Day 8: Marcus as a Dad

I'm so grateful that Eli and Emerson have Marcus as a daddy. I strongly believe that Marcus was called to be a dad in the same way that I am called to ministry. The same way so many woman are called to motherhood. For as long as I've known him he's wanted kids and then when we found out that because of the diagnosis of azoospermia that for us having kids wasn't going to be what we alway imagined and envisioned. I have never been so confused and angry with God because it didn't make sense.

I had fears and anxieties about all of that but from the very second that we found out I was pregnant was the most attentive and excited daddy to be I've ever seen. That poor guy was put through the wringer during my pregnancy. He was constantly worried about me and our babies.

One day after one of our appointments with the MFM when we learned that Emerson had a single artery umbilical cord, we knew that although unlikely, this could cause some problems. Marcus put his hand on my stomach and said, "I guess you worry about your kids before they're even here."

And he is the best dad I have ever seen. The most hands on dad, and I have adored watching him with our babies from the very beginning. I'm so grateful that when I was dealing with PPD and PP anxiety that Eli and Emerson had their dad to fill in all the ways that I couldn't.

When they were still in the NICU and Marcus had to return to work as soon as he got home he would say, "Let's go to the hospital and see our babies."

The first night that Eli was home Marcus slept on the floor of the nursery.

Marcus did 90% of all the nighttime feedings because he's amazing and because mentally I just wasn't in a place where I could do it.

For the last 15 months he was a full time stay and home dad and I am so grateful that we were able to make that work. If only it still could for a little bit longer.

And now from the moment he gets home all time and attention is focused on the kids. They love their daddy and he loves them more than anything in the whole world.

He amazes me and I could not do this motherhood thing, let alone twin motherhood without him by my side.