Tomorrow marks 19 weeks of pumping and I've reached the point where I just can't do it any more. I don't have the time and energy. This is not a decision I take lightly, I have weighed the pros (babies continuing to get breast-milk and all the added benefits that go along with it, especially going into cold and flu season), and the cons (time consuming, I'm tired, I'm busy, I hate it etc.) There are days when it is literally almost impossible for me to find the time to pump.
So for my mental well being I'm done. I'll slowly be cutting back on pumping sessions and I hopefully will be completely weaned before the pump that I've been renting from the hospital is due back. I think I know it's really time because I feel at peace with this decision, and when I considered it before I really didn't. I had hoped to make it 6 months but that's just not going to happen.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I think I've taken on more than I can handle...
It's been one of those days and it's only 3:39. I can't seem to get caught up on things and as a result I'm constantly running around like I'm losing my mind. I have a ton of reading (I know this, I'm a grad student in my 3rd year this is not a surprise) however, the whole having twins, taking 5 classes, doing an internship is completely new to me. I just need an afternoon where I can just organize my life.
Today I thought I had a handle on things. I only had a discussion section this morning and that was it. All day to do my reading for tomorrow (so I thought). Until I discovered that I needed to submit two summaries of the readings by noon today. So all day quickly turned into two hours. Fine, okay I'm a fast reader... but even I can't read 300 pages in 2 hours. (Plus I had to take a break to see Emerson giggle). Then I learned that I'm doubled booked for tonight. I was suppose to attend a meeting for my internship at 6:30pm, then I looked at my schedule and discovered that I instead have to attend a required banquet/lecture at 6:30pm for a class.... oh and I have to dress formally. What the hell. I don't have formal clothes, and the ones I do have don't quite fit right these days. Thanks for the heads up about that professor.
Add, to that the fact that I haven't done laundry in weeks (it's really bad). I've been wearing random shirts from high school (all of which I've been meaning to weed out and donate, a project I hoped to have done before the babies arrived but as we all know the bedrest, early delivery aspect put a damper on that project).
Plus, the babies have been ridiculously whiney today. I think it's probably still from their shots but I just need a few seconds to organize my life, round up some clothes, adjust my childcare arrangements for tonight, oh and read a book or two for class tomorrow.
I know I took all of this on myself, but I just need a break even for an afternoon. I really wish I had some family nearby. Now I'm going to go cry and then feed a baby or something.
Today I thought I had a handle on things. I only had a discussion section this morning and that was it. All day to do my reading for tomorrow (so I thought). Until I discovered that I needed to submit two summaries of the readings by noon today. So all day quickly turned into two hours. Fine, okay I'm a fast reader... but even I can't read 300 pages in 2 hours. (Plus I had to take a break to see Emerson giggle). Then I learned that I'm doubled booked for tonight. I was suppose to attend a meeting for my internship at 6:30pm, then I looked at my schedule and discovered that I instead have to attend a required banquet/lecture at 6:30pm for a class.... oh and I have to dress formally. What the hell. I don't have formal clothes, and the ones I do have don't quite fit right these days. Thanks for the heads up about that professor.
Add, to that the fact that I haven't done laundry in weeks (it's really bad). I've been wearing random shirts from high school (all of which I've been meaning to weed out and donate, a project I hoped to have done before the babies arrived but as we all know the bedrest, early delivery aspect put a damper on that project).
Plus, the babies have been ridiculously whiney today. I think it's probably still from their shots but I just need a few seconds to organize my life, round up some clothes, adjust my childcare arrangements for tonight, oh and read a book or two for class tomorrow.
I know I took all of this on myself, but I just need a break even for an afternoon. I really wish I had some family nearby. Now I'm going to go cry and then feed a baby or something.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
4 month appointment
The babies had their 4 mth. check up and shots. Everything is going well.
Eli weighs 13lbs 4oz and is in the 15% for weight, his head is still 50% and he's not on the chart yet for length.
Emerson is 11lbs 7oz, and not yet on the charts but getting closer and following a nice growth curve. Our pedi. is still worried about Emerson's hips though, so we're going to do a follow up with an pediatric orthopedic doctor (or something) just to make sure everything is okay.
They also qualified for the Synagis (RSV shot) so that's a big relief, and we'll start those shots next month. It's one shot a month until March (I think).
She also stressed the importance of Marcus and I getting the flu shots this year, so we'll being doing that ASAP.
Then they had their shots. During their oral Rotovirus vaccine both babies just kept grinning at the nurse. It was hysterical she couldn't get the vaccine in their mouth because every time she would put some in, they would smile and it would all dribble out. The nurse kept laughing hysterically. She mentioned that babies aren't usually so happy during this.
Of course those happy smiles disappeared during the injections, but the crying was short lived, and right after I picked Eli up he smiled with tears running down his face, he's pretty forgiving. My Poor adorable babies, Marcus and I both hate the shots I think we almost get more sad then they do.
