I had a really good night...

and by that I mean I had a really awful night. As I've mentioned before I hate driving. In fact up until recently I just didn't drive because my anxiety was too bad behind the wheel. Thankfully a combo of therapy and drugs have done wonders and I'm making baby steps in the driving department. Baby steps meaning I don't drive on highways ever. I just don't do it. The mere thought basically gives me a panic attack. (This is important background).

Tonight I was suppose to go to a students home for a tutoring session. It was the first time we were suppose to meet so I wasn't exactly sure where I was going (and we're still new in town). I had my directions I was confident that I could find it (after all I successfully found the other tutoring sites).

I'm driving, driving, looking for my next turn off, when suddenly I'm on an on-ramp for a highway. At this point I just panic. I do not drive on freeways. I'm on the verge of a panic attack and it literally is taking every therapy skill to remain even a little bit aware of what I was doing (you know so I don't die).

I get onto the highway (going way under the speed limit because my brain has stopped functioning) and just take the very immediate next exit and look for a place to pull over so I can calm down and figure out where the heck I am. Once pulled over I called Marcus and I was in full on panic and hysterics. I'm lost, I just drove on a freaking highway, I'm late, our car is running our of gas, and it just isn't sounding right.

Marcus takes this moment to remind me of our GPS in the glove compartment (oops) and then he stays on the speaker phone as he tries to navigate me back to where I needed to go.

Since I'm still freaked out I've pretty much forgotten how to even drive and I tried to back up with the emergency brake on and then I stalled the car, and I'm sure that people around me are on the verge of calling the police on the crazy woman driver.

Marcus guides me, I'm still hysterical, and the stupid GPS lady keeps telling me different directions than Marcus. It was too much.

Then to make a really good time even better I noticed that our car was totally over heated, (which explains the strange smell). More panic, more screaming at Marcus about not knowing what to do, while also shouting at the GPS to Shut up as she was "recalculating recalculating".

I did have enough sense to put on my flashers and then I looked for a place that was fairly safe for a woman at night to be stranded for a bit. Which ended up being a casino. (You have to love my home state).

My brother ended up coming to pick me up after a 30 or 40 minute wait and our car is not functioning. I'm so glad we just paid $900 to "fix" it.  The good news is I survived. The bad news is I have no desire to ever drive again and we are without a vehicle for the time being.