These last two days have been hectic and exhausting. On Thursday Eli wasn't acting like himself (Which means he was actually sitting in one place for more than a minute) and by the afternoon he had a fever of 101.4 so off to the pedi. he went. Turns out the poor baby has two ear infections. He was pretty tired and clingy all day yesterday and then he was in a lot of pain at night.
So last night I sat in the dark of my bedroom just rocking my sick baby, and all I could think is how very grateful I am for both Eli & Emerson. Yesterday, a fellow mom of multiples, and a friend from an online community lost her 20 month old son, and there in the dark I sat and rocked my baby boy crying, knowing that she would never get to rock her baby boy again. These are the moments and times when life seems to make so little sense. I rocked Eli long after he fell asleep with his head on my chest, sleeping with his mouth open, listening to him breath just like as we did in the NICU during kangaroo care. My thoughts and prayers are with those who have lost their little ones. I cry and pray for Tiffany and her family and all those who don't get to rock their babies. Sometimes life doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense.
And since we're on the subject of depressing news today I received the biopsy results from my colonoscopy from few weeks ago. It turns out I have Crohn's disease and I'm starting treatment immediately to hopefully put it into a state of remission. I'm not really sure how I'm handling this news. I'm nervous for what it can mean, I'm trying to educate myself without scaring myself, and mostly I think I'm choosing not to really think about it much. It really hasn't been a good few days around here.
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5 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear all of that.
Re: the Crohn's--on top of whatever med's your dr. Puts you on, try a diet like South Beach, with few/no breads/baked goods/pastas/heavy carbs, etc. I have a similar ailment, and I generally feel much better on a protein-veggie-fruit diet.
I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis and Eli's ears. I don't know much about Crohn's but I hope that you can find good strategies to manage it.
We never know what difficulties await us but it's worthwhile to try and focus as much as possible our blessings.
Delurking to say that I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 2005, so I know how freaky getting that diagnosis is.
I tried many of the different medications before being put on Remicade. It works extremely well for me.
Most people have great success with the usual meds. So there's a lot of hope in at least knowing what's wrong and what to try.
Hope you feel better soon!
Oh Sadie *hugs* Hope the doctors are able to sort out soon the best treatment for you. And that Eli is feeling better soon.
Oh wow, Sadie, I had no idea. I'm sorry ... that must be a tough thing to swallow. My best friend's husband has Crohns and lives with it very well ... but I know it is scary and daunting. Thinking of you ... and congrats again on your graduation, what an accomplishment!
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