Wednesday, July 8, 2009

2 months old

My MIL left today and that marks the end of our reinforcements and I don't think I can manage this on my own. My MIL kept saying that we must be happy to finally be alone but I can honestly, say that we are not. Marcus and I desperately need help. Today further illustrated that point. The babies have both been screaming for the last 5 hours and I can't figure out why. They are eating just fine, have plenty of wet and dirty diapers, from what I can tell they just want to be held. As soon as they are put down they wake up and start screaming all over again. I'm losing it. Luckily Marcus had today off so it was a little more manageable except for when I need to do things like pump, dishes, laundry, eat etc. Or when Marcus needs to do school work for his summer class. The whole idea of sleeping when the babies sleep is laughable. We did that today for two hours and as a result have no clean clothes or clean bottles and then had to try and do those things with two screaming kids. I had to lay my screaming baby down again and go into our bedroom so I could cry.

I want my mom or somebody to come back. The best way I can see to manage is to outnumber the babies. Please let tomorrow be better Marcus has to close at work so I'll be on my own pretty much all day.

I'll post their 2 month picture when I get a second to upload it from the camera. I should have taken it of them both screaming it would have been an accurate representation of the day.


Carrie Cummings said...

Hello! You don't know me, and I don't even remember how I stumbled onto your blog, but I just felt like your post deserved a comment ASAP. I can't pretend to know how it feels to have TWO babies to take care of at once, as I've only had one at a time, but even so, I felt at my wit's end with each one of my newborns (and their older siblings when relevant). It is a perfect thing to do to remove yourself from the situation (even if only for a minute) and go cry. But as you get through more days (and you do have to measure it DAY by DAY), you WILL be proud of yourself for surviving yet another day. And those days will turn into a week, and then another, and it WILL get easier, and then you'll turn a corner, look back and marvel at how you did it. It WILL get better, but it's extremely hard to have that perspective when you're in the midst of the hardest thing you've ever done. Is there someone you can call and say, "I need help with these guys?" - even if it's just a warm body who can come by once a week? Even the idea of someone ALMOST here to help got me through some stressful days. I just had to let you know that I was thinking about you and hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Little Wonders said...

OMG, can I relate or what!! I know exactly what you mean ... just today I was thinking that you really shouldn't even attempt to take care of newborn twins by yourself - it is not possible.
From what I hear from other moms of multiples, the first 3 months are the hardest ... so you guys are almost there! Also, I am reading this book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, happy child" and it talks about the 6-8 week fussy period, which totally sounds like your babies are having. It usually gets a lot better by 12 weeks, too.

All I can say: Enlist help anywhere you can. Pay for it if you have to. I sometimes have people over just to hold babies - even a middle school kid can do that. That way I can pump, wash my bottles, eat - things you very well might not get around to if you're alone with the babies. I'm sorry things are so rough right now. Just know you're not alone.
I've only had the babies home for 2 weeks, but they're not even to their due date yet - so my 3 month countdown is just starting!!

Little Wonders said...

I forgot that your little beans were early, too - so sorry, looks like you still got a little ways to go to that 3 months mark. I'll be there with you.

Stacie said...

You can do this. You can. It is hard in the beginning, but you can do this!

Do you have bouncy seats that vibrate? Those things saved my sanity when my boys first came home. If I wasn't holding them, they were in a bouncy seat, a swing, or I was wearing one in a nanu carrier. It is worth a shot at least.

Hugs. It does get better. I promise!

Stacie said...

And make sure to have extra batteries. There is nothing worse than your batteries dying and screwing everything up!

Queenie. . . said...

Ooh, I like the vibrating bouncy seat idea. Can you wear one in a sling while you get some stuff done around the house?

You will be okay. Take it an hour at a time, and you'l get through the next few months. This is totally transitional. Also, have you looked into whether there is a postpartum doula in your area that you can afford even one day a week for a few hours, just to help you save your sanity as you get through the next few months? They clean, help with the kids-whatever you need.

~Jess said...

*hugs* that's the only thing I have to offer: I would definitely see if some of your friends could help...even if just coming over for an hour or two to give you guys a breather.

Becks said...

You poor thing! I just hopped over from your comment on "Little Wonders."

- get help if you need help, and if you start to develop Post Partum Depression, don't be in denial! I started crying all the time when I was trying to take care of my premie, and it took a while for me to accept that it was depression and not just stress or fatigue. I felt SO much better, happier, and able to cope once my doctor and worked out a treatment plan together. Please don't hesitate to get help if you need it.

- it looks like your babies just hit their due dates and have gotten really fussy! Try reading "The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Sleep Longer." It's was SO helpful when James caught up to his due date. When he started crying hysterically, we could calm him in 2 minutes flat. It really helps a lot!

- Make sure your babies don't have silent reflux (GERD) or a dairy protein allergy. If either of them do (and it's very common in premies because they have to start eating before their little digestive systems are really ready) is can cause an insane amount of crying.
When James hit his due date, he would sometimes cry for 12 hours a day strait (I am not exaggerating!). Once we figured out he had silent GERD and a milk protein allergy (I had to cut all dairy out of my diet since I am breastfeeding) he really calmed down.

I hope that helps!