Then they both pretty much slept the rest of the afternoon, since that's how they seem to react to shots.
Eli weighs 13lbs 4oz and is in the 15% for weight, his head is still 50% and he's not on the chart yet for length.
Emerson is 11lbs 7oz, and not yet on the charts but getting closer and following a nice growth curve. Our pedi. is still worried about Emerson's hips though, so we're going to do a follow up with an pediatric orthopedic doctor (or something) just to make sure everything is okay.
They also qualified for the Synagis (RSV shot) so that's a big relief, and we'll start those shots next month. It's one shot a month until March (I think).
She also stressed the importance of Marcus and I getting the flu shots this year, so we'll being doing that ASAP.
Then they had their shots. During their oral Rotovirus vaccine both babies just kept grinning at the nurse. It was hysterical she couldn't get the vaccine in their mouth because every time she would put some in, they would smile and it would all dribble out. The nurse kept laughing hysterically. She mentioned that babies aren't usually so happy during this.
Of course those happy smiles disappeared during the injections, but the crying was short lived, and right after I picked Eli up he smiled with tears running down his face, he's pretty forgiving. My Poor adorable babies, Marcus and I both hate the shots I think we almost get more sad then they do.
Then they both pretty much slept the rest of the afternoon, since that's how they seem to react to shots.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Today...
I fed Emerson a bottle at 4:30, while typing a paper one handed. It needed to be turned in by 5:00. This was a whole new level of multitasking. Emerson seemed to like the paper though (I read it out loud a few times). This whole student/mom thing is interesting.
I'm an Aunt!
My sister and her husband welcomed their daughter yesterday September 13th.
Hannah Libby 7lbs 7oz 20in long, and according to her doctors and parents she's just perfect! (I hate living so far from family).
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Emerson at 4 months!
Now on to little Ms. Emerson. It's so interesting to me to watch how they each develop and discover things at their own pace.
*Emerson figured out she has hands several weeks ago, and holds them both up to stare at and examine them.
*She's starting to figure out how to self soothe a little bit and when crying will put her figures in her mouth for a second or two and it calms her. (Although she's still not real good at keeping them in her mouth).
*Can hold her head up during tummy time.
*Has so much spit and slobbers every where, all over her clothes and anyone who is holding her.
* I can hold her in the sitting position (or prop her on the couch) and she can almost hold her own head up, it's bobbles back and forth and eventually she tips over too.
* Eats 4-4.5oz at a time.
*Is a great sleeper and has slept for 8 hours on 3 different occasions.
* Is a horrible napper. She fights them everyday and will be exhausted and whining for hours (which is exhausting for both of us).
*Likes to stare at the things on the activity mat.
*Still likes to stare at black and white pictures.
*Makes a lot of cute baby cooing noises, especially at her dad. (She however was not amused when he did this to her during bathtime (I think she's adorable though).
*Still has reflux issues that cause her pain when eating poor baby.
*Fits newborn size clothing (Although I put her in the 0-3 month summer clothes that we have so she can get some use out of them before it gets cold).
*Has no interest in holding things or even attempting to.
*After waking up she needs to stretch for several minutes, making old person stretching noises it's so cute.
*Pouts a lot, it's adorable.
She's a sweet little baby, who is incredibly moody. She's so different than Eli in pretty much every way. She still melts down every night before bed time, cries every day (because she won't nap), but her smiles and coos make up for all of that.
Overall, we have two healthy, (mostly) happy, 4 month old babies.
*Emerson figured out she has hands several weeks ago, and holds them both up to stare at and examine them.
*Can hold her head up during tummy time.
*Has so much spit and slobbers every where, all over her clothes and anyone who is holding her.
* I can hold her in the sitting position (or prop her on the couch) and she can almost hold her own head up, it's bobbles back and forth and eventually she tips over too.
* Eats 4-4.5oz at a time.
*Is a great sleeper and has slept for 8 hours on 3 different occasions.
* Is a horrible napper. She fights them everyday and will be exhausted and whining for hours (which is exhausting for both of us).
*Likes to stare at the things on the activity mat.
*Still likes to stare at black and white pictures.
*Makes a lot of cute baby cooing noises, especially at her dad. (She however was not amused when he did this to her during bathtime (I think she's adorable though).
*Still has reflux issues that cause her pain when eating poor baby.
*Fits newborn size clothing (Although I put her in the 0-3 month summer clothes that we have so she can get some use out of them before it gets cold).
*Has no interest in holding things or even attempting to.
*After waking up she needs to stretch for several minutes, making old person stretching noises it's so cute.
*Pouts a lot, it's adorable.
She's a sweet little baby, who is incredibly moody. She's so different than Eli in pretty much every way. She still melts down every night before bed time, cries every day (because she won't nap), but her smiles and coos make up for all of that.
Overall, we have two healthy, (mostly) happy, 4 month old babies.
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