Maybe, just maybe we're making some progress...

We've had a good week. An exhausting week but I think I'm finally starting to figure some things out. This week was my school's new student orientation and being a 3rd year student I sat on a few panels and even attending a lecture with the babies in tow. Even more impressive I ventured to these things on my own. There was a time that the prospect of leaving the house with both babies was something I never thought possible, but I can do it, and I can even do it successfully. (Although it takes forever to leave).

The babies did really well at the lecture. I did have help from friends and any time a baby made a noise one of us ran out of the room, but it all worked out. I've also been busy with my internship site this week making plans for the coming school year (with classes starting on Wednesday eek), and today I went to lunch with some friends and the babies. The days are so much better when I leave the apartment. I think that's part of the reason this week has been so much better. Being cooped up for hours on end is not healthy for anyone.

I'm even at a point where I don't dread getting up and facing the day. Which has been my reality for the past 15 or so weeks. There was a time that the very prospect of facing the day with my screaming babies alone left me in tears, I didn't enjoy being with the babies (and I hated myself for feeling that way) and Marcus called into work more times than he probably should have to keep me from completely losing it. I don't want to jinx anything but progress is happening... (the progress in this area is probably in part to returning to my therapist). It's nice to actually feel happy again, Marcus commented recently that I don't really call him crying these days (which is a relief to both of us).

We've also got a bit of a loose schedule happening. The babies eat, do tummy time, we play a little, and they're ready for a nap. The structure helps, and I'm getting a little better and reading their cues. I know when they start fussing during all of this they're tired and just need to be laid down, and more often than not I can get them to nap successfully.

Of course now that I'm starting to figure things out schools going to start, I'm taking 5 classes, the babies will be left in the care of others occasionally, and I'll also be busy with my internship. I'm a little worried about balancing all of this. The babies alone leave me exhausted I can't imagine adding all of the other work on top of it, but I'm trying not to dwell too much on that fact, one way or another we'll get through it.

The babies these days are also more and more responsive (which also helps). They smile a lot, have started making cute baby noises, and are more intrigued by their mobiles and activity mat. Eli is still in love with lights and will stare at them forever. He also really likes being outside and staring at the sky. Now, instead of screaming all the time we can actually get some reaction out of them.

(It's funny because Eli is much happier in the afternoon and early evening and Emerson is all smiles in the morning.)

Tonight for example they were both whining and fussing so I decided to start reading them a book, and to my amazement they both stopped crying and started listening.

I started with Eli, but Emerson seemed a little left out so she joined the reading party too,

Then we thought maybe they would like to read by themselves... and they did for awhile (the book has some black and white images in it that they like to look at).

Their head control is getting so much better. I think their PT will be impressed when she comes to visit.

So we're moving forward, and while things are still challenging, I'm still beyond exhausted, I'm feeling happier and a little more in control. Let's hope things keep improving.