Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Boundaries...

Since having twins I have been a little bit shocked at the lack of boundaries exhibited by other people. People feel free to comment, stare, ask personal questions about their conception, and attempt to touch (which is the one that really pushes me over the edge). On Monday, the babies were fussing, I was hot and had been stuck in our hot, small, apartment all day and I decided to be brave and take the babies for a walk on my own for the first time.

The logistics of all of this are not easy as we live on the second floor. I had to haul our stroller down first, then carefully carry both babies down at the same time. Then get the stroller outside and down those stairs and then load them. It's a production but I did it. I decided we'd go over to my school since it's air conditioned, I suppose that was my first mistake since new student orientation was going on.

I ran into a friend (who is aware of my issues with people touching my preemies) and he washed his hands and then carried Eli around since he was fussing. I then had Emerson in my arms. This is when things started going wrong, perfect strangers began to approach, the questions started, a little girl kept trying to touch them, and then some lady asked, "Can I try holding your crying baby?" (She was referring to Eli). My response was probably a little less than polite, "Umm... No. D-- has it under control." Maybe this woman was trying to be helpful but I would never assume I could just approach a mother and her baby, touch them, and then expect to be allowed to hold them especially if I didn't know them. I just don't understand.



We did buy these signs for their carseats in hopes that this may deter the many strangers who seem to lack any sense of boundaries and the only context they have been successful in is at my church.

Perhaps, we'll have to go back into lockdown again since people are strange.

:::
Other than that annoyance things around here have been going relatively smooth. In part because for the last few days the babies have been napping like crazy. On Monday they napped for a 5 hour stretch. Then they would wake eat (5-6oz which is not normal for them) and then go back to sleep. They then proceeded to go to bed at their normal time and sleep until 2am eat, then back to sleep. It's very strange.

On Friday they went in for a weight check and Emerson seems to be catching Eli in the weight department. Emerson weighed 10lbs 4oz and Eli weighed 10lbs 12oz. We think most of Eli's weight is in his head since it's in the 50th percentile and the rest of him is not on the charts. It's no wonder he can't really lift up his head during tummy time.

A friend bought Eli this onesie it seems appropriate, my poor bobbleheaded baby. It doesn't help that Eli has recently discovered that while on his tummy he can easily get his thumb in his mouth, which is adorable but really not conducive to motivating him to lift his head.

Emerson on the other hand has improved immensely on her head control. She can now keep her head up for several minutes at a time.

2 comments:

Becks said...

I totally know how you feel with the boundaries issue. I've been thinking about it a lot, actually. I hate it when total stranger touch my baby without asking!

I have since decided that I think it's biological response. Babies are just irresistible, and I think it's supposed to be that way. We are programmed to respond to them, to want to hold them and touch them and protect them, especially when they seem to be in distress. Resisting that urge can be really difficult, and that's why people want to touch babies so much. What they really want to do is scoop them up and cuddle them and kiss them and love on them, and only touching a foot or a hand is actually showing a lot of restraint.

I've just sort of accepted that people are going to touch my baby - i keep some hand sanitizer handy, and have people use it first, or i put it on the baby if they are too quick for me. It probably also works to tell people your babies have delicate immune systems, and we need to protect them from germs by not touching them. Then, at least, they can still fulfill that urge to love and protect the baby :)

~Jess said...

I don't get the boundaries thing either....whether people know you or not, you think they would at least respect you as the parent.

I love the pictures of them...they're getting so big!