It's been awhile...

since I've complained about our health care situation, but never fear it's an ongoing theme in our lives. I wrote here about Eli & Emerson's less than stellar hearing test results and the request by the audiologist that they been seen by an ENT.

Lucky for 50% of my children Emerson already had a referral and an appointment with an ENT so she was already good to go. Bad for the other 50% of my children Eli did not have a referral and thus I set about trying to get one.

I called the clinic (you know the only clinic in the city that will treat my children because having medicaid here apparently = nobody will treat your child, it's fun). They sent me to a referral line where i get a message indicating that this line is for doctors only. It goes on to state that if this is a patient trying to get a referral you must deal directly with the doctor. I did hear this but since the receptionist transfered me to this line I took a chance and left a message. I honestly didn't expect a return call, but I was trying to be optimistic, silly me.

So after waiting several days I called back again today explained that my 21 month old son had a crappy hearing test and he needs to be seen by an ENT, and wouldn't you know it they didn't even say anything to me they simply transfered me to that same line with the same recording. This just infuriated me and I hung up and promptly called back.

This time I took a more direct approach with the woman on the line, and she did actually ask me a few questions this time. Like who I see there on a regular basis, (she wasn't impressed when I mentioned that we've never seen the same doctor twice, not my fault lady I don't set up the appointments). Then she asks who we saw last, I had no idea. Too many doctors, too many babies, too many appointments, too many things to remember. Again she wasn't very impressed with me, but begrudgingly looked it up and then once again transfered me to another line with a different recording. I left another message and here we are several weeks past the hearing test and not one bit closer to having a referral. I want to scream or cry or both I'm so tired of this.

It's not hard a request, it's not an unreasonable request, and yet no one seems the least bit interested in actually helping me. Argggggg

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This then leads into some doctor woes of my own (and I actually have insurance). I'm on an SSRI for my PPD and anxiety. While still living in CT I was being seen weekly by a therapist and getting this prescription was no big deal.

Since moving it's been a huge issue. I went to refill it this month to discover that I didn't have any refills left on the bottle. So I called my doctor to request a refill because going cold turkey off an SSRI is very bad, and it makes you feel very bad. The directions even say right on the bottle don't do it. I don't have a medical degree but I know this is bad. So I assume my request is simple, reasonable, responsible even.

I called and the receptionist said she would ask the doctor and that was it. I called back later in the afternoon to learn my request was denied. I was informed I needed to make an appointment (which I already did. I have an appointment for monday) but that doesn't change the fact that I ran out of my medication early this week and the results have not been pleasant.

When I learned that my request was denied I was instantly went to tears as I tried to calmly explain to the lady that I just needed enough medication to get me through Monday. I need to function (I need to write and deliver a sermon and teach a class and be a mother) and the last several days I have not been able to do that. I think she could hear my distress because she seemed sympathetic and I finally did in fact get a prescription for three pills.

I really hate that being off the medication for even just a few days is so disastrous. I do hope to someday get to a point when I can wean off them, but I'm not there yet.

I also worry about putting all of this out there, but I've decided that there's no shame in knowing that I need some help. It took me a long long time to recognize and accept that and I'm a better person when I face these things head on instead of trying to pretend they simply don't exist. (Plus, being off the pills makes me incredibly dizzy among other things and that just sucks).

Not a good week for so many reasons.