Once in the operating room a million doctors/nurses started doing a million things all at once. They pinned my arms out on either side of me (kind of like Jesus) and the anesthesiologist put an oxogen mask on me. Since I was still upset and crying it made me feel like I was suffocating (which is ridiculous because it was O2) and because I hated that feeling I forced myself to calm down and breath deeply. As I mentioned before the anesthesiologists were two of the kindest doctors I have ever encountered and the resident anesthesiologist started explaining to me everything that was going on. I was still contracting and I could feel them washing my stomach area they then put up a blue drape in front of face (I don't know why it's not like I was conscious) and the last thing I remember before going to sleep was a nurse reading out my name, DOB, and the procedure that was about to take place...
The next thing I remember was waking up at 8:30 am in recovery and immediately asking about the babies. Marcus said I was in and out of consciousness and I just kept saying over and over "babies? babies?" I was also in an enormous amount of pain and at one point I also looked at Marcus and said, "It's a 10" (This was in reference to my pain level. During my bedrest at the hospital they always asked me to rate my pain on a scale from 1-10 which I felt was so ridiculous and usually gave them some other answer, well for once I had an actual number for the people). Eventually they hooked me up to a medication pump and gave me a button to push which would give me more, that thing was my new best friend for the next 24 hours.
When I could finally maintain my consciousness for a few minutes I made Marcus show me pictures of the babies and I just remember him telling me "They're beautiful, they're so beautiful." But more than that I just wanted some reassurance that my babies were okay. I react really poorly to either the anesthesia or the DDAVP or both and it takes me forever to feel normal so this entire period is a bit of a blur. However, what I do remember is the nurses coming over and pushing on my stomach right around my incision. Holy crap, this was so painful and Marcus says every time the nurse would come over I would pout and shake my head no. Apparently Marcus and the nurses thought I was pretty hilarious during this stage of my recovery.
At some point it was time to move me back to my room, but first we made a stop to the NICU. Me in my drugged up state and still laying in the bed. It was not an easy task getting that bed into the room and I was so incredibly out of it but they held up Eli for me and showed me Emerson and once again I tried not to cry at the fact that I had given birth and instead of holding my babies I was getting a two second view, in a drugged up state from my hospital bed, and then taken back to my room.
The next 24 hours are a blur and I was asleep for almost all of it. I only woke up when the pain became to intense and I would push my drug pump button and go back to sleep. Marcus on the other hand spent most him time downstairs with the babies taking pictures and video to bring back up to me during my few moments of consciousness. Of course I remember the nurses continuing to push on my stomach, and I can clearly remember the moment when I looked down and realized I was no longer pregnant. My stomach was significantly smaller and I hated that I had no memory of any of it. Oh, and most of all I remember the pain. So much pain all through the day and night.
To be continued...
Me in recovery looking not so good.
1 comment:
I hate being pinned down on the table, especially when you're still conscious.
I'd be seriously peeved at whomever kept coming in and pressing on my stomach.
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