They made a fort...

Eli & Emerson play really well together 90% of the time, and even though they can destroy my clean home in about 2.3 seconds I mostly allow them to just play. They're little, play is healthy and good.

They love to take every single blanket and sheet they can find and do things with them. A couple of days ago they used our dining room table and an assortment of blankets to make their "cave".

 

They were pretty disappointed when they had to stop playing and go to bed, but I told them we could leave it up. So the next morning they climbed in and slide their plates of waffles underneath.

I love listening to them create stories and play. Even if I don't like the constant mess.

In other news I was trying to finish my sermon tonight and my entire family was being so loud. I jokingly told them all I was going to run away.

Of course Emerson decided she would come too. When I asked where we should go her suggestion, "Ikea and Costco" 

Sounds good to me. 

And speaking of Ikea, last time we went there they found this rocking moose. Climbed on and wouldn't get off. 

 

At least they were sharing I guess...

Good night. 

 

Pregnancy & Child Birth = Trauma...

I've had a realization lately. That when someone announces a pregnancy or goes into labor, my first reaction is one of fear.

Fear for all that could go wrong. During the pregnancy pray for a full-term baby, for a pregnancy free of complication, and for delivery I pray for normalcy and no complications.

Only after mom and baby are both safe, do I celebrate.

Yesterday, a friend of mine had a baby. Today she was out of the hospital and went to a high school basketball game to see her 3 year old daughter dance with the cheerleaders.

In her words she feels great.

This is so outside my realm of experience I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I was in and out of consciousness for over 24 hours after the birth of my children.

I met them about 36 hours later.

I didn't hold Emerson for 5 days.

I remained in the hospital for over a month between bedrest and post-delivery recovery.

Then my babies were in the NICU for almost a month.

After that, more trauma, more difficulties, more fear about my tiny babies getting sick, frustration over Emerson's inability to eat, and the fact that it took Eli about an hour to eat a few ounces of milk.

It sucked. The whole entire experience, and I forget it's not always like that.

I think if I could guarantee an uncomplicated pregnancy, a delivery that left me feeling great and out of the hospital 24 hours later with a baby that gets to go home too, I might consider attempting it all again.

But at this point, I'm still surprised when everything goes well. I need to work on that.

The Merton Prayer

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me.

I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.'

And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

~ Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude, Part 2, Chapter 2

I hadn't ever heard this prayer before but it was referenced on the season finale of The West Wing for season three. I love it.  

First Week Down...

The week isn't quite over but tomorrow is my day off, so I'm calling it over for all intents and purposes. Marcus started his job on Monday and we did okay. He has to leave the house at either 5:30am or 6am. He rides his bike to the nearest train station and takes the train into the city. Aside from this morning when his 4 alarms didn't go off, and he he had to ride his bike to a further train station that's all been going well.

I've also mostly done okay juggling the kids and work on my own. Marcus packs their lunch at night before he goes to bed, so that's one less thing I have to figure out in the morning. On Monday they don't have school so they hung out in my office with me.

The played, colored, watched movies, and surprisingly I was able to get work done. It helps that the senior pastor has monday off so I don't have to worry about them disturbing other people.

Tuesday was a little bit rough. The both climbed into bed with me at 7am. Next thing I know it's 9:30am. They never, ever sleep that late. They're suppose to arrive at school by 9:30am. We were all out of sorts, they both had some weird symptoms, they were crying about not wanting to go to school, and since all that happened they spent another day in the office with me.

This was less good. I had some meetings planned and they were not super helpful with all that. Marcus had a really good laugh at my inability to get the 3 of us out of the house at a normal time. I'm exhausted all the time, (this is related to my crohns, my job, my kids etc.) I struggle with constant exhaustion and fatigue in a really profound way. I've been lucky that Marcus has been able to help with morning duties for so long.

Wed. & Thurs. were golden. Up at 8 out the door by 9 and in fact this morning we were out the door at 8:45am. So we're surviving.

Eli & Emmy are getting used to not having their dad 24/7. Every morning this week they've asked, "Where daddy go?" And when I tell them he went to work their response, "AGAIN?!"

"Why daddy have to work again."

Marcus is enjoying his job thus far. He's in training and has an exam tomorrow. He has to pass that exam and an exam next friday in order to keep the job. So prayers this all continues to go well. I've never seen him study so much.

Review: Touch & Go by Lisa Gardner...

Touch & Go is Lisa Gardner's newest Psychological Thriller. A family that appears to have it all. Loving couple, successful family business, teenage daughter. Then the family is kidnapped from their home, and as slowly their secrets start to unravel.

I'll be honest I'm not a huge fan of psychological  thrillers. I don't really have the patience for them. It drives me nuts to not know how it's going to end and who did what, because you know there's always going to be some weird twist and so the entire time I'm just waiting for that to happen.

Overall, this was an enjoyable read. I'm not sure it was such a fast-paced can't put down, need to know what happens, kind of a thriller, but it kept me entertained well enough.

The writing was mostly ok for me, I didn't find the revelations of secrets to be very shocking, but there were some surprises in the end.

If you're looking for a good read, enjoy thrillers, or just need to be entertained this book will do all those things.

I might check out some of Lisa Gardner's other books.

You can join the conversation about Touch and Go here

"This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own."

On Writing...

Today Eli & Emerson are at work with me, (they don't have school on Mondays). They've been great thus far. Playing, watching movies, just hanging out.

Emerson also likes to create and she came over to me and said, "I made an E"

And she did!! I'm so excited my babies are learning to write!

 It has a few extra lines going on, but it's an E.

Then Eli surprised me by writing each of the letters in his name as I requested.

I feel kind of bad Eli without a doubt got the easier name to learn how to spell haha.

We're in a transition period again...

We're not moving (Thank you Jesus) but after a very, very, long time looking Marcus has found full time employment and he starts tomorrow.

This is wonderful news and a blessing to our family. However, it's going to be an adjustment for everyone to have two full time working parents in the house. This will be a first since we've had kids. We'll see how it all goes.

Marcus is in a training period for the next several weeks so he works 9 to 5, however he has to commute to the city by train so that will add an hour or so to his day on either side. So a long day for him and me. Especially since I'm left to navigate work and the kids and all of that good stuff alone.

We would love your prayers and we start this new stage. Here's hoping for a smooth transition, and a positive work experience which will lead to even better things in the future.

Also my work responsibilities have been increased, kind of a lot, so... ready or not here we go!