Thursday, October 18, 2012

I read an uncomfortable book, some thoughts...

I was invited by BlogHer* to read and review The Diary of  Submissive by Sophie Morgan. A memoir written in the wake of the crazy popular 50 Shades of Gray books which highlights a Dominant/submissive relationship.

This book is offered as a non-fiction account from the perspective of a the submissive in the relationship.

I was intrigued about the subject matter. Particularly why someone might engage in a what at least on the outside appears to be nothing more than a consensual abusive relationship.

One adult giving another adult permission to beat them and do other kinds of humiliating, horrific, and often dangerous things to the other. I don't get it and was hoping that Sophie Morgan's memoir might offer some insight into the whys of a Dominant/submissive relationship.

It did not. Overwhelmingly this book made me uncomfortable, not so much because of the graphic nature of many of the scenes, but because time and time again it ceased to seem totally consensual.

There are moments when the author talks about being humiliated, degraded, wanting to stop (but not wanting to appear weak), not being able to speak to use their "safety" word, angry, embarrassed, in immense amount of pain.

 And I did not get any answers as to the why? Why allow someone to treat you this way? Especially given the range of emotions, none of which were positive.

Sophie Morgan doesn't offer much insight into the whys. She's careful to note that she's a "feminist' that she comes from a normal childhood without abuse or any other dark hidden secrets that make her damaged in some way.

I wasn't really sure how to feel at the end of the book. Sophie Morgan did an excellent job of explaining the range of emotions that one might experience in this type of relationship, and many of those emotions were not positive as I described above.

I suppose if you're interested in reading an account of someone who exists in the real world as successful functioning adult, but then in their private life allows and invites physical abuse and pain this might be a book for you.

There are trigger warnings though it's violent and graphic.

If you're interested in joining the on-going conversation about this book go here http://www.blogher.com/diary-submissive

*This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.



 







1 comment:

Jess @ LifeintheWhiteHouse.com said...

Sounds like a fantastic book :-|
I don't get it either, or the obsession with 50 Shades (no, I didn't read it).

I guess, to each his own.