Monday, June 4, 2012

Busy, Busy, & in a Funk...

I've been neglecting my blog. I actually do have things to blog about, I still haven't blogged about our March for babies this year, our recent trip to AZ, the wedding, etc. etc.

But I just haven't felt up to it. Last week after getting back from a week long vacation we were home for 2 days and decided to make a quick trip home. It's only a 7 hour drive (much better than our 11 hour drive).

My mom was moving and needed some help and my cousin graduated. I always have a hard time going home for a lot of reasons, and some of the circumstances at home are part of my funk.

I know this is vague but I don't want to put too much out there, especially since I think I just need to get over it. I just mourn the loss of the relationship I used to have with my BIL and it's hard to go home and see him briefly but it's all different. It sucks and it makes me sad.

Now of course we're moving, but we spent 5 hours today at the Children's hospital for Emerson's hematology appointment. She did really well and I liked the doctor a lot but my goodness it was busy and took forever.

We had lunch in the cafeteria in the hospital because the hospital is literally in the middle of no where. It was strange how being in an entire different hospital, in a new state, with 3 year old Eli & Emerson, and yet it was a trigger for their NICU stuff.

So much anxiety and emotions tied into the experience of being in that space. Thankfully, just being in a hospital no longer brings back as many of the old emotions as it used to.

Emmy had an epic tantrum in the cafeteria over having to share her food. It was not pretty. I was able to calmly talk to her and it actually seemed to work. I just kept saying, "I know you're angry and frustrated but we can't scream."

Then Emerson wanted a drink from Eli, so when he gave it to her, he looked at us, and then he totally mimicked her meltdown. He thought he was hilarious (and honestly it was a pretty good impression). He cracks me up.

Okay, I have to go eat dinner and then back. I apologize this post is all over the place.

1 comment:

~Jess said...

Sending you lots of prayers through all of it!