and thanked all of those around me and left... but she wasn't quite done yet as she called after me,

"You better have had those babies vaccinated."

*sigh*

It was just weird. She was so defensive and argumentative about the whole thing. Not to mention she's had 17 years to forget some of the newborn and infant twin challenges.

Oh well, at least the father of the twins was on my side with the desire to sometimes want to chop off our arms or runaway screaming, or drop the babies off with the grandmas and go far far away...

Plus, I finally got my shot and it was free.

Emerson and the Snow...

It started snowing the other day so we decided it was time for Emerson to check out some snow (Eli was sleeping off his Ear infection so no snow for him). She wasn't very impressed.

Her Uncle Dustin jumped in this picture

Her infamous glare. She does this often when she wakes up, takes a bath, and apparently also when she's outside in the snow. She's a funny girl.

Trying to get a smile out of her. She wasn't budging.

And she didn't want to make snow angels. She was pretty upset with me. So thus far I think Emerson might be more of a warm weather baby.

Hopefully it'll snow again once Eli is feeling better and he can check it out.

Christmas 2009

I'm only a little behind on my blogging. I blame: Eli and his ear infection, Emerson and her revolt against sleep in recent days and nights, and writing commitments for school that I kept putting off due to the above things, that I finally wrote and submitted this morning. So now with Eli napping and Emerson only whining a little bit I have a few seconds to reflect on our first christmas as a family of four.

Since we started trying for a baby four years ago I had always envisioned what Christmas would be like with our kids. Last Christmas eve I was 13 weeks pregnant and as I sat in the church pew on Christmas eve 2008 I imagined what this Christmas would be like. Marcus and I dressed for church, each holding one of our babies (they would be 5 months old) the candle light singing of silent night would bring the evening to a close. That's what I imagined absolute perfection.

The reality was slightly different. The babies who were in fact 7 months old were up past bedtime, both were a little restless, both had dirty diapers which required me to leave the sanctuary on multiple occasions to change them, and I stood in the back bouncing a baby for the better part of the evening to keep them quiet. Emerson also decided that she wanted to entertain those sitting in front of and behind us by making faces, blowing spit bubbles and sticking out her tongue. And holding a lit candle with babies who like to grab at everything not such a smart idea, and yet, despite all of that I was content.

No, it wasn't the perfect evening I had envisioned the year before, but I've come to realize that nothing with twins is smooth, nothing is graceful, and everything is a production. But after years of trying and several christmases full of tears and sadness Marcus and I finally had our babies.

Now a review of Christmas in pictures because it's just easier.

Our babies looked adorable for the Christmas eve church service (if I do say so myself)

Emerson & Eli before church

They met their cousin Hannah. Ei didn't want to sit next to her for some reason. He kept pushing her away. (At least that's what it looks like).

All of my siblings and their significant others were home. Except for my brother who is still in Afghanistan, and his wife who was with her family.

Marcus and Emerson.

A family picture before church.

On Christmas morning at Marcus' parents house they also met their cousin Cassandra. (They still haven't mastered the sitting thing).

They tried to open a few presents, and didn't get very far.

Eli and his Grammy (my mom) were tired from all the excitement.

Emerson became a Cavilers fan because of her Auntie Abbey (my sister)

Marcus and his brothers were together for Christmas for the first time since 2003.

It's been a tradition in Marcus' family to get matching Pajamas on Christmas eve. This year we all had matching pajamas and Marcus and his brothers were mostly good sports about putting them on for some pictures. The babies just sort of look like floating heads since they blend in.

Eli & Emerson with their granddad (Marcus' dad).

It was a good Christmas. We're lucky enough to be from the same hometown so we get to see both of our families each time we're in town visiting. I imagine as the babies get older and more aware the christmas season will keep getting better.

Farewell Monroe...

Marcus' basset-hound Monroe died on Tuesday he was 12 years old. Which, according to my vet tech. sister, is incredibly old for a basset hound. Actually what she said was, "Dude, Sadie 8 is old for a Basset-hound, like dying old, he was 12?" (She's 20 ...)

Anyways...

Marcus loved Monroe, and even back in the NICU Marcus used to tell the babies all about his dog, who they would get to meet when when we came home for Christmas. 

Monroe was a strange, strange dog. He was afraid of everything, brooms, water, hoses, water guns, vacuums. He used to find candy in the candy bowls and put it in different corners of the house. In Monroe's mind he was "hiding" this candy from everyone, even though it was in plain view. He also had a path in the backyard that he walked everyday, he walked it so often the grass was worn away. 

I will miss Monroe, because Marcus loved his dog, and I love Marcus. 

I'm glad Marcus got to have him for one more Christmas, and the babies got to "Meet" him. (Through the window). 

Monroe (1997-Dec. 29, 2009)

Marcus, Me & Monroe on our 4th Wedding Anniversary.